Do NTs know they're boring?
If they're doing that then they're preventing me, an autistic person with social anxiety, from revealing mine.
That is the problem with it.
Don't treat drinking as something to be proud of. Especially getting drunk every Friday and Saturday and it's cool cos you're not doing it alone... That shouldn't be normalised.
It's a choice until it's an addiction. I don't do it. I like to preserve my brain and body because I care about them. If someone else chooses to put all that at risk (especially the kind of NT who doesn't have much in the way of a brain in the first place) that's their choice but it's nothing to be proud of and it doesn't make them grown ups.
At least with weed, it can kind of chill you out and scenes like there were on Sunday wouldn't happen with a bunch of stoners so it's less selfish.
I want the kind of town centre you can walk safely around and be stone cold sober and female or trans in the middle of the night. Stoned young men would achieve that. Sober young men would achieve that. Drunks don't. They scare me.
I want to live in a world where people don't congregate in mass numbers during a pandemic getting drunk.
I want to live in a world where me choosing not to drink doesn't make me out to be a weirdo.
I want to live in a world where me having hobbies doesn't make me a weirdo.
If I'm harsh it's in response to some pretty harsh, infantalising and othering comments back to me. I shouldn't have to hear 'have a drink you're old enough' or 'turn your brain off' or 'it's not that deep'.
I treat football and TV the way you treat movies. How can I not when I studied media studies? Thing is? Those people don't treat things like that. They celebrate the 'not that deep' approach to life. That's what I hate. Why not make it deep? Deep shouldn't be the dirty word, shallow should. I shouldn't be criticised for over analysing things which artists (directors, film designers, script writers and actors are artists) have put a lot of work into.
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That is the problem with it.
Don't treat drinking as something to be proud of. Especially getting drunk every Friday and Saturday and it's cool cos you're not doing it alone... That shouldn't be normalised.
NTs can have social anxiety too, or bad past experiences, perhaps some that have led to a downright trauma... even if an NT is not talking about their interests, that does not prevent you from revealing yours. If you don't want to reveal your interests for one reason or the other then it's all good, but don't blame the fact that you choose not to do so as something that is the fault of the NTs. If you must find someone to blame besides yourself, then blame some specific NT or NTs that you know, but don't attack NTs in general as a group. That's bad taste.
Also, as much as I too hate it, that kind of drinking has been normalized at least since the 90s... here, at least.
Allistic people can have social anxiety disorder.
NT people cannot suffer from social anxiety disorder.
People with social anxiety disorder - allistic or autistic - are not going to feel confident enough to exist as themselves in a judgmental world.
I'll blame my mind and the society it finds itself in for that one.
NT means neurotypical means allistic whilst also mentally healthy.
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Seriously unless you're smart enough to understand that social anxiety disorder is a f*****g mental illness and you can't be mentally healthy while suffering from it...
Unless you're paying enough attention to know I suffer from it...
Don't f*****g judge me cos it's not your f*****g place.
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NT people cannot suffer from social anxiety disorder.
People with social anxiety disorder - allistic or autistic - are not going to feel confident enough to exist as themselves in a judgmental world.
I'll blame my mind and the society it finds itself in for that one.
NT means neurotypical means allistic whilst also mentally healthy.
One can have social anxiety without actually having it so bad that it's an official disorder... or maybe, instead of saying "have social anxiety" I should say "be anxious in social situations." I assure you, very socially skilled NTs can also get anxious in social situations. I've seen it plenty of times.
Also, why would you have a right to judge an entire group of people, majority of who you've never met, one that keeps in the majority of the world's population, if I have no right to judge you, a single person?
How about we all just stop judging anyone?
! | Cornflake wrote: |
A reminder for all posters - Wrong Planet is an inclusive site and welcoming of anyone - please don't make generalised attacks on a group of people. Criticising NTs as though they're some sort of sub-species is not only unpleasant, it's also not permitted. |
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NT people cannot suffer from social anxiety disorder.
People with social anxiety disorder - allistic or autistic - are not going to feel confident enough to exist as themselves in a judgmental world.
I'll blame my mind and the society it finds itself in for that one.
NT means neurotypical means allistic whilst also mentally healthy.
One can have social anxiety without actually having it so bad that it's an official disorder... or maybe, instead of saying "have social anxiety" I should say "be anxious in social situations." I assure you, very socially skilled NTs can also get anxious in social situations. I've seen it plenty of times.
Also, why would you have a right to judge an entire group of people, majority of who you've never met, one that keeps in the majority of the world's population, if I have no right to judge you, a single person?
How about we all just stop judging anyone?
OK then...
I don't really care if it comes to someone with low level anxiety like that.
I suffer from an actual mental illness.
People who don't suffer from that would be well advised to mention their low level weirdnesses so those of us who feel f*****g weird about ourselves to the point of self hatred & inability to get out of bed can feel somewhat normal. They'd also be well advised to quit being so judgmental all the time over stuff like people choosing to be themselves. Sometimes it even gets into ableism and transphobia. Quite commonly gets into the realm of sexism where they judge women for things they don't judge men for.
People with low level 'anxiety' (nerves) admitting their oddnesses would be just like how I admit when I'm sad. If people like me didn't do that, people with serious depression would feel absolutely weird from the norm because the norm would be all happy-sunshine-and-lemonade fakeness and they would seem completely weird in contrast to that.
And yes I am somewhat putting myself in a vulnerable position by admitting I'm sad. So what? It's not depression, I get over it.
For interests of clarity I am talking about very normative type people. Not all NTs but a significant number of them that I've come across in my life and don't seem to be able to avoid.
And yes, if you are NT you don't have a mental illness. If mods have an issue with this, learn what NT means. It doesn't mean allistic. It means allistic and mentally healthy. An allistic person can be NT then develop some mental disorder like depression or SAD and no longer be NT because their minds don't work normally.
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For what it's worth when I encourage you to embrace your eccentricities that's advice coming from someone who's been formally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I seem to have a lot more stimulus seeking coping mechanisms than some people here, they gradually mute your stress response in 'normal' situations. There's certainly downsides and I recognize not everyone is able to make use of these strategies, that said they have worked better for me than avoidant strategies.
Two specific examples:
Learning to race made driving in traffic on the road much less overwhelming.
Embracing my odd fashion sense when I was younger caused me to become a more outgoing person and to improve my (admittedly still lacking) social skills. Performing in front of audiences further helped this.
I still find driving in heavy traffic stressful but I can usually manage. I still often prefer to be socially avoidant and to limit interactions to contexts I'm comfortable with but I'm also a lot more capable than I likely would be had I of not actively chosen to be the person I wanted to be for awhile.
You deserve to get to be the person you'd like to be to the furthest extent possible.
NT people cannot suffer from social anxiety disorder.
People with social anxiety disorder - allistic or autistic - are not going to feel confident enough to exist as themselves in a judgmental world.
I'll blame my mind and the society it finds itself in for that one.
NT means neurotypical means allistic whilst also mentally healthy.
One can have social anxiety without actually having it so bad that it's an official disorder... or maybe, instead of saying "have social anxiety" I should say "be anxious in social situations." I assure you, very socially skilled NTs can also get anxious in social situations. I've seen it plenty of times.
Also, why would you have a right to judge an entire group of people, majority of who you've never met, one that keeps in the majority of the world's population, if I have no right to judge you, a single person?
How about we all just stop judging anyone?
OK then...
I don't really care if it comes to someone with low level anxiety like that.
I suffer from an actual mental illness.
People who don't suffer from that would be well advised to mention their low level weirdnesses so those of us who feel f*****g weird about ourselves to the point of self hatred & inability to get out of bed can feel somewhat normal. They'd also be well advised to quit being so judgmental all the time over stuff like people choosing to be themselves. Sometimes it even gets into ableism and transphobia. Quite commonly gets into the realm of sexism where they judge women for things they don't judge men for.
People with low level 'anxiety' (nerves) admitting their oddnesses would be just like how I admit when I'm sad. If people like me didn't do that, people with serious depression would feel absolutely weird from the norm because the norm would be all happy-sunshine-and-lemonade fakeness and they would seem completely weird in contrast to that.
And yes I am somewhat putting myself in a vulnerable position by admitting I'm sad. So what? It's not depression, I get over it.
For interests of clarity I am talking about very normative type people. Not all NTs but a significant number of them that I've come across in my life and don't seem to be able to avoid.
And yes, if you are NT you don't have a mental illness. If mods have an issue with this, learn what NT means. It doesn't mean allistic. It means allistic and mentally healthy. An allistic person can be NT then develop some mental disorder like depression or SAD and no longer be NT because their minds don't work normally.
The way I see it allistic is the accurate word for someone without an ASD. Neurotypical just means someone without a disability, disorder or neurological illness such as downs syndrome, learning disabilities, ADHD, dementia, schizophrenia, etc.
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I think I'm just gonna try and be me.
And stick to Tumblr.
People are more 'weird' on Tumblr.
It bothers me on Twitter when I post something - anything - apart from football and politics and receive crickets.
Irl = after covid, for the sake of people talking about 'that's not real life though'...
Irl it's probably better to go to LGBT groups (I know technically even a non-binary pansexual person can be normative but that's not my experience of the community) or art groups than hang around places where people want to be 'normal'.
Now my diagnosed anxiety makes that hard because I have what is either extremely unfortunate experiences or aural hallucinations when going from place to place. Literally every time I go out, I hear pointed laughter towards myself.
Puts me off dressing more extremely because then the laughter will get even worse.
Part of me: my logical brain, believes NTs laugh more than I do in conversation and it isn't about me. Part of me: my SAD brain, believes the whole world (not entire globe, more the entire sphere in which I exist so whatever street I walk down) is talking about me and laughing at me. The SAD part of my brain lashes out as a defense mechanism - like I said, if someone's gonna get judged then it won't be me.
Youngsters are more openly weird on Twitter than old people my age are. But they ignore me when I engage in what they're talking about. Even though they're talking about 1970s pop music & they're over 18.
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One thing to consider, a lot of these basic people don't think very deeply. If they're dealing with a problem like overwhelming day-to-day anxiety while socializing and they learn that alcohol makes that feeling go away they'll self-medicate with alcohol and go back to doing what they think is normal, socializing about basic s**t while using alcohol to make that experience enjoyable. They might not have the insight to understand that what they're feeling is anxiety but they know how it impacts them and how to make it stop.
Just like any other group of people with a toxic behaviour that's normalized, they're surrounded by people who tell them getting trashed is part of normal socializing. It's normal, they don't consider to question it. They just do it.
That's what I'm basically driving at in a more polite way of saying it than OP...
Is there a group of people who are aware they don't think deeply? And that they are particularly normative rather than being very original?
It is hard to ask that question without being smug and superior but there's benefits to not overthinking, as well.
Or do each of these people feel super original and think of themselves as incredibly deep thinkers?
Sorry if it seems like a rude way of putting it in OP but I was at my wits' end after about 6 months of hearing nothing but complaint and politics out of dozens of people as much 'in my life' as most of my friends on here. My other online friends. I wish they had spoken about things that give them pleasure.
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I attatch alternative meanings to things than others do so I like to think of boring as a way of saying "we are interested in different things". This way it is not an insult (NTs will take the term boring as insulting and verbally murder you for it).
Do I have different interests to NTs?
Yes, sometimes.
But I love learning new things and I am not interested in mundanity, which is what most NTs seem to want to talk about.
I live mundanity, I don't need to keep talking about it.
I am not formally diagnosed but I like to come here as I find many of posts posted by people on the spectrum interesting. I read the posts here whereas on an NT forum board I just glaze over them.
In other words I find people with autism interesting (and sometimes cute)...
I also relate to them more than I do Neurotypicals.
It is as if I have found my people even if I don't always agree with everything they say.
I understand.
It's nice to understand.
But yes I can find NTs boring sometimes.
But then I can also be a bit NT myself.
My dad was autistic (think rainman but not so much on steroids) and my mum was as NT as you are going to get.
I am the hybrid but I understand the Neurodiverse world more so than I understand the Neurotypical one.
I'd like to say that over the years I have developed more understanding of neurodiversity but my life has taken an unexpected turn after a cycling accident where I acquired a head injury.
Basically I can't learn new things like I used to and seem to have developed symptoms of schizophrenia. A bit of a bugger really. My brain does not work like it used to and I am distressed by this.
All the same OP, keep doing what you are doing, I like it.
But keep in mind that NTs will take the "term" boring as an insult. But I know what you mean.
Is there a group of people who are aware they don't think deeply? And that they are particularly normative rather than being very original?
It is hard to ask that question without being smug and superior but there's benefits to not overthinking, as well.
Yes
Probably
Understood