Why does autism make it impossible to say "I love you"

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Autistics do not experience emotions typically.

Autism doesn't make it impossible to say "I love you". Even as far as displaying typical gestures of affection and love.

I have no problems with familial love. Fewer problem with platonic love. Romance is likely an alien territory to me.

So yes, I'd proudly say that I love my mom. I'd likely say I like my friends, my affiliations and allegiance than love. But romantic stuff? I may not even be there until it's the serious and ideal stuff.


But it somewhat makes it feel odd saying it, almost the same reason why saying my own name feels weird.
Sure, even feeling the same as I may try to convey, there's something that's been tugging deep down -- whatever it was, it doesn't want to stick with the emotions of love or attachments at all.
Overwhelm while enjoying only to recoil is one thing, but the weird urge to pull out is another. It doesn't have to be overwhelming or uncontrollable, it just had to exist.
Like a part of me wants to let the person I love go for reasons I don't even know myself. Even if neither I or this person is ever going anywhere at all.
No matter how much of an unconditional love I received, no matter how much I thought I actually deserved it, no matter how much a part of me is very attached and even sought said person.


It's not out of guilt, like, letting go because I don't feel like I deserve it and I don't wanna burden this person.
Or that I worry this person, so why not let this person go the load would lighten. Or forbid me, let this person go so I won't have any more emotional baggage or 'debt' from that person.

More like, it's an honor to meet this person. Good, now I wanna move on.
But I have little choice but to stick around for a while with this person because nothing wrong with it, it's not like this person is needy either, yet don't expect stuff given to me like this but it just happens again, whether I want it or not.

And worse of this is that sometimes I had enough with love, even if most sides of myself appreciates it, a part of me is frowning for some reason.
Not out of worry I'm sure, not out of unsatisfactory I'm hell sure. Something else. Something I cannot name yet, something I may not even know yet.

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I was able to say I love you to my mom when I was a kid but that quickly wore off as soon as I moved out.

The only time that I say I love you now is to my teddy bear because I know he loves me right back.

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*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.

I can remember way back in the late 60's, early 70's that Mom would say she loved me. I just thought it was appropriate for me to return the sentiment. But I never felt anything with regards to love. And I never have. Some people have said they love me, but I feel nothing in return. That is one reason I guess that after all these years I have remained single, and never have had a relationship.

It didn't help that I didn't like socializing at nightclubs/bars. The military had clubs for the various ranks. But I was never comfortable in them. I was such an idiot when I did. After the first posting, where I was a square peg trying to fit in to triangular hole, I just stopped trying. Oh I did a handful of times, but it never interested me.

I suppose I am the ultimate homebody!

Never told anybody in my life that I love them.

When others tell me this, I find it offensive. To me it's like telling me to "f--k off." I don't give a damn about your love. If you want a friendship to last, you'll have to start with plenty of respect.

I don't have a problem with people I know decently well giving me a hug though. Kisses? I've never given one, and really don't like the thought of it. It's a bizarre way of showing affection in my view.

Perhaps the reason I stay away from love is because I have some ingrained thought that it somehow results in people showing you less respect from that point onwards. Or, another reason might be because "everyone else does it, I'm not like everyone else, therefore I won't do it."

That video is blocked for me ... xD My parents did question this of me and I said its better to show then to say.