anyone with AS feel there is no real connection w/ parents?

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for those of you that don't feel a connection, do you think there is a correlation between how understanding and accepting your parents were of your AS and what your feelings for them are? (because as a parent a lot of your posts make me sad)

I think my mom would have hated me even if I had been NT. It doesn't matter how accepting she is now, I'll never forgive the past. Same with my dad, he didn't hate me but he sure neglected me. I doubt he made an attempt to feed me ten times a year in the 7 years I lived just with him.

But I think in my bf's case he gets along great with his mom because she's accepting of him, wheras his dad tries to hard to force him into "accepted social rules" which are different than what he needs to be happy. His mom also isn't quite cool with the unaccepted gender rules but she doesn't yell or criticise him for it.

Jaleb wrote;

Don't be sad.
Here's the difference;
You know your kids have AS and you come here to lean more and to share your experiences and theirs.
That would lead me to think that you accept that they are what they are and will work hard to help them adapt to the world and to accept themselves. That is VERY imporant and I can't stress it enough. They will appreciate that some day if not right now.
You should be applauded for making an honest effort here.

Mine and a lot of others parents didn't know. In many cases it's probably just as well that they didn't know. I only found out last October that I have AS and I'm not going to tell them now. They'd likely deny it or play it down. They'd be careful about how they word it but the meaning would be obvious. What good would it do now, anyway?

Thank you Raptor,

I feel a little better now

my parents had no idea I was AS or autistic. None, zip, ziltch, zero. How could I be when I was so smart? They assumed and told me endlessly that it was my stubborn nature and ego that was making me defy everything they ever wanted for me and my contrary behaviour had no other reason to make their life hell. So they retaliated by physical punishment, confining me to a place in the basement and having the school spank me when I 'violated' any rules or regulations.

When I escaped the mental instiution they had me committed to when I was 17, I only went back 37 years later to do an AA 9th step, and then I was outta there. They died never knowing I didn't do it on purpose.

I believe it took a lot of work on my part to establish the closeness my parents and I share today. I was not the easiest person to get along with when I was younger.

my mother said i never loved her and hated to be hugged when i was a kid so i guess i have no connection to my parents at all.