Can Anybody Else Tell When Somebody Is Autistic Or Not?

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Well I did go to quite a few psychologists. They said I had nothing to gain from a diagnosis even if I have it. Which is true. I am 31 and have gotten by just fine. I went to one because when I first read about aspergers it seemed to describe me very well. Now when I go to therapy sessions with my daughter who is on the spectrum I keep wondering if I am on the spectrum. And her therapists say it’s most likely just anxiety. My quizzes I take online say I have both the traits and score more towards the neurodiverse side.

This perceived ability to rapidly determine someone’s autistic status (or any other trait) based on limited observations is a well-known phenomenon. It is called confirmation bias, and it is considered to be a kind of error. You can read more about it on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias.

Over in the Other Psychological Conditions forum, there has been a poll running on misdiagnoses. It is well worth the read. The exact same “ability” to make a snap-judgment diagnosis is what led therapists to render some of the misdiagnoses described in the responses to that poll.

Having read the DSM-5 criteria (and many exemplars for 18 months) before my ASD Clinic visit, I surprised my two diagnosticians by bringing along a big stack of papers describing myself with clinical and subclinical behaviors, characteristics and comorbids. Having "done so much of the work" for them, they offered to refund a portion of my fee. I continue to read research papers which show new discoveries in autism.

As for considering others' possible autism, I believe that it is easier for me to see some behaviors, characteristics and comorbids similar to my own than those unfamiliar to me.

I have no problem "hinting" about others' possible autism by mentioning my own autism. It usually relieves them (having not wanted to presume), and we talk about it. Even if they don't believe that they are autistic, they are fascinated by talking.

Well, you can't always tell. can you? Nobody can. Some of us are good at passing as NT. I'm not and was once told by a Line Manager that I was fairly obviously ASD. However, he then told me of another diagnosed Aspie I work with. I had not spotted him. I had spotted several others. The former boss of my Dept. was obvious (dull, monotone voice, repetitive speech patters, poor eye contact, tendency to talk too much on pet subject, unusual gait etc.) Some of his colleagues are good at blending in, however.

bumpalicious

I was diagnosed young due to not developing speech until I was 4, and not talking at an age appropriate level until I was about 6/7. But I am a very anxious and introverted person, yet I also have ADHD. This basically means that if I'm around people I am very familiar with (family and a couple of friends I have knwon for over 10 years), or if it is talking about something I am very passionate about, then I can talk non-stop (but usually in a very monotone voice and with a lack of meaningful eye contact/facial expressions). Otherwise I tend to just fade into the background and just observe any conversations rather than actually join in. So in certain situations it is probably easy to tell, but in other situations people would probably just mistaken me for just having social anxiety.

I assume that this also applies to many other people on the spectrum as well. The more extroverted someone on the spectrum is, the easier it is for a stranger to probably realise there is something amiss.

I've singlehandedly identified and helped to seek a diagnosis a few females I met who were undiagnosed autistic and had had a lifetime of not knowing why certain things were so difficult for them. And I was right.

So.…...yes.

My father is autistic and has a certain overall gait, flicks his fingers. That is Aspie. I do it. That can be distinctive for an autistic person. But there are a huge number of other subtle behaviours that are all telling but that people who know nothing about it would never pick up on, sadly

I had to really fight for my diagnosis as a female, and in mental health services with a bunch of arrogant ignoramuses who didn't want to admit that they'd been wrong (ARGHHHHHHHHH!!)

I had a psychiatrist in my early twenties who missed it consistently, and let me down tremendously. He had no knowledge to pick up on the huge number of signs there.

One rather amusing and single example of this is, he asked me one time ''What turns you on? Do you like to cook, etc. etc.'' meaning, what interests me greatly.
Due to my literal interpretation of language I sat there unable to answer because it seemed sexual. And no he didn't mean it sexually.

Someone talking for long periods about their own interests and poor eye contact are of course indicators. There are many

I have seen the entire spectrum of autism. I have seen very severely affected people and those more like myself, whose main problem may be more along the lines of an anxiety disorder. I used to one of the socially anxious types, but that is improving.

Absolutely. I can tell a mile off almost immediately. I don't understand how NTs are so blind to it!

I can't see people a mile away never mind knowing they are autistic.

ah see... I must just have a better autism-dar

(Gay-dar >> autism-dar??? Yea or nay?)

I remember this thread coming up, and how it seemed to become derailed into some sarcasm and misunderstanding.

I have some familiarity now with my own traits and those which are common in ceratainly the part of the spectrum where my own profile plots. That came about from the reading up and reflection i did in between first forming a suspicion and two year later seeking assessment.

I do think it possible that familiarity aids a screening process. I have also had the feedback from others on the spectrum following my own assessment that they did not realise I hadn't been assessed as I appeared pretty autistic to them.

I do know that in my assessment the profile was identified by a recognised diagnostic tool, and also my assessor, on the spectrum themselves spotted it intuitively as well - "Could spot it a mile off" was their quip at the end of the assessment when feeding back the results.

The intuition is not infallible. There is a youtube televised talk at a conference under the auspicies of the NAS where one person who carries out assessments spoke of women attending for assessmnt and they were thinking "What are you doing here ? No way" and yet, on going carefully through with the screening tests and then the diagnositic method, it turns out the person is indeed autistic and just masking it incredibly well.

They're not blind to it, otherwise they wouldn't abuse us continuously. They pick up on it without knowing what ''it'' is

Sometimes I think I can but I never ask them about it because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

But some people give off a strong vibe. Also when you have the condition yourself you tend to pick up on some of those behaviors in other people because NT's are constantly reminding you that your own behavior isn't "normal".

Well at least the OP didn't say he/she could infallibly tell who's on the spectrum by the way they post on the internet .

It's a shame so much of the language around autism comes from non-autistic people, and their impressions of autistic people (as opposed to how autistic people might describe themselves). I think this can lead to so much confusion. Because, to me, most people don't shut up but are great with eye contact. I don't say that to argue with your or what I quoted above. I just find it funny that neurotypicals see a lot of autistic people as non-stop talkers, when I think most of us here feel the same way about neurotypicals. I sure do. The only difference is we're much more focused in our conversation topics, whereas for them the words matter less than the emotions conveyed and the bonding going on. But, I don't think they would realize that to us they talk ceaselessly, because of course the way they talk is "normal." I guess you could say we may have a narrower interest topic-wise, while they can be as narrow emotion-wise.

Also, with the eye contact, they assume it means lack of confidence because that's why they would behave that way. I get that, but I hate it, because I've had so many people insist that I'm shy or not assertive enough. But, the reality is, I'm not all that shy, I just hate most eye contact and the business and "noise" of conversation (i.e. too many gestures, facial expressions, etc). There are times where I stay quiet because I don't want to deal with all those aspects of interacting, but I think the other person just assumes I'm too afraid to speak my mind. You can't win It seems like what I have to say about what I think or feel is meaningless, even though I am me! It's ironic to be told you're not assertive enough by people who then tell you what you think and feel. Maybe others can relate.