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Why do people ask this question?

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magz
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02 Oct 2022, 7:22 am

 ! magz wrote:
Some posts have been removed.
Please, keep disagreements from other threads contained to the relevant threads.


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Gammeldans
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02 Oct 2022, 3:24 pm

KitLily wrote:
Gammeldans wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I would ask a question like that for the reasons people mention above:

1. To connect with people who may feel the same as me.
2. So I don't feel like I'm the only one in the world to have that problem/situation.
3. To find out if it's normal to have that problem/situation.
4. Maybe get some advice/tips on how to cope, even if there's no solution (which there generally isn't).
5. To take a break from the real world where people tend to say 'you have that problem? You're such a weirdo!' I would hope that people on Wrong Planet would be more sympathetic and open minded.


5 seems very good! 8)
It is easy for anyone to focus on having problems.


Can you explain what you mean by your second sentence? :)

Sometimes you are just different but are told that you have problems and must change.



Gammeldans
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02 Oct 2022, 3:26 pm

Joe90 wrote:
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Also, if you ask for solutions on this forum, people have a habit of pushing nonsensical half-baked "solutions" on you and then getting really offended if you don't acknowledge that they have magically fixed your life.


This is true. I very seldom give advice. I just listen and sympathise. Advice can drive me crazy, but advice isn't a bad thing because it's always done with the best of intentions. But even so.

Give advice if a person asks for it. I never do it unless I am asked to.



KitLily
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03 Oct 2022, 6:54 am

Gammeldans wrote:
KitLily wrote:
Gammeldans wrote:
5 seems very good! 8)
It is easy for anyone to focus on having problems.


Can you explain what you mean by your second sentence? :)

Sometimes you are just different but are told that you have problems and must change.


Ah that makes sense, thanks!


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himmellaufen
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11 Oct 2022, 12:40 am

Gammeldans wrote:

How is knowing that someone else have a similar problem/issue helpful for you?



It

1. makes me experience shadenfreude(joy at misery of others)
2. forges emotional bond over similar misery
3. validates me as an autistic person or perhaps just as a person when I learn that others in this group are like that too

Most of the time, just a simple answer "it do be like that you are not alone and I feel that pain too" is THE solution, it calms you down immediately.

This is opposed to answer such as "I literally don't know what you're talking about and I never felt like this" which increases feelings of inadequacy and alienation

Since thoughts and feelings aren't material, they can't be measured or weighed, or otherwise observed. Thus, it's easy to lose track of them and feel like they aren't actually real. Having someone else experience the same thoughts and feelings is insta grounding, it's a living, talking evidence that these feelings actually do exist.

Last but not least, if enough autistic people say "YES WE DO" this gets you on the right track, so to speak. You realize that this issue of yours is probably autistic issue, and not adhd issue, bpd issue, schizophrenia issue, or otherwise connected to some other mental disorder. Thus you can begin approaching it and trying to fix it(if it really bothers you) taking ASD specific tactics and attitudes.



shortfatbalduglyman
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11 Oct 2022, 8:48 pm

Something could be a function of autism without being part of the diagnostic criteria per se

For example, excretory problems allegedly occur in autistics a lot more often than in neurotypicals, but excretory problems are not necessary for an autism diagnosis

Knowing someone else with the same problem:. Solidarity, camaraderie, advice



lostonearth35
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11 Oct 2022, 11:28 pm

People ask this question because they feel like they're the only person in the whole world who has a certain problem and finding out they aren't is at least some degree of relief.

For example I used to think I was the only person who used to find the old logos that appeared at the end of prime-time TV shows from the 60s to the 80s and sometimes the 90s really creepy or even downright terrifying. But I found out on YouTube many other people were afraid of them as well. There's even a wiki for Nightmare Logos, where they rate the the amount of nightmare fuel and have links to many logos to see if you're brave enough.