“Be yourself and you’ll attract the right friends”

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be myself but attracting the right friends means no friends

It ended up being true for me. It just took a while. Usually with other autistic people who shared my special interests. My pen-pal from Germany is also autistic and we've been friends for almost two decades now. My closest friendships are usually with people I meet online and happen to share a special interest with. When the interest is over, usually so is the friendship but somehow wasn't the case with my German friend. By the time I became an adult, other people who were adults weren't changing their interests anymore.

I think it's kinda true. I don't fake too much and all the friends I attract seem to be strange in some way. They have some disability, or personality disorder or other issues they didn't share. A friend I met 25 years ago was just diagnose with autism a few years ago, after I was diagnosed, and we didn't tell each other about this until this year. It wouldn't have mattered if we were already friends.

Once I met a lady who was lovely and normal. Turned out she has an autistic daughter. She probably tolerated me because of that. I do wish I can be with normal people sometimes, but if it's going to be uncomfortable for them I won't bother.

Remained myself and been left alone outside of family, though being myself online did come with some level of popularity in spaces like second life (clue is in the PfP) :p

Being yourself is usually a good way to avoid attracting the wrong friends, but attracting the right friends is a bit of luck - especially if the kind of people you like are very rare. I've spent much of my life frustrated that the people who partake in hobbies I enjoy are usually very much not like me.

Part of the challenge to being yourself is you need to know who you really are. For a lot of people, that's very difficult.

Yeah I was one of the losers too

I have some doubts in my own case.

I can charm others alright into approachable levels -- that, and without bother hiding about anything as long as I'm not dealing with crap.

By crap, this meant me, 2-3 steps away from violence.
And no one wants me whenever I'm dealing with crap. Even I hate myself enough for just having to put up with the crap.


Yet and yet I also had to take account of this culture in particular -- do they actually care about me? Do they truly want anything to do with me? Do they really want to know me? Will they understand?

I want something deep, not just some simple passersby thing. Not merely just a networking thing. Not simply an ally thing.

And even so, it's a two way thing.
Would I want this person? Would I even care? When and how, in eventuality, would I be driven to do anything in my power for this person?
Likely never as long as I'm dealing with crap.

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But even though we were the 'losers' corner, we had some great, fun times together. We were a group of girls, and we found ourselves sitting next to a group of 'loser' boys, so the two groups made friends! We were often the loudest group in the common room.

You don't need to be popular to have a good time, just find your people.