Post your opinion of AS Partners...

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Can anyone get page 2 of this thread to load?

I didn't notice the ads either. I think I was too traumatized after reading how one person said that if their husband was confined to a wheelchair she would find a way to work around that, although she would miss things like dancing and then another person posted a reply saying that AS is a different situation because her Aspie husband can walk.

Almost nausiating.

Oh -
What is DH?

DH = Dear husband or darling husband. Often used sarcasticly.

BeeBee

Edited to add: I just glanced at the site and decided it had too little wheat in with the scaf to keep my interest. I don't know if they use DH sarcasticly or straight. Given the nature of the board, probably both, differently by different posters.

Does DH stand for Damn Husband? Dermatitis Herpetiformis?

Here's the quote I was looking for:

Silly me.
That's what I get for working 16 hours with no break.
Brain not working quite right.
That sounds hurtful - Dear Husband
Are they trying to hurt husbands in general?
I wonder if the husbands ever read the site. I can't imagine it would feel good, but then for my own life, I can't imagine that it would feel bad. If someone made an untrue comment about me, I would ignore it. If it were true, why should I get upset?
I guess a response like that would be frustrating for NTs. But if so, why marry an ND? Is the money that important? Are these women that short sighted?

If the AS partners came in there every now and then to blow off steam after being around their AS husband during a meltdown, then that may be understandable, but for them to go in there every day and b*tch, that, to me, seems to have no positive effect on either the AS husband nor his BW. It is very difficult being the companion to an AS, but I care about him and want to understand how I need to function around him that is beneficial to him and me. There is a lot that I get out of the relationship, too. I'm not as bored as I used to be and I am exposed to learning and experiencing some fascinating things that I wouldn't with anyone else. He challenges me intellectually, therefore that, to me, is an acknowledgement that I have enough intellegence to be challenged in that way.

When he has a meltdown, it is traumatizing to me and I think the effect may be worse than some of those women because I have the symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome. I am learning how to deal with the meltdown situations, because I want to help him have a better quality of life. The world is the beneficiary of the magnificent music that he will share. What would this world have been like without Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, or anyone else that has contributed things of value to us. Sure, he may be difficult, self-centered, demanding, and critical, but the benefits far outway the difficulties, which is why I can't see any good reason to carry on like the BWs on that other site.

I can't say what I think. That sort of language isn't allowed on this forum.
Why do these people stay with their partners if they dislike them so much?

*clenches teeth tightly* Ooh and you just have to love the thread created by an NT with an AS fiance: of course, she must have said yes BEFORE she came to the group and started asking if she should! Needless to say everyone giving the 'omg get out as fast as you can it's like marrying a child that will never grow up' bs. Where do these people get off like that?! *is furious* One had the nerve to send up her husband saying her 1 and a half year old child was better! AAAAAAAAAAARGH I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKE THIS! Either it is a severe disability and a bit of empathy instead of the 'OMG RUN' stuff would be nice! Or it's just a difference SO STOP JUDGING!! !

Right... I'm off to make a pissed off post!

Unfortunately the posts get screened. Glad we don't have that kind of dictatorship here!

My post to Delphi:

You people absolutely disgust me. After browsing through a few of the threads in here, including the one where a woman asked for advice about her AS fiance and got told to run as fast as she could, including insults such as 'it's like being married to a child who will never grow up', 'my 1 year old is more mature' etc, I must say I am shocked to the core.

For those of your who aren't merely whinging fish wives, may I point out that Asperger's Syndrome is often accompanied with high IQ? Let me elaborate: this means that your husbands are not stupid, but rather that they have a unique way of processing the world. For the woman who suggested that a good response to an AS husband not thinking to cook dinner for his sick wife would be to slap him, where do you get off? He is clearly used to the routine of his wife doing the cooking! Duh! It's not difficult to comprehend, I know that most of you can't understand what it's like to be an Aspie, but there are a few fundamental things that you could do to make life a helluvalot easier for everyone. In this instance, I can't help but think that all you would have had to do would be ASK your husband to cook you dinner! You can't blame someone for not doing something when you didn't even ask!

Aspies just don't DO the mind-reading thing, so if you want something done, you're going to have to get off your butt and ask! And believe me, if you can learn to embrace this, not only will you burn up those unwanted calories by exercising your vocal chords, but you will most likely find yourself with the most loyal, honest, devoted person to ever walk the planet. Honestly, if I were given the choice between an absent-minded partner who needs to have things explained to them and between the perfect partner to my face who then runs off and backstabs me to her online friends... hmm, tough choice!

I'm sorry, I just can't believe you guys... I know it's hard, of course I do. I am a 19 year old female Aspie. It's BLOODY hard for EVERYONE involved. Now, let's think for a minute. I have Aspergers. One of the most common issues with Aspergers is a lack of empathy, as well as egocentricity. Considering that despite having AS and being only 19 I can see that life must be very difficult for NT's who live with and relate to Aspies, I am thoroughly disgusted that you NT's, people who apparently understand how relationships work, people who are supposed to have all the empathy crap together, can somehow manage to forget that anyone other than you might have issues.

Ever thought about things from the point of view of an Aspie? There is a reason why we get the title 'disabled'! Don't you think it's hard enough for us to relate to people who don't know about AS, let alone people like yourselves, people who are SUPPOSED to be supportive of us, but instead just go and talk behind our backs? It makes me sick...

Quit doing the things you accuse us of doing. Quit bitching like schoolgirls. Quit thinking only about yourselves. And might I suggest, if you have a problem with something that your AS partner is doing, try TALKING with them about it? Just because we don't exhibit emotions in the same way DOES NOT mean that we don't have them. We are NOT immature children. Where we do misunderstand or have things go over our head, try to remember this instead of acting like gossipy teenagers yourselves!

Aaagh!

Ok, end rant. Feel free to continue whinging to your hearts content: I have said what I needed to say. However, for ANYONE in here that genuinely loves someone with AS and genuinely is feeling at the end of their tether in trying to understand and relate to them, there are better places to look for help. Drop me a line and I would be more than happy to try and help you out. And if I could give you one piece of advice: if you have a problem and you actually want to fix it, for goodness sakes, TELL THEM! They won't read your minds. Be blunt. For example, 'I am sick. I can't cook because I have been throwing up. I am feeling hurt that you haven't made me dinner. Please cook me (insert what you want to eat here, bearing in mind that if your AS husband isn't familiar with the kitchen, he will need explicit instructions).' Oh, and if you can't handle having to give instructions when you are sick, how about you take a bit of responsibility for YOUR part in this? If you want an AS husband who cooks when you are sick, teach him to cook when you are well! If you do that, it will be part of his routine: you could even find that he enjoys cooking regularly!

You would think that between all you high and mighty NT's, SOMEONE would have the brains to realise that hitting an Aspie for not getting the innuendo is a bit dicky... *rolls eyes*

Hahaha!! Brilliant Kitten, as usual!! great post, even tho it won't get on

Ah sigh, what can ya do? I got it off my chest, that's what counts!