What aspects of social interaction are especially tiring?

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20 Oct 2019, 7:53 pm

Staying focused on listening for any length of time without zoning out
Keeping track of what everyone is saying in group conversations
Thinking of anything to say, much less the "right" thing, quickly enough
Trying to stay still and not fidget or move around too much

shortfatbalduglyman
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20 Oct 2019, 8:09 pm

Making eye contact

Talking correct volume

Jakki
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20 Oct 2019, 9:52 pm

darkwaver wrote:

This reminded me , very sadly am exceeding poor at following group
Convos , they all talk so fast , how does anyone ever process , what is beening said ? Or am i missing a part? These folks are actually talking AT other.
And :roll:

this is my missing link ?.

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mr_bigmouth_502
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21 Oct 2019, 6:25 am

Hiding my true self from people. I pretty much have to do it to survive.

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auntblabby
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21 Oct 2019, 6:36 am

a big part of my social problems is that I seem incapable of hiding anything about myself, everything is on my sleeves for the whole world to see.

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21 Oct 2019, 6:36 am

I can't stand the whole phoniness of it. I am going to a networking event tomorrow and I would rather drink poison. The whole pretending to be your friend, everyone putting on the super social persona and making themselves out to be high paid CEOs in order to attract more money. Ugh. The only reason I am going is the faint hope that someone, somewhere will recognize my talents that can't seem to get past any HR departments.

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21 Oct 2019, 10:11 am

auntblabby wrote:

a big part of my social problems is that I seem incapable of hiding anything about myself, everything is on my sleeves for the whole world to see.

Hide your sleeves ?

And actually in hoping for blossoming friendship , thought that was the idea..?
And so my social dilemma balloon becomes, more evident ? In a field of thorn bushes

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21 Oct 2019, 10:19 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

entity that is the networking event says: "hello, here is your glass of poison,digest this slowly please ." Welcome to our event ,
" btw , beware the HR bot over there, it can only process correct buzz words"

PS : hope you recover well .

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21 Oct 2019, 10:24 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:

Hiding my true self from people. I pretty much have to do it to survive.

SSSSssshhhhh... do not post this in the areas that may have NT prying eyes,
Written in jest ,
Btw .. sorry to say ..this very often the case with lots of us , am thinking ?

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21 Oct 2019, 10:47 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

What aspects of social interaction (both in-person and online, both one-on-one and in groups) do you find especially tiring?

It's a tossup between having to explain what my real intentions were after someone has already made their own assumptions, and having to repeatedly say "I did NOT say that!" -- usually to the same people.

Mona Pereth wrote:

And under what kinds of circumstances is social interaction less tiring to you than it would be otherwise?

When playing AD&D or other table-top RPG.

Mona Pereth wrote:

What kinds of social interaction do you find most tiring, and what kinds of social interaction do you find least tiring?

Most: Crowded meetings, parties, or worship services. Least: On-line correspondence and social websites.

Mona Pereth wrote:

Also, if you were in a position to dictate social customs, how would you change the ways that people interact, so that you could make friends more easily without tiring yourself out as much?

Record every conversation, and play it back whenever someone tells me, "You said..." when I didn't.

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21 Oct 2019, 8:15 pm

Jakki wrote:

Interesting here .. am sorry On average , Aspies
That are not intimidated by being inclusive . Or even just sharing ..no issues with after initial awkward ness . Nowadays find myself relieved when can escape NT CONVOS . Needs a NT proof vest?

Clarification here . Please strike ealier comments about self diagnosed aspies please .
Brain was not well engaged in this response. Been larger problems in real life here. Causing some psychic disturbances in my force? Mental resources temporarily exhausted. And please , btw thank you for any patience you can extend me when am verbalizing misdirected poorly thought out things .

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auntblabby
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21 Oct 2019, 11:54 pm

Jakki wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

a big part of my social problems is that I seem incapable of hiding anything about myself, everything is on my sleeves for the whole world to see.

Hide your sleeves ? And actually in hoping for blossoming friendship , thought that was the idea..?
And so my social dilemma balloon becomes, more evident ? In a field of thorn bushes

IOW it has been considered ok or even salutary, for somebody like prince phillip to show the world he is a bit of a rascal, but not somebody like me.

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22 Oct 2019, 1:16 am

I have most problem with body language. Noticing it in others and controllling it in myself. Ability to do it makes things go smoother but it's exhausting.

I like ritualized forms of social interaction. Especially singing together, I play guitar and sing and I love to sing with others. Other forms of ritualized social interaction may include structured dance, sports (I don't like the noise and competition but it is structured and ritualized), board games... In such settings you know what you are expected to do. It lifts a lot of stress.

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JD12345
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22 Oct 2019, 2:45 am

What is commonly known as 'small talk'.

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22 Oct 2019, 2:53 am

i can do small talk alright, it is big talk that defeats me.

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22 Oct 2019, 5:27 am

JD12345 wrote:

What is commonly known as 'small talk'.

That's hard too because it is so boring. I tend to very quickly get the conversation off those rails when I can help it.

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What aspects of social interaction are especially tiring?