living in facility ..has they got a rigth do do this?

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thanks noa:)...i will work out something for my meltdowns..what i need is a lot of testing what will workout best

Not on the inside of you, no...you can't stop them happening there...but you CAN control what you do on the outside...and you are going to have to, unless you want to waste your life in jails and institutions.

I am appalled that they are considering using restraint on a 17 year old...but I am also a bit unhappy with a 17 year old thinking it is ok to selectively punch staff members during a meltdown.

Neither is ok...

They should be teaching you to restrain your impulses, not hog tieing you...but if they will not teach you, you must teach yourself.

When they restrain you, they take away your human rights, but when you punch them, you take away theirs.

You cannot leave yet, so I suggest you make up your mind to be better than them.

Make up your mind that you will lead...and give them their human rights by not punching or hurting them, no matter what...then see if they can be as good as you...you can even explain what you are doing, say:

"You have a right not to be hurt or punched, I am going to respect that whatever, I have a right not to be trussed up like a chicken, let's see if you can respect my right too".

Then, in a year's time, you can leave, and sue them to kingdom come for abuse, which will give you a good start in life.

M

so i sould just go limb EVEN they are trying to restrain me? ...this is only what im thinking of this but i think i have right to defense my self if someone is trying to restrain me ...and i haven't tested that yet but they have a permission to restrain me if necessary..and i don't really think they are gonna just let me go even i would not hurt anybody...and in that permission the only reason for that are meltdowns so i can leave as soon i can get em under control..of course its hard for me but i got no another option

You tell them that even if they behave like animals to you, you will not allow them to teach you to behave like an animal any more.

Do not "go limp", try to submit graciously and with pride in your self restraint, and think of a special "mantra" to say, something like "I WILL treat you as an human being, whatever you do to me"...trust me, this will be a victory, NOT a surrender, and if if they do restrain you, they will feel like sh*t afterwards. Because as long as you behave like that, any time they restrain you they will KNOW you are better than them.

...and yeah, you REALLY do have to get the meltdowns under rigid control anyway, unless you have a "special interest" in prison food?

But when you do get out, SUE THEM...

M

I actually don't see anything morally wrong with fighting back when grabbed, especially in that kind of situation. It's a sign of a healthy survival instinct. In any other setting it'd be self-defense.

But I think it's best to avoid it where possible, for one's own sake. I have worked really hard on learning not to be violent, but one things that's helped a lot is getting out of places and situations where people are violent to me. I don't think there's anything immoral about believing it justified to fight back in situations like that (and there's a lot of subtle violence going on all the time that isn't picked up as much as the overt stuff -- if you haven't lived in that situation, you might be unaware of that), and I also don't think that conflicts at all with learning not to do it. I've learned to be less violent than the average person (because frankly, the average person would be extremely violent when grabbed like that or treated the way people are treated in these facilities) but I still don't condemn people as immoral for reacting to that kind of environment in that manner (or just about any other manner -- there are only a vanishingly small number of ways to react to that sort of place).

The places I was in, fighting back, going limp, or submitting, none of those made any difference at all. They still treated me just as crappy. One place even restrained me for not moving. They picked me up by my arms, and I stayed in a seated position even while they carried me that way to the restraint bed, then they were actually angry at me for not being able to move, and very harshly unbent me into the position that allowed them to tie me up. Tying someone up for not moving makes no sense to me except as what it was -- a power play.

How can it be considered selfdefence when the only reason they are touching you is because you are going about punching people? They are the ones engaging in selfdefense

It's self-defense when the punching comes after the grabbing.

It's also sometimes self-defense in other situations where what is being defended against is not as obvious to an outsider who believes the power situation to be equal, neutral, level, and benevolent, and also believes violence to all be immediately visible and physical.

And grabbing a person who is already in a near-survival-level state is something where people need to be prepared for a fight-flight instinct no matter who started it. Even if the other person started it, you can't expect them to react in any particular pleasant way when grabbed.

There's a reason that many people in those places tend to lash out at staff rather than other residents, and it's not because they just have it in for staff for no reason or because they're bad people or people who hate authority or whatever. I don't think it's the best thing to do from a survival standpoint, but I do find it very understandable.

And meltdowns do not always involve hitting people. Mine almost never do.

ah,fuck-i'm sorry

Not if she's done the same thing enough that they know the punching will come, and they are grabbing her in order to protect themselves from what has happened every other time before



It would be quite foolish for anyone to consider this an equal power situation. Just as foolish as it would to be considering a student in an equal power position as a teacher.



you can't expect them to not restrain her, when she has shown, and even admitted here that she intends to punch "selective members of staff" whenever in melt down. Something would be seriously wrong if they did not grab her during melt down. As for thr restraining board, thats one method of keeping the staff physically safe from her. Not knowing the facility, and what has been tried in the past, as well as what she does when she can't beat on the staff, I can't comment as to whether or not its the best. Perhaps they've already tried locking her in an isolation room and she ended up hurting herself when her access to staff members was taken away, or perhaps teh facility isn't equipped with a padded room that can be locked.



And meltdowns do not always involve hitting people. Mine almost never do.[/quote]

Don't forget that they aren't just grabbing her and strapping her down. They clearly told her, "If you hit us, we will do this." If she is grabbed, then its no ones fault but her own, because she was fully aware of the consequences of the actions she chooses to engage. She has even said she selects to hit. If she can do that, than she should have no trouble selecting not to hit anyone. If she does that, she will not be restrained. The responsibility for this matter lies with her




According to what Batista posted, her meltdowns always involve punching staff. Therefore the staff's reaction of restraing her in some form is not only expected, but necessary to keep their ownselves safe from her. I believe she said she's 17. That means she should be big enough that she could easily send staff to the hospital with her punches.

Proportionate force is everything [if either side wishes to hold the moral mountain].

I "meltdown" every other day so I can sympathize with you to some extent; I'm a "passive" individual rather than aggressive however. I agree, you cannot control how you act when you do such, inhibitions fly out the window; fight, flight and/or..."nothing".

I agree with anbuend concerning perspectives and what violence can equate to; staff constantly telling you to do things their way or...forced to do it their way will induce a massive amount of frustration within an autistic individual that will spill when in meltdown. Been there.

I'm very curious as to what the whole situation is, and would have to know that before I would judge any person living in any of that kind of facility for lashing out at the people who run it.

mm really?.....and yea im prison food fetish (joke)

im sorry but i cant write anymore today..it was long day..so u will need to wait tomorow until i have time to write answers:)

ya ..think a sidsuation to your self:/...i always see world slowdown a little when im in meltdown..i think its coz of adrealine rush:)

Don't forget that they aren't just grabbing her and strapping her down. They clearly told her, "If you hit us, we will do this." If she is grabbed, then its no ones fault but her own, because she was fully aware of the consequences of the actions she chooses to engage. She has even said she selects to hit. If she can do that, than she should have no trouble selecting not to hit anyone. If she does that, she will not be restrained. The responsibility for this matter lies with her




According to what Batista posted, her meltdowns always involve punching staff. Therefore the staff's reaction of restraing her in some form is not only expected, but necessary to keep their ownselves safe from her. I believe she said she's 17. That means she should be big enough that she could easily send staff to the hospital with her punches.[/quote]
ok.. so here is no any padded rooms only think what is paddet is my bed
2.i dont hit em unles they try grap me (which is almost always)
and i cant send em to hospital coz im only 60kg+im not so tall only about 157cm (dont remember it acually so i just think what i could be:) )
and ye im 17

i can control it in certain point:) and that point is when they try to restrain me...well i guess none of u would let em do it i control a first punch if needet but after that im in meltdown state