Is it weird to enjoy going to a hospital?

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My therapist always told me "Just tell your parents how you feel." So I did, even though I knew it'd backfire. Gee, that turned out super well! Their reaction was: "What feelings!? You're a kid, and a boy to boot! Stop talking nonsense!" That's when I realized my therapist was colluding with my parents to get them more opportunities to berate me or punish me, which they enjoyed doing.

In hospitals today, I don't need to tell the workers how I feel. They're either good at reading body language, or the procedure has pain minimization built in. And the workers always properly explain what they do. So it's never trauma-level bad. By contrast, my pediatricians just walked in, then jabbed me with a needle or used creepy-looking tools on me, without explaining to me what's what. One time I questioned them, they said: "We're doing everything right; sit still and be a good boy."

I have a long road ahead with my future treatments. I hope my hospital experiences continue to be as good. I feel like I'm making up for lost time as a child.

The technology for “pain minimization” didn’t exist when I was a kid.

No novocaine for me when cavities were filled at the dentist.

Yep. The doctors were pretty cold when I was a kid.

But I got over it, and moved on.

Sometimes, one just have to move on from bad experiences. Not moving on keeps you down.

Yep, same here. I didn't have a therapist of course, they didn't exist in Britain til the 1990s at the earliest. But telling my mum about my feelings was a very big mistake. She would get angry and/or offended and storm out of the room, or say 'I've got much bigger problems than you!' And sometimes she would 'get revenge' afterwards on me for making her life difficult. The only emotion she understood was anger perhaps? I was never allowed to have problems or emotions, I was supposed to keep smiling and happy all the time

Generally it's not a good idea to talk about feelings in Britain, people have zero understanding of feelings and you get mocked/bullied.

That's why I do things differently with my daughter- she will not have to suffer like me and bottle up her feelings until she has a breakdown. She is allowed to show her feelings and talk about problems.

Good luck with your treatments!

Well, adults do have bigger problems than kids do. But they have alcohol, benzos, and "mommy's little helper" (Valium). Kids have none of those luxuries. Kids also get neither propofol nor fentanyl (both incredibly fun!) when they have surgery. So the adults' "net misery level" is much lower, and your mother's comparison was extremely unfair!

As a kid, I'd gladly take "adult problems" if I could also have fentanyl, money, alcohol, and doctors treating me with dignity.

It's scary how medical technology goes to great lengths to minimize adults' pain, while kids are expected to "put up and shut up". Maybe because adults come in on their own accord, while kids are dragged in by their parents and can't escape.

Thanks for the good wishes.

The thing is, yes, adults have bigger problems, but they also have an adult brain with coping strategies and life experiences, and friends, relatives, colleagues to support them.

My dad died when I was 13. I had no support- no counselling, my teenage 'friends' didn't care, I had no emotional tools to deal with being bereaved. I wasn't allowed to talk about my feelings or my mum got angry, so I bottled them up and ended up having a nervous breakdown 10 years later.

At the very least I should have had ONE PERSON to talk to about my dad, but Britain in the 1980s was very anti counselling and emotions. Stiff upper lip! Keep calm and carry on! Which is IMPOSSIBLE for a bereaved 13 year old.

That's why I let my own daughter show her feelings and problems. She won't go through what I went through having to bottle everything up.

Thanks for listening.

Yep....it's terrible that your Mum was like that right after your Dad passed away.

Not to excuse her.....but she was probably afraid she would "lose it" if she let herself get emotional about it.

My mother had many emotional problems when I was about 13. And I did, too. She would, superficially, encourage me to "talk about my feelings"---but, if I actually did, she would cut me off. Probably, her own problems got in the way of her deeply caring about my problems.

Ironically, she became a psychotherapist later on.

I'm not into keeping feelings "bottled up."

But, there are times when one must "carry on" in order to survive.

If a person grew up in the Depression (1930s) or World War II (1940s), that person usually is not into talking about "feelings." They usually had some sort of PTSD about what occurred in both eras which caused them to hate reflecting upon their feelings.

That's what I thought...at first. But she has been the same for 40 years now, so I've realised she's just that sort of person- oversensitive, angry, offended, unpredictable, I gave up long ago. I can't remember her being nice.

You're right about the people who grew up in those eras. My mum was very little then but probably carried that idea with her.

However...she refused counselling for both of us when my dad died. Counselling would have done me, at least, a world of good. Just ONE person for me to talk to about my dad is not much to ask.

My mum had relatives, friends, colleagues, neighbours to talk to. I had...no one...

Anyway, now I've totally derailed the thread, I'd better shut up!

I think it is quite natural. I have been to quite a few hospital and doctor visits since I suffered a massive stroke a year and a half ago, and the people in the hospital treat me with great kindness. (I think it is part of their training.) to be compassionate. As an Aspie, it seems like the whole world scorns me so much over the years that being treated with kindness really stands out. So I can understand.

Not really. We're talking about how people seek to deny others the right to feel bad about things.

I'm sorry your Mum has been like that. It's not fair. But she is she, and she has her failings. You are seeking to "correct" them through how you treat your daughter. And she'll come out well as a result.

Well, this thread started as a debate whether it's normal to enjoy hospital procedures, needles and all. It later evolved into trashing of pediatric medicine, which was an inhumane butcher shop when I was growing up. And since parents are almost always involved in the medical treatment of their children, child emotional abuse/neglect is a fairly logical discussion branch.

Well, I only started frequenting a hospital when I was older...and all I liked was the food.

I didn't know that before 1988 babies didn't get anaesthesia for procedures. I had eye operations as a baby - thankfully I can't remember them.

The only hospital stays I've had semi recently have been for the psych ward. Not enjoyable with all the side effects I was getting from medications but the food was very nice.

I haven't had much experience with hospitals other than going in for something like an x-ray, mammogram, or ultrasound that wasn't in a separate clinic. Mostly, I've just been a visitor or driven someone home after they were told they needed a driver.

I'm going to be in one soon because I have a large ovarian cyst that will have to be surgically removed. I did have an MRI, but it was at a separate clinic, but the radiologist was good about explaining it. If I end up at the local Memorial hospital, I already know how good the cafeteria food is as I've eaten there when I was there to drive my mom home from a colonoscopy. Also, my niece was born in that hospital, so it's probably one of the best for the type of surgery I'm expecting to get.