Does my bum look big in this?

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IOW some butts are a pain in the butt, who'd a'thunk it?

As common knowledge dictates, logic does NOT work with an upset person, more so with an upset woman.

If the woman is slim, athletic, or average, I use what I call "loaded rationalism". Here's what I say:
("Does my butt look big in this?")
"That doesn't sound right at all!"
("How so?")
"You're not fat! How can your butt look fat in these clothes, if you're not fat to begin with. It's like asking if... [pause] I don't know... I don't have an analogy."
(Satisfied with the answer.)

If the woman is actually big, she usually "knows" she is, so these questions don't come up. But if they do...
("Does my butt look big in this?")
[confused look] [furl eyebrows] [shake head side-to-side] "No."
(Satisfied with the answer.)

Conversely, if the woman has a sense of humor, regardless of her size, and I know it won't upset her.
("Does my butt look big in this?")
[singing] "I like big butts, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with her... [cuts off]"

Or if it's a woman I've been intimate with, or a good friend who's comfortable with sexual jokes.
("Does my butt look big in this?")
[singing] "My anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, hon... [cuts off]"

I have clothes for going out in, and clothes for being comfy around the house. I honestly don't care what the stay-home clothes look like, they are for my comfort.

If I ask that loaded question "Does my butt look fat in this dress?" it's because I actually want to know how the cut of the dress fits me. I do not have three way mirrors in my house! So I need input.

Of course, my husband is of the "Yes, dear" school of husbandry, so he denies me the fashion input and says the diplomatic thing - "you look great" or "looks fine on you" etc. When I was actually looking for information. That's how aspie I am!

Oh I always tell people their butts look big, unless they're seriously underweight. Big butts are awesome, very good to sit on.

Of course I usually don't intend to "give the right answers". I like challenging people verbally and get quite stoked if they argue back. From my experience people already know (or think they know) if they have big butts or not. Nothing I say would change their personal opinion anyway. I've told my husband everyday in the last 20 years that he's not fat, and he still feels fat.

I like big Tusheys myself ❤️

Usually I can tell whether a person who is asking if their bum looks big is looking for a yes or a no. But even if big bums are trendy or sexy, a lot of women still get offended if you say that their bum looks big.

It's like if someone called me unattractive but added that they like me because I have inner beauty or a wonderful personality, I won't value the latter so much (although inner beauty is valuable and I don't judge people by appearance), I'd be too upset about being unattractive. Although inner beauty is technically better than physical looks, appearance and attractiveness still plays an important part in how you are perceived. I'm more shy and socially anxious in public places simply because people don't know me, and strangers only look at what's on the outside of you. So when out in public it's nice to know that you look attractive because that's all thousands of strangers will see, even though you won't see them again it's still nice to feel emotionally included.
It doesn't matter how much inner beauty you have, humans naturally value physical attractiveness in themselves. Although I believe that there is no such thing as ugly and I'll never call anyone ugly even if I hated them, because that can hurt someone's ego an awful lot, even if that person is quite thick-skinned.

This just in:
"My wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked 'Does this make my butt look big?'
I texted back 'Noo!'
My phone autocorrected my response to 'Moo!'
Please send help!"