What does it mean to think your "better" than others.

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But what does any of this have to do with not talking? Like what does being being “better” have to do with being quiet? I still dont understand.

What they usually mean is either: (1) they think you are conceited, self-centered and stuck-up; or (2) they know that you are better than they, and they don't like it.

People who think they are "better" than others often don't think they should condescend to talk to those "others."

Hence, they are silent.

I think it is just a sort of projection. When some people think they are smarter, better looking, more popular, etc, they will often ignore people who they see as less intelligent, uglier, and less desirable. They see people who they deem to be less desirable than them as a waste of time. Kind of like how you probably wouldn't bother applying to a community college if you believe you have the grades/test scores/extracurriculars to go to an ivy league (whether you really do or not...).

Most people like to make small talk with others. It makes them feel less lonely and more connected with their surroundings. These types of people often don't understand how someone could just be introverted and prefer to spend time alone. I think to most people it wold be as strange as not liking to eat good food. It is an intrinsic drive for most people.

It is easier for the people you talked about to understand that you might think they're not worth your time than it is for them to understand that you're just introverted. It seems like being a true introvert is almost inconceivable to them. They see you ignoring them because you don't think they're worth your time as the only logical conclusion.

To the OP:

It means that the person who judges you for being quiet doesn't understand, and hasn't taken the time to learn about mutism, shutdowns or introverted / shy behaviour. Your quiet demeanour doesn't mean you are are haughty; chances are they are wrong in their conclusions.



I hope you don't believe the inverse is true. People with selective mutism or mutism, or people who are in shutdown and unable to find their words, don't feel they are better than others. In fact, it's frequently the opposite. This stereotype makes it even more challenging for quiet people to find their voice, because they feel they are being judged before they've even said a word.



Exactly. This is so true, Raleigh.

I understand about selective mutism.

I’m just saying there are people who wouldn’t condescend to talk to someone like me.

Not that silence means being a snob.

Thanks. I was just clarifying whether your thoughts were true in the reverse. I didn't think so.

I've been accused of being a snob myself because I can be shy. And also because I bring up intellectual subjects too often.

You're right. A genuinely humble person has to be quiet - and even shy.

On the other hand, the interpretation mentioned in the OP would be a correct one - of my quietness.

I've gotten this accusation many times over the years without justification.

I do avoid conversations that I think will be purely tedious and require the most "acting effort" to maintain. I really don't think this is snobbery though; I literally don't know what to say anymore to the kinds of people from my upbringing, and by "don't know" I mean I can't calculate quickly enough how to respond both verbally and non-verbally to their "manner" without clearly being perceived as odd.

There is an entire "culture of interaction" that feels so foreign to me after distance from that environment. I mask the most with them and it is anxiety inducing.

They bought my silence by criticizing my accent, speed and volume, and manner of discussion relentlessly. I was never one of them and I eventually stopped trying to pretend.

I've had it once, and didn't know what to do at the time.

These days, I'd probably loudly congratulate the person on being telepathic, and start introducing them to everyone in the room as "Dave, who thinks he's telepathic."