Tell tales of when people insulted your intelligence!

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Most people automatically pigeon-hole me as "the smart one". I'm white, and the Chinese students (who, according to stereotypes, are mathematically gifted) around me in my college calculus class are always asking me for help on their homework!

That is, most people that know me well (or my classmates) consider me "smart".

But take that reputation, twist it 180 degrees, and that's the image I project to people who only interact with me on a more-or-less superficial level.

On first glance, I must admit, I appear a bit ditzy and slow. I won't deny that. I have no clue why I subconsciously play dumb, but I do. I suppose I think it'll make people go easier on me when I make mistakes?

That only backfires in the case of my bosses. I work for a frame shop, and while I have a great rapport with the 2 owners (well, one of them), I think they underestimate me. They've even said things along the lines of, "Not feeling too sharp today, are you?" and "Are you sure you're not really blonde?" But it is my fault for not presenting myself as a competent employee. However, at all my other jobs, I'm seen as the capable, intelligent, innovative worker. I don't mean to brag, but I'm trying to point out the contrast.

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hi-jack your thread and turn this into a boss rant, but I think I sort of gave you an example of what you were looking for!

My brother that I grew up with, he was always trying to compete with me at everything, extremely jealous when I did something better. So my social problems and quirks were a target for him to break me down. It seems like everything I say or do he would make a comment about it, degrading me and insulting me, at home, in front of his friends whenever he got the chance. "You're stupid, you have such a poor memory, you're an idiot, you are such a loser" etc etc. You would think I would get used to it and it wouldn't bother me, but no that's not the case. --He's in prison now, for car theft, 3rd offense.

At school as well, getting bullied for the last 7 years of education. My social problems was always the target. Plus I basically refused to do homework and my grades were crap, another way to to strike at my apparent stupidity. People had me so convinced that I am stupid, I actually was less intelligent - lazy mind why bother trying? except for daydreaming. I didn't even trust my own thoughts. So I often pretend to be ignorant about a lot of things I'm aware of, and it isn't really intentional. Once I dropped out of school and my brother moved out, I was more socially isolated and was able to think to my self with nobody to hold me back. Basically living in my head, I'm not going to go into the details of that though.

I get insulted because of my problems with expressing my thoughts. I know the meaning of what I'm thinking but lack the words.
So i do alot of uuhs and ææhh before i finish a sentence. I know I'm not stupid just a little slow.

Why should people with AS get insulted for their intelligence? Don't they usually have above average IQs?

What is clear is that what occurs to me doesn't necessarily match up with other people and the same can be said about them. Either they don't *get* it, or I don't. And that is where the different wiring manifests the strongest and most apparent in day to day living. It's being consistently mis-understood and unknown to others.

Once, almost 4 years after I was diagnosed, and with her never shutting up about my AS, my mother told me that my AS was due to my brain being wired differently. No sh**! Then she said that she was telling me this so that I'd understand. Maybe she thought I'd been tuning her out all those years. I hope she thought that.


Another time my mother told me, not once, but two or three times, to make sure I was listening, after we left an Army surplus store, that that stuff in it was from the army.


And she said both these things in this authoritarian tone, as though she always knew but wanted me to know... which is why I'm pretty sure she thought I was WOEFULLY ignorant!

My 5th grade teacher told me to my face I was stupid.

She called me a liar when I told her my (germaphobic) mother wouldn't let me collect cans for the can drive and we didn't drink soda.

My 6th grade teacher disagreed and had me tested. I tested well, and got into a program for gifted students. My 5th grade teacher yelled at her in the middle of the playground in front of God and everybody for allowing it.

Always assume intellect. I always tell myself this when the automatons try to make me feel feeble.

my french teacher used to make me feel stupid. she used to tell the whole class about my bad handwriting & the fact that i held my pen wrong. she used to make me hold it "properly" knowing that my hand writing would be even worse that way. she would say that it was only worse as i was making it that way to spite her. she also used to make an issue of how bad i did on listening tests. i could hear the person talking but not be able to distinguish individual words & so had not chance at translating it! also the amount of interference on the tapes made it impossible for me to concentrate on what was being said anyway. in our year 10 exams she made a huge issue on how i had got an A* on reading & an E on listening, & told the whole class about the E but not the A*, then told me that i could only have done this to annoy her.

I have had far too many "you not that smart" attitude from relatives and strangers alike. One aunt of mine had a microwave that was a different brand than my father's microwave. I tried to cook something, but instead wound up messing up the clock time on it. Well, when a machine wasn't labeled correctly by the company that makes them, you have to practicaly be telepathic. My aunt decided to rant about how I couldn't use apliances, and how 'unedgucated' and 'untaught' I was.

No matter how many times I told her "It's really because it's a different kind of microwave" the wouldn't let me use it without her watching me. When I vacummed her rug later she clapped for me like I achieved something for the first time. (It pisses me off very bad when someone gives me tone correction BS, that I don't really diserve.) I said "good morning", lacking energy as I have just woke up from a nights slumber. She repeated "good morning" very slowly as if I was suppsed to 'learn' how to talk. My father shouted sometimes for saying "hi" in a tone that he didn't want it in. I'm aspie for gosh sakes!

My father doesn't tend to believe me either. It wouldn't matter if I was one of the top scolars in the world, I'm usualy wrong or 'vividly imagining' things.

Both of my parents seem to think I lack intellegance just because I got F grades back in gradeschool. 'sigh' Last, my last boss never watched what I did, and acted stupid himself because he was told I had Aspergers. He didn't notice what I did correctly, or what I got finished. He would blame me for just about any problem that happened while I was in the area, despite the fact that no one told me how to deal with it. Example: The oven's timer alarm went off, and he got all pouty at me for it. Right infront of several customers to. He's the one that was cooking the bread, not I. Not that anyone cared to tell me how the oven worked to start with. He had me step to one side, and refixed the sandwitch I was makeing (actualy correctly, mind you) and he went about it slowly like I'm mindless.

They kept me off the cash registar on purpose as if I would ruin the business. I was perfectly able to do it, and I have secretly because another manager in the evenings thought I was doing a good job, not a bad one. The registar in that place was so easy to use! It had little pictures of the sandwitch and drink sizes for gosh sakes! (gee, how complicated...*sarcasum)The wording was simple to understand. Taco Bell had a more complicated one for me, but this one was easy for me to get. Nope, I was an Aspie, therefore my usual boss thought I was basicaly stupid.. oh no wait "slow".

This was a discriminating boss who wasn't that fabulous at his job himself. When cucumbers look like snow because he doesn't want to listen to his employees for a month and a half, and he can't give us our pay check on time, but instead gives it one to two week late..... how is it my fault?

1 of my best friends is like me, and outdoor enthusiast, he even reads survival books and stuff, thats real cool, God knows if I had the time I would read more survival books as well. He knows what he is doing and im confident when I hike with him that he can contribute and take care of himself.

It would not matter what I brought up 1 night, and I think my personality is pretty consistent (at least when not at work, but on free time im always content). He claimed I would counter everything he said about anything.

We were talking about what to pack for a hiking/camping trip. I pack light (tho ill critisize myself to keep this balanced so I dont sound to bias: I packed 2 pillows and 2 blankets, totally a waste of space for the most part) but I had everything I needed including an emergency kit and alot of little stuff for starting fires, basicly I had everything I could need. He brings 100lbs worth of stuff, multyple pots and pans, food to feed multyple people (and as much as that can be a great benifit, its not when hiking miles into the woods). My point was, he brings wayyyyy too much, and id certainly be willing to admit my 2x blankets and pillows is excessive, that I can get rod of 1 of each and maby bring some extra stuff (tho I pack light because I can make due with very little, he brings much because he likes to be comfortable, to each their own.


I simply said as we would be hiking that he should lighten his load (he is not in shape like I am, and slows me down enough, let alone with a huge back, i dont like driving 180 miles to not hike 3 miles to our final destination simply because he cant handel his load). He told me basicly that I was stupid and that he needed all that stuff to be comfortable. I have more experience hiking, camping and mountain climbing, but because he always thinks hes right, he shot me down, most of the stuff he never uses, tho would be an advantage in a survival situation ill admit.

I can understand, to each their own, i had no problem with how he was going about it, its just that I dont think I should be shot down over a simple suggestion. He thinks he is smarter then everybody else, and trys to take charge, but while he knows more theory as far as all that then I do ill admit, i have more experience, and trying to hike with 100lbs worth of gear you dont need is not good. Just my thought, perhapse anybody would have a different opinion, just the most recent thing I could think of. Maby im not simply right and hes simply wrong, but damn, for a 3 mile hike why carry more then you can handel, its actually a survival detrmient, he said I was wrong.... I guess u guys can decide, hehe.

Note that I like him, hes my best friend, we see the world differently, and hes one of the few who knows I had HFA as a child, i trust him, but we dissagree, we argue, i have faults, so doesnt he and indeed their is much he knows that I dont, hes smart and im always willing to learn from him, i just feel sometimes hes not willing to learn from me because im on the spectrum er for whatever reason, i guess hes like that to others also.... ok ill stop typing now, sorry for the long post, hehe.