Therapy is going in Circles

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I see you are in California? In areas with large populations there are many teaching hospitals associated with universities, and many of them will diagnose autism in adults. Search for diagnosis with a knowledgeable professional can take years. You want to find a person who is an autism specialist with many years experience, hopefully with many adults.
Do you set goals with your therapist, regarding problems in your life and finding solutions, or do they perpetually just want to talk about "feelings" Is it the same therapist all these years? Perhaps it is time to find somebody with a new and fresh perspective. I went through 3 therapists before finding the 4th who could reach me, teach me, and who probably saved my life and my sanity by teaching me new skills to "do life" with. I did not learn of my autism until almost 35 years later - the point being that focusing on struggles and how to "work around" them or learn new ways to cope or make progress.... you don't HAVE to talk about autism to do that. If you want better understanding of your autistic processing and struggles, the tests posted here on these pages are a great place to get some insights. You can also ask for a neuro psychological evaluation. (maybe you already have had one?) . That should list performance levels of various tests and have a summary of your worst struggles and strengths. Knowing that can give insights into the things that are particular problems. Breaking things down into the things that are hardest/worst for you to do and finding new ways to do them, one at a time can help so much! So much to sort and understand from the new perspective of knowing about our autism, but eventually things begin to make more sense. Cheering you on. You are definitely not alone!