What Does a Meltdown Feel Like?

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Hahahahahaha! Yes. That's it! (The Snoopy one). Except I bottle it in and my head almost explodes!

Yup. Me too. After a meltdown, I usually feel like a toddler who's had a tantrum on the carpet.

I seem to be better at controlling meltdowns as I've got older. These days, I usually politely, firmly, and repeatedly ear-bash the wrongdoer - preferably repeating key points. There's great satisfaction in this method, however, meltdowns still take over from time-to-time. I cringe afterwards, where I usually feel a bit more victorious when I maintain control and ear-bash.

For me meltdowns feel like a loss of control. I can't control what my body is doing at that point in time and just have to ride it out. It feels like rage and panic mixed with frustration and hopelessness, all while I'm watching myself do things like hit my head or bite my hands or dig my nails into my palms because my brain feels like it's exploding and the only way to contain the explosion is to cause physical pain. I had a meltdown yesterday in which my OT, who was with me, restrained me before I had a chance to hurt myself, and I felt like without that pain I just couldn't calm down, and it lasted way longer than it normally does when I can just bang it out and be done with it. Meltdowns suck, they're one of the times when I hate being autistic.