"Heartlessaspergers.com" wtf is that?!

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I agree. Maybe it was stupid of me to post about it here. I just needed to know how others interpreted the site and I feel it's a bad intention-page.

Back later to respond to the interesting comments; do not want to turn this thread into a chat room but the idea for me is to use material consciously rather then be used by it. This does not mean to just take any old material that comes along with negative content and focus on it, but certain material does have a potential to open a door to many interdependent avenues of inquiry. Do all roads lead to Rome? Not necessarily, er--am not sure, I think they used to and now it is a metaphor, but there is a way to use looking at something and examining it from many different angles to facilitate a comprehensive integration of data that leads to greater mental clarity and a sense of inner confidence and purpose.

Personally I have an intense mind, and am glad of it, but I have to be careful to not let the emotions completely take over. Re the neurotypical backlash toward aspies I was extrapolating about, there could be a grain of truth to it, but I think I may have gotten a little carried away from that end of the stick. Still it is good to keep an eye on these emerging social trends and tendencies, as if some kind of unfavorable movement seems to be emerging there may be some kind of social check that can be put on that, but it would be necessary to study it first in order to make some kind of antidote.

Re an autism diagnosis I think an individual has to decide whether that would be more to their advantage or not to their advantage, but, in short, what you do depends on the context. Imo many people are suffering and kind of crazy on some level, though not completely crazy. In the middle way school of Buddhism they call it "capricious." in that there is a back and forth changing from state as triggered from external events. Some of these people do tend to scapegoat because they are ignorant, and there are not enough people of understanding to help them, There is a seed of mental clarity-the potential to be clear minded- if we learn how to develop it. If a person does increase his own understanding, then there is a potential to help many people. Especially to any young people here who may have a kind of intense mind, imo that is a special thing. There is a unique opportunity to develop and ultimately help many people, but first it may be necessary to learn to harness ones own horse. I am an older person but never really learned how to do this. I am just learning it now.

Last edited by littlebee on 23 Jan 2019, 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

It seems to be a website for entitled spouses of Aspie partners. I don't know why it even exists. I think those people should be talking to counselors about those issues.

I feel like most of these sorts of people who create these websites just want to have fun at the expense of others.

The best way to combat sites like these is to have a good relationship as a counter-example.

My granny used to tell me I was "heartless", that I had "only brains and no heart".
She had some BPD traits.

I wonder what actual NTs think about this site. Some may actually agree with it. Maybe more than you think. It's good to see another perspective, even if it may not be what we'd like to hear.

I'll have to look at the website later. The five minutes I perused the main page was upsetting to me. More than once it literally said and someone with Aspergers is incapable of "understanding someone's thoughts" I wasn't aware that NTs are telepathic and can read each other's minds? I know I sure can't understand anyone's thoughts.

Perhaps the site contains more specific information about the woman's relationship with her AS male partner. I'd like to know specifics of what he did or did not do that was so traumatizing to her.

This is what I can find from the site as to the author's experience with an AS male partner and apparently also a traumatizing experience with a female friend with AS.


"About the author: I had a year-long relationship with a man who did not disclose his diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. I also had a female friend with the disorder who chose not to tell me. But AS cannot be hidden for very long. Their deficits in empathy and communication became painfully apparent. Both relationships were traumatic. Had I known about AS and its effect on others in relationships, I could have avoided becoming involved with them. People with AS should disclose their diagnosis if they are aware of it, and we should have access to accurate information about how this and other autism spectrum disorders affect others. It would enable all of us to avoid a lot of unnecessary pain and trauma."

I'm sorry, it's just that I freak out when I hear anything to do with being killed just because I have Asperger's, and having it on my medical records makes me feel uneasy and frightened in case I get tracked down and forced into concentration camps. At the moment the UK is very politically correct but if somehow a second Hitler gets elected (probably by all these haters of people with disabilities) that means I'm going to spend the rest of my life being freezing cold and starved. What if they bring back those torture devices, where they make you die slowly in agony? Doesn't this frighten anybody else here?

And the woman who wrote this is a professional therapist apparently, not a zit-faced teenager that has nothing better to do than to troll the internet.

This thread has just brought on one of my panic attacks. Thanks.

A professional therapist who didn't have any suspicion that a man and also a woman in her life were on the spectrum? I guess that's possible, but I'm skeptical. Is it professional behavior for a professional therapist to make such a website?

Well that's what people here are saying. I wish I could somehow talk to this ignorant c**t and tell her what a c**t she is. Oh, she will probably just say "that's lacking empathy!" or something.

People do the same with BPD and NPD. All these women have been hurt from the abuse so they create these blog sites about that disorder and bash them and all the other survivors out there who have also been in a abusive relationship with a narc or a borderline, go to those sites and feel better about themselves, some also create their own pages as well and there are even forums about it. But it's more socially acceptable to bash cluster B disorders than it is to bash autism. You will even find books out there for nons about how to survive a borderline and see books out there written about NPD for nons, nothing about NPD for those with it or nothing about BPD for those with it. You see none of that for NTs with autistic people.

I was hurt by my borderline ex so I did the same in my blog and also joined r/BPDlovedones and r/narcisssticabuse and Nrelationships.

But then I moved on. It's like a form of therapy.

As I speculated in a previous message, but now, having had a little more time to evaluate the material, am more sure that Sara Swenson, the therapist very blatantly promoted on that site, is behind this. How sure am I? 99%! Though there is no way to prove this, imo (my opinion) it is obviously her work. Many things point to it--her finger (mind)print as expressed by the site design, her writing style, immature and over-generalized way of processing data. By the way, I also suspect she herself is on the spectrum, (and if true, a self hater, not one of our finest). Yes, she is presenting material that is in some ways maybe true, but she is distorting it because of her own lack of understanding (poorly developed theory of mind on her own part, maybe?) and also with the intent to financially exploit.

But don't let this kind of thing bend you out of shape. Many people pull this kind of stuff, autistics, neurotypicals (if you want to make these kinds of distinctions)---all kinds of people, but let's help each other find our better selves. I am trying to focus on my own behavior and development. Not so easy to even remember to do. Writing from this latter angle, though, does help me remember.

To the people who said to ignore this website--maybe not such a bad idea, actually, but for me this kind of material is grist for the mill. Why let it grind YOU (me)?. Grind IT>

That reminds me of the time when someone got raped by an autistic man, she started hating all autistic people and making videos out there to warn people about autism. Her video on it would always get removed and her pages too about it on social media. She turned out to be on the spectrum herself and she stopped with the autism bashing. Funny how sometimes things work out. "Oh s**t, I am autistic too? But I have empathy, I care about feelings, I care about other people and I know rape is wrong and no means no. Maybe just maybe I am wrong here and what I have read on autism has been all wrong. Maybe that man was just a rapist and he just didn't care."

To be fair some Aspies on WP have bashed the whole NT population just because they were bullied by NTs. These individuals seem to think that all NTs are bad people. That is just as unacceptable as an NT bashing all Aspies just because of a bad experience with an Aspie in their life. I've been treated badly by NTs, often I blame myself because of self-esteem issues, but I still don't bash the entire NT population.

It's a bit like when some people say that all Muslims are terrorists, just because of a small brainwashed group of 'Muslim Extremists' have blown people up (that's what they call terrorists on the news). So it gets the world thinking that all Muslims are dangerous, when in actual fact they are not, in fact a lot of Muslims are AGAINST terrorism.

Didn't mean to freak you out with my Nazi talk, Joe. One of my "special interests" lately has been the history of people with disabilities. I probably know a little bit too much about the Holocaust at this point and that's what makes me jump to "oh my God it's the Nazis all over again" when I read things like this. Obviously one ignorant bigot doesn't make for a whole political regime. I apologize for infecting you with my anxiety.