How to be successful dating as an Aspie.

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Get a good job, buy a new car, rent your own place alone.

Also good ideas, but BigFrank is only 17 years old, and those things may be a little outside of his reach.

Do you have the kind of hobbies where you could meet and talk with people? A common hobby or interest is often a good ice breaker/conversation starter. Also, like some have said, try not to get desperate or, at the very least, don't let it show. It'll scare and creep out some and others might take it as a chance to have fun and mess with you. Also, there's also the thing that if someone comes of as desperate, he will very likely make many of the women he approaches think that he only approaches them because they're women, not because they're interested in the other as a person. Of course, some women don't mind that, but to many it's a red flag. If some woman takes interest in you as a man then by all means go for it if she seems to be your type, but with those who don't seem to be interested it might be better to become friends first, to let them know who you are (and find out who they really are while you're at it.)

I feel like Frank should concentrate, mostly, on his studies.

When I went to college, I wasn't exactly a "social butterfly."

Lots of "social stuff" in college involve stupid stuff, anyway....like beer pongs and all that.

If he gets a college degree, he does stand a better chance at a satisfactory relationship.

Good advice in general, but I think I should explain that by "don't-give-a-damn attitude towards rejection" I think Fnord probably means that it didn't discourage him from going out and trying again with another person (correct me if I am wrong). that is very good advice.

It's super important that if a person you ask out says "No," you respect that and leave them alone. When I was very young I had trouble "taking a hint" as they say. I would pester people that had no interest in me because I couldn't tell, and it was rather problematic. I realize now that there was no benefit to that. I was getting nowhere romantically, and was just bothering people. In an extreme case this kind of behavior be seen as harassment.

This is why I say it's so important to make sure both people are at least vaguely into each other before getting too deeply invested emotionally. Maybe this isn't a problem for the OP, but I needed to get better at sensing when people did and didn't want to be around me in high school.

Last edited by Fern on 23 May 2019, 1:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Agreed on all counts.

The best relationships seem to start when you least expect them to, and become deeper without too much effort (beyond good behavior and staying out of trouble).

All I was looking for was companionship. I was looking for a male best friend, but when that's not enough for the other party, it's not a go. Even if you get along really well. An extra ingredient is required... apparently.

I am sorry, but truly platonic friendships between men and women seem to be exceptionally rare.

Ok here’s what I have so far:
A successful hobby (Radio broadcasting)
A car
A job
Personality (Very outgoing, tenacious etc)
An education (I’m a junior in high school)
Am I missing anything?
Let me know, and also if you have any ideas where I could/should meet a girl OUTSIDE of school.

Not that I can see. Just chill, smile, and don't complain or act desperate.Women your age ... back in my day, they would hang out at the mall or the gym. Many would also attend just about any party they were invited to.

Here's an idea: Ask a local DJ (dance party MC) if you could hang and learn the trade. That way, if you become proficient, you can get invited to parties and meet women! Whaddaya think?

I get a lot of attention for my radio show because I have gotten hockey celebs on my show. I will hang at the mall but I don’t know how to flirt without being obvious. I can’t DJ bc of work. So how do I get into parties?

Getting invited to parties is not something I'm good at.

Don't bother with trying to "flirt" -- I've often been accused of flirting for just smiling and making brief eye contact!

Relax. Smile. Be patient and let nature take its course.

I don't think I explained that well. I was the one who caught feelings. I would stay friends, but he tried to love me back and couldn't and then just froze me out. Everything turned to ice.

So I'm not looking for a best friend now, I want someone who genuinely loves me.

Sorry, I'm just jumping into this thread and going a bit off on my own branch.

I don't know how to be successful at this dating thing.

Last edited by hurtloam on 23 May 2019, 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think close friendships between straight men and women are tricky for this reason. It’s tough when one of you develops feelings for the other one. Then you need to distance yourself from him or her which makes you extra miserable because you miss the friendship.

I’ve been on both sides of this equation.

I still believe that relationships should be based on solid friendships, though.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 23 May 2019, 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BigFrank,

All of the things you listed are very positive. I agree with Kraftie when he says that you should concentrate on your studies. Your radio show is also very positive and successful.

As for me, I am 54 and still waiting for a real relationship. In the meantime, I do a lot of positive things and live a well-rounded life, with work, tennis, Toastmasters and church activities.

I feel like having friends of the opposite gender (I mean "just friends") helps people relate to that opposite gender.

The opposite gender becomes less of a mystery.

I've been friends with many women. They have trusted me not to "try anything." They have trusted me with some intimate details. I learned lots about women this way.