I don't understand how aspies/autistics have relationships?

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having worked in a Labor & Delivery suite for 2+ decades, I can say, as a man, that pregnancy looks scary.

kdm1984,
Your descriptions of your marriage are always fascinating to me, not to mention delightful. Thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts on so many personal topics. It sounds like you two are quite the team and that you complement each other well. Best wishes for many more years of happiness.
Isabella

Glad to know others are helped by it!

100%

I'm in a committed relationship and all I can say is that eventually it becomes routine. Say, you won't be around each other all the time, you'll still do your own thing, wind down and isolate yourself if need be.

It basically becomes an extension of family.

I quite enjoyed being pregnant, my body was producing some kind of "feel-good" hormones most of the time, which meant I was the calmest and happiest I've ever been.

[Well, until labour began and I completely freaked because in spite of antenatal classes I really didn't have a grasp on what was going on, and my stress levels drew the whole thing out to about 18 hours and they had to use a ventouse to pull the poor bub out. Might be why my first-born is also an aspie ]

I wish that was entirely true. It's certainly a lovely idea.

In the case of a STEM degree for someone who cannot grasp higher math, it's quite literally impossible. In my case I have a visual-spatial processing disorder that is not only involved with visual learning or judging depth, space and distance but also precludes the ability to learn higher math. I can do the basics. But when it comes to algebra on up, the neural connections simply do not exist.

With regard to relationships, the other person has to want you too. Otherwise you become a delusional stalker.

When maintaining a relationship, both people not only must want it, they must have either the capacity to fulfill each other's needs or to be satisfied with the relationship such as it is. This requires compromise on both sides. You can love someone with all your heart and give it everything you've got but sometimes you, the other person or both still fall short. Your partner also has free will and you cannot control how that that person feels. Short of chaining your partner up in the basement (I don't need to explain the moral issues surrounding that, right?) you cannot and should not force another human being to stay in a relationship with you if they feel it no longer works for them. Sometimes they tell you well in advance that they are becoming unhappy and you have time to try to mend things. Sometimes you have no clue that anything is wrong until you hear the car pulling out of the driveway and they are gone.

You should still try for what you desire, of course, if what you want is within the realm of possibility. Once you have it you have to keep trying or it goes away. If that thing is a relationship sometimes it goes away anyhow through no fault of yours or theirs. It's tragic but it's reality.

While I try to the best of my ability to maintain a good and fulfilling relationship for both of us I can't simply not be autistic. Thus I make a concerted effort to be less of a burden to my husband and more of a pleasure to be around. Some days are better than others. I try to remember to make thoughtful gestures--even if they're stupid and cheesy--just so that he knows I care about him and not only what he can do for me. Sometimes all he wants is to vent and be listened to. Romantic gestures don't come naturally so that's a challenge... but worth it. Expressing genuine gratitude for his help and patience does wonders. It's very hard being your partner's reluctant caregiver and acknowledging that means a lot. I encourage him to have a healthy social life with friends and take care of himself. From there the ball is squarely in his court. He alone has to decide if that's enough to make him happy or if he wants to move on.

kdm1984, he jokes that he is my "seeing eye dog" for social interactions because he catches the cues I miss and explains them to me like your husband does.

had not heard the term "ventouse" used here [provincial amuuuurica], learn something knew did the shape of your firstborn's head after the cup was removed, give you a bit of fright?

Ha, I was so green I don't think I even knew what a normal baby head shape looked like. Can't really remember now. But the "Little Professor" nickname got started early, so I'm guessing he must have been a bit of an egg-head.

I was nearly 2' tall @ birth, long and skinny like a noodle. I musta been an egg noodle then.

Every person on the spectrum is different, sometimes only subtly so, I think acceptance of actual abilities is key. I rarely find comparisons to be constructive or realistic, they are more of a blunt instrument that does more harm than good.

Relationships aren't easy, like others I've been set aside when my abilities were not compatible with my desires.
When I realised that I was on the spectrum, I changed my emotionally driven desires into a direction that was realistic and suited to my needs. A typical NT relationship would not work for me, I need my alone time.

A relationship with a person who has similar values and abilities is working well for me.
It's not a conventional relationship and why should it be... that would just be taking the self awareness I've developed and ignoring it... continuing to implement the harmful messages that society has imparted to me as a person on the spectrum... square peg, round hole and so forth.

Very wisely put

I can understand maintaining a romantic relationship(SO) but having kids is beyond me. I think for an autistic to produce a child is gonna take a lot of work on both parents for the simple fact that the child might more then likely be on the spectrum as well. Then you don't know where on the spectrum they will be and whether or not they will require assistance for the rest of their lives.

Just because something appears to be effortless, that doesn't mean it is.

Neither do I. Why does anyone get into relationships anyways? Science has yet to fully explain that. Or maybe it has and I just haven't heard about it.

In my case I have lots of people I get along with well, and a few whom I might consider casual friends. I didn't originally plan to have any close friends by this time, but my old organic lab prof talked me into becoming her friend, which initially scared the heck out of me, but it's gradually become easier.

No, I don't want to have children some day (they drive me batty!). No I do not want to marry nor have a girlfriend. I find the idea of a long-term relationship just plain wierd.

Not sure if you are being sarcastic or if this is a genuine question. You are very young, so you might not have the experience and abstract reasoning to grasp the following, but here is why people get into relationships:

Successful relationships provide stability to a society. The husband and wife usually propagate and raise a child (or multiple children) according to their principles. If all goes well, the child grows up healthy and becomes a productive citizen. Process repeats.

All successful civilizations rely on a stable family unit.