have u ever being holdet?

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It is good to hear things are getting a little better, i hope you can get out of there soon.
Have you actually told a worker about being restrained so much or have they seen it? If not they may not know, some people really are that blind to what is going on around them.

As for myself i have only been restrained on the way to school when i was seven to twelve or so. I used to hate school, i would jump out of cars,hide,run away, all types of stuff. Aside from that i don't think anything has ever caused me to freak out or have a meltdown. I doubt i could make enough noise or commotion to be noticed at a funeral these days, even if i tried.

That's at least some good news, batista90. I too hope you can leave there soon. The place sounds nasty.

Restraining, even to prevent harm to oneself or another, just remains horrible to my mind. I know I freak out totally when someone is holding me down. It's not helping me in my meltdowns either.

When I was a child and teen I was held down in meltdowns by my family or other people too. Mostly for running away (when I had meltdowns, I always tried to run). It was horrible and I would not calm down until they stopped holding me down. They stopped trying after almost 2 years, fortunately.

I used to be held down a lot as a young child, I think it's a really old method to deal with ADHD. Then again, I was once the definition of a temper tantrum, also known as a meltdown to most. It's probably part of the reason I don't like hugs, yet find them to be relaxing at the same time.