OLDER ASPIES (Over 40, More Like Over 50) Do you think?...

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What do you do?

I work alone essentially all the time. It's nice, isn't it?

I have a part-time job and a full-time job.

My part-time job is in a college library. I'm a "circulation clerk." There is some public contact---but it's not fast-paced at all. I've been here about 3 1/2 years.

My full-time job is as a data entry operator for NYC. I have no contact with the public, and not much with co-workers after 5 PM or so (I work evenings). I've been here almost 40 years (it will be 40 years November 3rd).

Two things that changed my understanding as much as my DX came around the same time. I read a book about Emotional Intelligence which laid out the normal stages of child development, and saw that I had not had them. My AS mother mostly let me raise myself. Then I heard about the Dunning-Kruger syndrome, which makes it most unlikely for incompetent people to realize that they are incompetent. Now, when I see a confident person, I know that the odds are against them being worth listening to, so I look for evidence that they are instead of assuming that I'm missing something.

I have no comorbids but always had to learn to deal with people. I finally realized my whole difference to common people at age of 50. Became aware of my lack of empathy. Learned eye contact to women and men and to deal better with people. Did learn to read people emotionally. I did try to improve at a lot of things after I became aware of my condition. My social skills did improve. Only learning by doing of course and a lot of try and error because nobody explains to you how the brain of other people work. Don't get me wrong I heve never been a looser type. May be that's why it even took me even as long to realize my condition. My social skills where never totally bad but I had never been as aware of the things as am I doing now. You may whine about how bad the world is because of your situation and your condition or you can try to use your brain to make the best out of it.
I still have problems of course but - hey - life is a game and games which are to easy to win or are always the same are usually boring. It's much more interesting if there is always a next level that you have to master.

Well done.

Thanks.

One of my fondest hopes is that you get back on the railway. I've always wanted to be a conductor myself. I understand why you don't want to go back to the railway, so I won't push it.

LONG VERSION: It's hard for me to know whether my ASD traits have become worse overall in a biological sense, because I continue to refine coping strategies, the environmental challenges to me as an Aspie constantly change over time, and the traits are such a mixed bag that I can't reliably reduce them to a single number that would inform me of an overall change in severity. Abandoning my preference for seeing my traits in the biological sense, and using instead the more conventional notion of severity based on how badly ASD is messing up my life probably wouldn't make matters any clearer.

The sensory issues seem to be worse than average these days, but they've been known to yo-yo about over the decades.

Socially I don't think I'm doing any worse, and certainly I'm doing better than I did when I was a lot younger, but with the pandemic dragging everybody down to my level it's become very hard to measure my social performance. I've been walled up alive with my wife for many months and we're still getting on well, but I don't know how much weight I can give to that as a societal performance indicator, as it's so specific to the nature of only one person.

Professional performance can no longer be measured because I'm retired. There were signs that I wasn't going to be able to hold down my job much longer during my last few years at work, but deteriorating working conditions (from an Aspie point of view and probably from anybody's point of view) could well have been responsible for that.

Executive function is hard to assess because of improving coping strategies.

SHORT VERSION: If there has been any change over the years, it's probably not been large, and small differences are notoriously tricky to detect. Let's just say I'm unable to confidently report any significant change.

Maybe a narrow gauge preserved line or a preserved line but it would be voluntry. On the UK national network I would want to do something different.

To me though... The things I used to be able to cope with... Getting back to where I was and cope with it... I just do not know how I did it for so long!

I function well enough to be a clerk----but not well enough to be more than a clerk. Let me put it that way.

I'm fortunate that I got a civil service job when I was young that I was well-suited for.

How about a little over 60? I am better at getting along with people when I have to be with them now, but my lifelong introversion has gotten stronger over the years, so I rarely am with other people anymore. One of my comorbids, Executive Function Disorder has gotten worse over the years, so I now need the help of others with paperwork, and some other stuff. Due to other health issues I am no longer able to work, and am on public assistance. Fortunately, I am able to live alone, which is best for my introversion. Although I am non social, I am not anti social, which has been a big help all thru my life.

@OP.

-The benefit of life experience
-Development of coping mechanisms
-I don't give a shite these days.

You work it out.

Yeah! Long, long ago I decided I was asocial. I was clearly not social but I did not wish ill on those who were social--I just wished they were elsewhere.

Fine wine theory. I feel like I am just getting better with age. This is probably due to my INTJ personality. Eventually my body will deteriorate and my mind but at present I am pleased to be an Aspie.

You drink finer wine? More mature wine? As you get older you get better?

I subscribe to the Fine Wine theory - except that instead of getting better with age, I tell people that I am empty from the neck up