What is the difference between Men and Woman with AS

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Yes, just curious the difference exists between men-women, .. no one is better than the other, but I know what are you talking about cause I'm a woman myself in this case, ...

i think the girls that have it are probably more sociable, and it might be harder to detect.

I'm anti-social

Oh, I'm anti-social too -- I think it's more that girls are expected to be more sociable, and so we have to work harder at learning to fit in than the boys necessarily have to. If that makes any sense, which I doubt since it's nearly one in the morning and the froshies next door are obnoxious.

When I read about ASD's I often feel like the dx'd person being described sounds more like my NT boyfriend than me. It's a consequence of the stereotype (how accurate that is, time & research will tell) of ASD's as being the extreme "male" brain. Most couples that I know of (from reading about, I haven't met anyone else IRL) are comprised of a dx'd male & an "NT" female, which is the opposite of my situation. It's pretty confusing, one minute I'm on one side (empathizing or sympathizing with the role of female NT) & the next, I'm on the other side (that of the dx'd male) of the interaction. Sorta' like the "Mars/Venus" books-know they're not about ASD's, and I read one of them 15 yrs. ago-just an easy example to illustrate my point. I'm alternately logical & utilitarian (male stereotype) & irrationally emotional (female stereotype), so I don't fit either side/faction/role-and neither do my boyfriend, my ex-husband, or my best friend. I'm drawn to (and they are drawn to me) males who defy stereotypes, who have some "macho" traits but also plenty of "so-called feminine" qualities.

In some ways, my being female makes my ASD less severe bc. of my inherent biochemistry as a female (brain, hormones) & how I was raised/treated by peers, than if I had ASD but was a male. In other ways, it's harder being ASD as a female, bc. I defy expectations for my gender more than if I were male. Parts of me clash with other parts of me more (the ASD aspects that are considered more "male" & the aspects of me that are "NT" female), and create conflict with my own self: if I were male, maybe I'd be more in agreement with myself ?

So little has been studied about females w/ASD, rather than males w/ASD ! Just saying neither gender is assured to have an easier time of it in comparison to each other-there are plenty of areas in which to have difficulty, some more common for males & some more common for females. Tough sorting out which of these problems are caused or worsened by assumptions & reactions within society & culture, rather than part of the package of being neurologically atypical.

DD also fits the diagnosis, however I also disagree with the "Girls have a tendancy to be more accepted by their peers aka other females because females are more nurturing and understanding by nature."

I realize that everyone is different of course, but the typical female in my experience is absolutely NOT nurturing and understanding basically until they are well into their 20s!! As an NT, I never made many girlfriends. A lot of boyfriends, but just friends that happened to be boys. I found in high school that most girls were selfish, cruel creatures, and as a young girl with a very large chest and short stature I was very much a target. But I digress...

DD was ruthlessly teased when in elementary school. She was literally uncontrollable until DH finally hit upon the right combo of meds for her. But unfortunatley this was not until 5th or 6th grade, where the teasing had finally driven her to the point of having the ability to not show ANY feelings or responses at all. Now she is in high school, and from what I hear, it hasn't changed much. She doesn't get teased nearly as much, but now is having a hard time making friends because of the AS tendencies. And the girls treat her like a doormat. And it's heartbreaking to see because from her point of view, at least they are acknowledging her...

I've read somewhere that women with AS generally divide into two subcategories: a type of strong woman with intellectual interests and personality and hobbies resembling those of males (sticking to traditional male roles) and those ladies who are much more unassertive, shy and feminine than their peers (in childhood such girls are often strongly interested in fairy tales and horses - two interests most often asociated with little girls with Asperger's).

But it's too big simplification for me, it's looking at two extreme ends of spectrum of behaviour.

Hmm, I think these roles are too simple and general, because I feel like a combination of both of them. I was eager to get good grades and please my teachers, which would probably fit into the unassertive and shy category. However, no amount of teasing or discouragement was ever able to stop me from pursuing and obsessively discussing my computer, video game, and science interests. I also thought fairy tales and horses were really dull as a child.

I don't think I've ever met an aspie girl.
But then again perhaps it's what others have said - they are less detectable than aspie guys...

It's a big simplification and generalisation, of course. I have always heard that interests in princesses from tales and horses are one of the most common hobbies among little girls with AS whose interests are more rarely as well defined as in case of their male counterparts.

Anyway, I could never understood why girls like horses so much - as a child I was afraid of them a bit because my grandfather had a horse who tended to be rather agressive and I was often warned not to be too close because he could bite or kick me.

Thank God. At last the 'experts' are beginning to wake up.

I fitted all the descriptions of AS girls that people have given here. I went unnoticed, even though I was probably the brightest kid in the (mixed) class.

I don't agree though that girls are more accepting. That wasn't and isn't my experience. I was bullied by girls and am STILL bullied by women. My closest friends now are those who are very, very stable, very secure in themselves, very honest and straightforward, very intelligent NT women. They also take the time to understand me and, I feel, they somehow quietly look out for me. Not many women, no matter how 'maternal' or 'nurturing' they like to think they are actually, really like that.

I've once posted this article on the forum: http://www.boston.com/news/education/k_ ... e_made_of/

I don't know whether you have already read it. It says about girls with Asperger's.

Well that does sound like me. I still love horses and fairytales.

I am a female with aspergers and spent my childhood when very young feeling as though I were stuck in a box observing the confusing social world around me without understanding much what was going on, how it worked or how to interact with others. I was very withdrawn and barely spoke and when I did and thought I was interacting with others, they found me weird and odd and did not want to be around me. I was made fun of alot and bullied up until high school when that tapered off. Slowly over time from a teenager into adulthood I began to become more outgoing and talked to others much more until now at 32 yrs old can talk to anyone, anywhere about anything. I find I can relate to anyone but cannot often connect with others on any deeper level, especially other females. As an adult, I cannot relate to other women as far as their concerns, interests, hopes or desires at all. I've always felt more like a boy, very tomboyish and still relate much more easily to men. When interacting with females over time, I always seem to eventually evoke strong negative reactions in them no matter how hard I try to relate and make friends. Very frustrating.

HA! Guess I was asking to be p0wned on that. But really what I meant is that the person should know it.... they should know they are different. I can't claim to be professionally diagnosed.

I'm an anti-tomboy who prefers the company of tomboys and have always gravitated towards younger and older persons as a peer group. My peer group (man-guys) are unimpressive and well-deserved of their crude reputation.

So this is something this man and woman can claim in common.