how to cope with any new year

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i guess i don't measure my seasonal jolliness in reference to the presence of other humans. i just like the general societal vibe of the holiday season where people are somewhat more ready to chill.

It's probably down to the notion that it's a "family time of year" - anticipated low turnout due to punters travelling around to visit said family members, and the people who organise the thing may be doing that themselves. They're somewhat concerned that the music thing could go to the wall one of these days, so a low turnout is somewhat depressing and scary for them, as well as losing money. Anticipated bad weather could be an additional factor, though weather forecasts tend to be pretty accurate here yet I've not known them stay open when it's forecast to be good weather.

Interesting. I guess in psychological terms I'm remarkably unaffected by what society is doing with its "special days," so for me there's very little of this vibe-absorption thing.

you are very fortunate to be largely insulated this way. you won't be depressed come january like so many others.

Indeed, standing outside of mainstream society has its upside. I tend to feel a little like an Englishman living in Africa or India during the empire days, hob-nobbing with the natives occasionally but never really wanting to become one.

I don't really have any strong feelings towards the new year, sometimes I use it as an annual reminder to do a life audit of sorts, set some goals, have a bit of a clear out, etc. I don't like having to change the number on the end of the date, something about it just irks me. Other than that, I have no strong feelings.

Usually I'm just glad the holiday season is over

(Slightly unrelated, but I had a seasonal job this year and was working all through the holiday season. It was nice to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve with my co-workers rather than alone, but I'm glad its over now as it was pretty stressful. I'm finding that I miss having people to talk to and that my life feels somewhat empty now though)

^
You make a couple of strong points there.

1. The new year might be an arbitrary construct, but without some kind of arbitrary time for reviewing a thing, it might never get reviewed. Depends on the individual's way of doing things. Personally I tend to review things as I go along, but that might not be the best way. Maybe the origin of the resolutions thing was that in the dead of winter when there wasn't much to hunt or gather, it was a handy time to do some stocktaking and take a look at overall policy and how it's all going in the long term?

2. Anybody unmoved by these ritual holiday things might be able to take advantage of a system that compensates greatly for the sacrifice of working on the sacred days, because to such a person, there's no sacrifice.

i noticed there aren't too many here who notice the "feels" of the season. just the facts, only.

Last edited by auntblabby on 11 Jan 2023, 6:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes I suppose that usually goes with the Aspie turf. Seems as if you have a streak of NT going on in there somewhere, which of course isn't surprising with a spectrum disorder.

i know there must be other aspies who are more emotional than cognitive.

I see myself as fairly emotional, but almost completely impervious to that hive-mind thing or whatever they call it, the thing that would make me buy into something just because other people bought into it. So for me a thing like the new year is mostly something that happens to other people. When I do buy into something that other people are sold on, it usually follows some thought on my part.

yes, you described my mental mode well also. when i see pretty lights and hear pretty sounds, it elicits in my thinking a sublime calm. but i can't get excited like the other folks, come new year's eve/day when everybody seems to go somewhat ape and celebrates for god-knows-what.

I don't really mark it in any way. I do find New Years vaguely positive though, because it comes after the low point of the collapse into non-functioning stupour I go through every November and December.

I find it odd that xmas actually feels good for you. In my reality it's a time of year full of chaos, loudness, a million things I have to do in a small amount of time... it's close to hell on earth for me. And I have to do it all with as much of a smile as I can muster because it makes my family feel bad when I don't. I try for their benefit, but damn, it kills me every year. I hate it. It comes in a flurry of rush and leaves with a giant mess I have to clean up in the aftermath of it all when all I want is to sleep for a month. I am the ultimate grinch. Seriously though, nothing stresses me out like xmas. I'm glad when it's over and I can recover from it. In that, I should love the new year, but I'm so shot from the holidays that it's a meaningless blur to me. I'm okay now, but it took me a few weeks to get there and now January is half over.

Tell you what though (and I know you don't mean it this way), I feel fall. That is the 'season' I feel. Every fall feels to me like a warm blanket or comfy old sweater, it feels like home to me. It;s when I take that deep cleansing breath and let it out and can just be for a while. Maybe that's xmas to you. Hell, maybe that's part of my bone to pick with xmas... it's this chaotic whirlwind after I got my mellow on in my okay place for a few months. Maybe the contrast is helping me with the grinchiness here. I dunno.

^^^i agree with your feel of fall, it makes me feel that way also