Talking to (NT) people about your autism

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I am included in a lot of things, but I know I am not completely like my friends in the groups I'm in. They're married, have children and grandchildren and generally grew up normally. I'm not sure, at my age, that I will ever catch up enough to fully participate in normal conversations, even though people in my groups often say I'm intelligent and can contribute a lot to intellectual and factual discussions.

I don't see myself changing a lot more at this point, but I will enjoy any small moves forward as they come.

I disclose my disabilities to my students, because they need to be aware of why I'm weird.

The main points I hit, and I try to be very brief on these main points are:

1. Sensory issues, and how they affect me - which leads me to instruct them about the classroom rules on cologne, smelly food, etc.
2. Social interaction, and how it affects me - and I do joke about this. "Facial expressions mean nothing to me in the moment. It may take me anywhere from three minutes to three years to figure out what your face meant while you were talking. I might never figure out. But I guarantee you, I won't be able to figure it out while you're talking."
3. Other disabilities I have that affect my ability to interact and teach.

I tell them that they will all, eventually, have disabled co-workers, clients, patients, inmates, bosses, subordinates - and that I'm their "crash test dummy" for this. I get a lot of questions about how it affects the rest of my life, and I answer the questions honestly.

I also try very hard, with non-students, to make sure that it doesn't come across as whining or as an excuse. If it's something I really cannot change (like being able to figure out tone and facial expressions 'in the moment'), I will remind the person "Remember, X isn't something I can reliably do. Can you please say that again so I understand what you meant?" Sometimes they get frustrated. Sometimes they get apologetic.

And if I need to vent, I give them a heads-up that I'm venting. Too many times, people hear venting and assume you're asking for help or a fix, when it's just that you just need to express what's so frustrating.