AS as Form of Narcissism

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This discussion really got me thinking about it... I seem like a typical Aspie now, but I can remember a time when I was probably narcissistic as well. I had a very abusive home, and my lack of social skills made school just as bad.. the constant negativity created an almost pathological need for the positive attentions of others, despite the fact that I preferred to be a loner (it sounds like a contradiction in terms, but actually wasn't). I would use my intelligence to try and impress everyone, which it generally did for awhile.... but then people would tire with my endless egotistical behavior. I would lie and manipulate those who I thought were less intelligent and would fall for it, which at first I was horrible at, but practice makes perfect, and I became good enough at it eventually. Still my Aspie-ness made controlling social situations problematic, and so I usually restricted this behavior to people less intelligent or to online activity where poor social skills and body language abilities were less apparent. Of course I didn't know I was an Aspie at the time, but I knew I wasn't going to win anyone over with my social skills.

I slowly returned to "normal" over the years I guess. Controlling people actually sucks. It takes too much effort and you don't really get anything out of it in the end. These days I'm like many of you on this board... I absolutely WILL NOT accept people controlling me... but neither do I have any particular desire to control them. I'd prefer that most people just leave me alone.

Seriously though, I had to really think about this. After seeing this post I read up on NPD and realized how much it sounds like how I used to be. Even now, I seem to carry a few of those traits with me, though not to anywhere near the degree I used to. I'd like to think that the fact I can look back objectively and analyze this is a sign I'm done with this phase of my life... but I guess I don't really know. In retrospect I feel sorry for those who I wronged.

It's my thought that there is some relationship between AS and NPD... maybe Aspies gone bad wind up a lot like someone with NPD, but Aspies never driven to that sort of thing show no signs of it?

so if they got together, the narc would bully the as?

could the narcs. be bipolar?

I'm pretty sure my ex-girlfriend, and her mother, both have NPD. They are such a pain in the butt to deal with. They lie to you, use you, disrespect you, blame you for everything, and verbally abuse you, yet they can't see that they did anything wrong.

Like everybody else said, I think the problem stems from early childhood abuse/neglect and/or genetics. I think NPD is a strong defensive mechanism to protect deep down pain and shame caused by this. They weren't loved, so they don't know how to love other people, and they love themselves to make up for it. You can easily upset them...then before you know it, they go into a RAGE and verbally attack you to protect themselves.

Aspie people are capable of caring, but have trouble showing it.

The narcissist learns nothing because he regards himself as born perfect. Even when he fails a thousand times, the narcissist still feels the victim of happenstance.
Taken from the site linked in by nominalist.

If the narcissist allows himself to believe he is in fact imperfect - he must face his own inner reality - this can be too much for a narcissist to cope with.

Narcissism and aspergers are separate and different.
Aspergers you are born with - narcissism is a disordered personality that develops for a variety of reasons.

Narcissitists are deemed to have very low self esteem on a subconscious level - in order to cope with this, they take on a delusion of grandeur. They are eloquent and they know how to charm.
Narcissism is a coping method - - for feelings of inferiority.

I guess I can see how having undiagnosed aspergers could lead to narcissistic traits. The person with aspergers may be very gifted academically, but fail socially.
A small dose of narcissism is okay as a coping method - when it becomes pathological, it becomes a personalilty disorder.

It's a sad and difficult condition to treat.