Coming Out of The Closet With Autism/Asperger's Syndrome

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I'm not officially diagnosed. My son is. I've always taught him that it's okay to march to your own drummer, and so he's got an abnormal amount of self esteem about being a weird kid. And we have lots of friends that have sensory issues and love us anyway, so I've surrounded him with a pretty supportive network of people. After we got his official AS head tattooo, some things that happened in our lives made me realise that this was prolly a good diagnosis for me as well. After all, I've always said he's weird just like me.

My mother really freaked out at first that I was going to go through getting the diagnosis for my son. Once I explained it to her, she said that's the way you always were too. Something in her brain shifted once she figured out that there was a word for me that wasn't just weird. She's taken to telling my brother (who I never see or talk to) who feels the need to constantly complain about how weird I am, that at least there's a basis for being weird (and they make meds for it). There's no cure for being an a**hole.

I think that's pretty funny. Of course, it prolly helps that my son and I are pretty open about it. Things like, "Well, that was an Asperger's moment" often come out of our mouths. I also work with kids with disabilities, I have a special fondness for my autie kids and it's helpful sometimes for them to understand that I know what it's long to never fit in and never be in the same place as every one else. I give a lot of lectures to groups and when I give the autism/as lecture I always tell them that I'm SD/WUST...self-diagnosed/Weirdo UnSpecified Type.

My husband always says that I'm not nearly as weird as my son, so maybe I don't have it. But I think he's just more tolerant of my weirdness because he gets lucky on a fairly regular basis. My son doesn't really hold any incentive for tolerance for him except to keep me from throwing sharp objects at him when he's insulting about it. My family in general has always called me the weird sister, so it's become one more part of being accepting of me.

Friends are mostly okay with it. I recently went to my 20th high school reunion where one classmate had mentioned to another that I also had a son who had been recently diagnosed on the spectrum. She came to ask me about it, and she asked the typical NT mom question, "What do you think caused your son's autism?" I think it really took her by surprise when I said, "Me!" I have it as well. She said, "Oh, no you don't". I told her to go and look it up and think about me and she would figure it out. She emailed me some time later and said, "Wow, I didn't know there was a scientific name for you, you weirdo." I laughed.
Most people think of autism as only the low functioning/hands flapping on chest/rocking kind. They don't really associate HFA and AS with autism. So, I just try to educate people. It's a little easier to put up with my weirdity when you understand that there's a reality behind it that has some scientific merit. I often tell people that my brain was so busy looking at all the connections that my little dendrites were making when I was little, that it forgot that it was supposed to be shutting down the ones that didn't really apply. My brain couldn't make the decision because they all seemed so important. So, all my little sensory connectors stayed open and I get overstimulated really easily as a result. When people understand that the biggest chunk of autism is really about the sensory stuff, it makes more sense to them.

I've told my husband, but so far that's it. It was hard to do, but he took it well. It really does feel like "coming out of the closet", glad I'm not the only one who sees it this way. I plan to also tell my mother........ someday.

I was 30 before the diagnosis even existed. It was, in fact, my mother who told me I was probably Aspie. And my wife who confirmed it.

Most of my best friends don't even know. We get along anyway, so there's no need for me to tell them. Most of those I have told (including my girlfriend) have been quite accepting and have not given it another thought, though some have treated me slightly different. It doesn't bother me much though.