Gay and Aspie

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Interesting to see that bigotry isn't just an NT trait.

I suppose it must be comforting for some with AS to feel part of a 'mainstream' they are usually excluded from.

Quite why such people are prepared to tolerate, even in themselves, such a repellent trait seems illogical to me though.

Especially in light of the misunderstanding, discrimination or abuse many of us with AS claim to have suffered, and which few of us could at least be unaware of.

Chances are high that the research that you read about the causes of homosexuality and Aspergers/Autism is wrong. Homosexuality is believed to be a genetic trait, and many people are also beginning to believe the same about Aspergers/Autism.

Remember all of the 'research' that claimed that Autism was produced by prenatal and post natal exposure to mercury and other heavy metals, as well as the curebie industry of chelation therapy that really did nothing but make a few purveyors of this rich?

I'm gay (lesbian) and I have an Aspie son. It is absolutely possible to be on the spectrum and be gay. My very good friend is an Aspie and Bi. Sexuality is wired in our bodies before birth and it is just a part of who we are.

There is no definitive cause for homosexuality. There have been a number of theories, but there is currently no proof to back any of them up. There is some circumstantial evidence for a genetic basis, but again no "gay gene" has been found.

For those who said "gay" is a new trend. There have always been gay people. The only difference now is that the world is a little more accepting and we don't have to hide in the closet and fear for our jobs, safety and lives. The only trend here is a societal trend towards more acceptance.

I do think the gay community is more accepting of those who are "different." So those who said they feel accepted by the gay community, perhaps that's why.

And I don't think that anyone switches sides. Those that do were probably bisexual to begin with and just repressed their feelings. I think there are a number of women who are really bi, but because of societal pressure, identify as heterosexual.

I'm gay and i have AS. I also am a very manly gay guy. I have read studies that coincide to that homosexuality and autism may be linked. I was borne with a very systematic mind. I put many variables into consideration when i decided to come out as both. I had a very dominant mom, almost caustrating to the point, that when i started to date, i realized that my mom was my best friend, and our relationship pretty much became the matrix of how i was certain about my sexuality. I didn't ever think women were attractive, but i even weighed the option of trying to have an easier life. I really tried to date women, but couldn't, and i think i owe it all to my mom, my best friend.

There is a rather large Gay and Lesbian community among the AS community.

I don't see the sense in that, and it is certainly not true of me. Frankly, there is something about the voice, actions, idea, etc... I just HATE at the lowest level. Not all of them, but each individually. Ironically, the part about the actual homosexuality is probably the least grating, but I still don't like it.

The above wasn't meant as a threat, dissuasion, to be offensive, etc... They just are. And if you chose to believe, like many of your ilk do, that that is some kind of backward affection, etc... , so be it. That is certainly not the case though. BESIDES, there are some things some females do that I hate in the same way so such a thought would be contradictory anyway. ALSO, with most females that DO have those characteristics, they have other characteristics that work in the other way to cancel them out.

Saying something isn't offensive or threatening right after you say it doesn't change the fact that what you said was offensive and threatening.

No one on this board is saying you have to like homosexuality or even support it. It's just a fact of life and that's that. "like many of your ilk"? I assume you mean enlightened people with a point of view that disagrees with your own.

I have a feeling your trying to make a sweeping generalization about the gay community and lump everyone into the same type of person. The gay community is simply a smaller version of the straight community. There are all types of people who are gay and they certainly don't all act, look, or sound the same.

I'm really getting tired of all the subtle and not so subtle bigotry on these forums. Not just about gays, but about anyone who is different. You'd think our community (which is made up of lots of people who are different) would be more understanding about people who are different. I've been proven wrong over and over again.

Live and let live.

Sorry, I wasn't going to just shut up.



It isn't a point of view, it is FACT! Yet some homosexuals, and their friends, claim NOBODY can hate the idea and that people that claim to are, somehow, part of the group. I have no idea why I hate it so much, but I do. Still, I DID have a friend that was homosexual (He died of AIDS over 11 years ago.), and have had friends that had friends or siblings that were homosexual. I'm not going to be campaigning against it, etc...



I NEVER said that they were all the same, or even implied it. Quite the contrary. There IS a reason for don't ask/don't tell. Some are EASY to spot. Others you just can't.



Did I say I would, or anyone should, do anything against them? NOPE! As for "bigotry", the stupid attempt to brainwash through such dreck is WORSE!

Hatred is a strong emotion. You were not born with a hatred of homosexual behaviour. You manifested that hatred within your own thought processes and chose to imbue certain traits or people with certain emotional meanings (in this case, dislike or hate).

Motivations for such strong emotions are almost uniformly derived from reflective self-analysis or self-denial.

You are more than likely fearful of your own sexuality, or indeed bisexual or homosexual. Or have suffered either a chronic process, or deeply acute event, of significant enough negative emotional associations attached to homosexual behaviours. Consider these the 'motivating' factors.

In such instances the expression of homosexual behaviours by others is determined to be a threat to a person's own super-ego. The ego cannot easily accept or tolerate such behaviours because acceptance could be internalised to be perceived as undermining the whole aversion process that the mind has sought to develop in response to the 'motivating' factors. Indeed, the University of Phoenix did determine that the most homophobic individuals were actually repressed homosexuals, although such a saying has long existed anecdotally within society.

As to whether the influence of other people was a strong element in driving the 'motivating' factors and the emotional development of your prejudices, or whether they were entirely endogenous, only you would know.

But it is a fact that expressing such prejudices to other people will be seen as offensive by a proportion of them. In much the same way as if your prejudice reflected ethnic, racial or cultural behavioural intolerances.

2ukenkerl -

No need to start SHOUTING at anyone. I'm just trying to put a differing thought out there and provide some rational discourse.

No one wants you to "just shut up" but don't apologize and say something isn't offensive when it clearly is. It's basically the same argument you stated above. I hate homosexuality but it's okay because I have gay friends.

Your view is a point of view. It's not a fact, it's your opinion. I'm pointedly aware that many people HATE the idea of homosexuality. I've never really understood why someone would hate it so much. They're not asking you to participate in anything they do, are they? If they are, then you have a right to be upset.

I'm not sure of your reasoning about don't ask/don't tell. How is that relevant to the discussion? You're right that some gay people are obvious and some are not. Are you suggesting they should all be labeled somehow for easy identification?

I also don't understand how brainwashing comes into play here. Are you saying that because I'm trying to advocate compassion for anyone different, that I'm trying to brainwash you? Or are you saying that the homosexual population is trying to brainwash everyone into submission? I don't get it.

The dictionary defines bigotry as:

bigotry: The state of mind of a narrow-minded person who is intolerant of beliefs other than his or her own.

Sums it up pretty well, don't you think?

Shouting?



I said nothing of the sort. I merely spoke of how I know it is around me, and tolerate it.



When people say things, they say things. That is FACT, and can not be in dispute.

I don't understand the hatred either. It just IS. BTW I didn't even think such behaviour was possible and, though boys are taught not to act in a lot of those ways, such hatred wasn't taught to me.



NO, I was agreeing with your assertion that homesexuals aren't all easily spotted or necessarily the same. I stated that belief that anyone with half a brain felt that way was just WRONG! I never suggested labelling! HEY, I may still have a dymo labelmaker!



The idea that one can't stated their dislike for something out of fear of accusation that they are a part of it IS a type of brainwashing.



Sums what up? I'm not narrow minded, that isn't a belief. Some might question as to what being intolerant means. I certainly tolerate it, even if I hate it.

WOW, do you write horoscopes? This post sounds like one!



SEE GUYS! THIS is the kind of dreck I was speaking of! Sorry, but seeing females suddenly sometimes STILL catches me off guard, and I get excited. I have NEVER been that way about males, and used to ALWAYS be that way about females. So your whole theory is hogwash. And you can say what you said a trillion times, and it just makes me feel all the worse about homosexuality and its supporters.

BTW THINK about it for a minute. Just one minute. I could come up with a really odd name with NO ties to me, use a foreign proxy, change my writing style. I could even use likely mispellings. Obviously, a lot of people here support it. Does it make sense I would lie about this? HECK, I have posted enough here and agreed with enough problems here, etc... that everyone must have figured out I am not a troll and not looking to stroke my ego or laugh at you. Yet I still get the same old dreck! I can still predict what you guys will do!

WOW!

My whole 'theory' is not "hogwash" based on the claim that you inadvertantly see women and become aroused. Your reasoning is insufficient in light of the issues that trouble you and your manifestations of hatred.

Perhaps a more familiar approach would be to simply ask why you think you feel the way you do about homosexuality? How do you think you may have come to manifest such issues and prejudices? What exogenous or endogenous processes do you think had the greatest formative influence? You may wish to consider some of the other issues I raised in my previous post too.

I also notice that your language has become somewhat florid and expressive, which would to me seem indicative of emotional unrest. But please bare in mind you do not need to feel threatened by the questions being posed to you. I am not trying to rile you. I am just interested to see how your brain came to be where it is now, in regards to your sexuality issues and your hatred of homosexuals.

I am not sure what or who your third paragraph is referring to in the context of my post to you.

Just to clarify my last post. When I said you were SHOUTING, I was referring to you using all CAPS. That's referred to as shouting on the internet or in emails.

Believe me when I say that I'm in no way trying to sway you or change your mind about it. I'm just trying to have a conversation at this point. You can have any opinion you want as long as you're not trying to repress anyone. It's how I feel about anyone's opinions. As long as you keep them to yourself, you're fine. The second you make that opinion public, you had best be prepared to be challenged even if you think you're right. Or better yet, even if you ARE right. There will always be a different and, most likely, opposing viewpoint to your own.

Regarding the post about people who are anti-gay are secretly gay and hating themselves, there is some truth to that in certain cases. Just look at any number of republican officials who have been caught in gay scandal. All of them are vehemently anti-gay and they themselves are secretly doing gay stuff. It happens. I don't think EVERYONE who is anti-gay is secretly gay but it can happen.

This will be the last time I post on this thread because I think this thread has devolved from it's original intention. You can be gay and aspie and it's been shown here on the forum. End of my part of the discussion on it.

WOW, what beautiful reasoning! (sarc) My reasoning that you theory is wrong because it is wrong is wrong because it doesn't agree with your belief. Quit your day job, and become a lawyer(I'd like to see you go broke).

FLORID? EXPRESSIVE? Heck no! I've been more expressive, but I don't see it here.

As for the republicans, I have YET to hear of a single republican that was proven secretly gay. They ALL were found out because they, in the national public eye, etc... expressed their hatred, etc... because they were running as REPUBLICANS! In forums like this, under psuedonyms, they were generally HOMOSEXUAL or pedophiles. Why? Because that is what they were, and they wanted to fulfill those desires. So they DO confirm my statements but not yours.

I guess my disdain for Christianity means I love it, as is, and the fact I have never had a papsmear means I'm female, huh? Oh yeah, all whites that hate blacks are black! WOW, your theories answer all of lifes problems. I guess all those that hate death are dead.

You guys really do crack me up. I notice you post SO close together, and joined SO close together and have such similar views. It is suspicious to say the least.

Your not bothering to actually engage with or answer any of the questions I posed, or seriously discuss or challenge any of the issues raised, suggests your only motivation for posting in this thread is to rather immaturely cause trouble and vent your issues and frustrations onto other people.

I suppose the enlightened position would be to hope that, regardless, such interactions help you with your issues. I rather doubt that would be the case though