At what age did you give up trying to attract men/women?

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I'm trying to convince myself to give up. Women are not attracted to me, I have no clue of how to go about it, and there are things I'm just not willing to do (I'm not going to do a cocky-funny routine, I'm not going to pretend I'm someone I'm not, I'm not going to put up with mind games - I would lose respect for myself if I did these things). In the past year or so I have met a grand total of one single woman, and she's not looking.

Socialising increasingly seems more trouble than it's worth.

Either that or you don't want to admit to yourself that you are incapable of attracting women even if you tried.

I never began trying. I don't intend to ever begin trying.

well if by try you mean putting on a fake persona and having a woman fall for a person that isn't you.

I agree with him. Whats the point in tricking the girl into liking you?

I think some might say "one night stands."

I am incapable of attracting women if I tried and there are things I'm not willing to do, neither for relationships, sex, friendship, etc. One-night stands wouldn't be worth doing these things, either, I'd rather use my hand or pay for it than put on the necessary act.

i'm starting to embrace mine again. i just came out of a 5 year dry spell and i've never felt better or more confident. a big help is dating older women. not like THAT MUCH older, by about 5 years or so. i'm seeing a girl in her late 20's right now, it's very low maintenance with a low level of BS. if she decides to end it, that's cool and i hope we can stay friends. when you're young you're not supposed to think about stuff like getting married. wait until your 30's for that.

and don't look for a "soulmate" cause you're afraid of "dying alone". look for someone you can tolerate and live with day to day.

I stopped trying around the age of 22.

You sound just like me

Romance is a trap, I was happier when it was inconcievable to me that it could ever happen. And now this little drama opens up in my life again and I just want to focus elsewhere.
I never really tried I guess...

I haven't started ....... yet. I have some hope that I may find the right woman at some point but at the moment I have more important things to worry about. I remember deciding when I was 12 that I would be celibate because I didn't understand people, then I discovered sex. I don't want to use women for sex so unless they like me for who I am then they are not worth bothering with.

I wonder whats everyone so worked up about.

Be yourself...

In my 30's.

My ex, who I had been "with" (long story!! !) on & off for 10 years, had left town; I had put on 2 stone in weight, & was later diagnosed with an underactive thyroid.

I never lost the weight, and now I just assume that there is no-one I am attracted to who would want to be with someone as (a) fat (b) weird & (c) old as me.

Besides, if I cared about a guy, I wouldn't want to condemn him into being stuck with me anyway.

Not only could I not give him children (too old to risk it now, & I don't think I could cope anyhow), I'd probably just make his life hell!

Last edited by shopaholic on 20 Nov 2007, 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's sort of how I feel. Theoretically there's probably someone out there for us though. Meeting them somehow is the trick...

Not long before my 17th birthday I posted on message board about how concerned I was that I'd never had a boyfriend. A guy on there advised me to stop looking for it, so I did. A few weeks later I was asked out by this guy, and when that didn't work out, in March the guy I was madly in love with asked me out. That was in 2002 and we're still together.

It was probably just a coincidence. But maybe I lost that look of desperation that I no doubt gave off.

Maybe this isn't fair, since I'm only seeing it from my perspective, but it seems like for a variety of reasons it would be easier for a woman, particularly since men are usually supposed to ask out woman. Of course I think people have said that's it's hard for them to actually find someone who's a NICE person...