How do I stop replaying negative memories in my head?

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I am having this very problem...I am suffering from guilt over something comparatively small (in the great scheme of things) that I did over 6 years ago....somehow it managed to dreg itsself up...and um...I bloody can't stop thinking about it....

I have done worse things that have not haunted me as much...so i don't know why this stupid thing does....

I tell myself that people do far worse all over the world every day....and I have forgiven people who have done far worse than this to me....so why can't I forgive myself?....

but somehow the message does not seem to sink in.....

I suck.....

At least it is not just me, anyway. There is some useful stuff on here. One that works for me is the journal. When you feel a bad memory coming round, or a thought that just will not leave, writing it down, releasing it, makes more space in your head. Well, it does in my head. I feel better after I have written 9 pages in my journal, almost peaceful. As soon as something else comes in, write it down. My friend suggested it to me, and it works. Like everything that bothers you, you need to find the one practise that works for you, just going by theory will not help you.

I was thinking about this today and recalling the thoughts that ran through my head in childhood (like 20 years back I still know what I was thinking).

You response was brief and it caused me to think "what if she meant..."

Well, I see that I can't find the words to explain so I'll senario:

If someone else tells you you should forget, no matter how trivial or enormous the topic at hand. How do you make your self forget something that you've experienced-AFTER someone locks it to your perception by saying so?

If you think about it, in this aspect of the world most things would likely fade if our attention was not relocked on them.

In that case, if the case, where you are to forget not because it would be a natural thing for you to do but that a secondary outside source has attempted to tell you what your brain should do- I don't know. That is usually when I remember the best.

(sorry if off topic)

oh boy do I have that.. My earliest memory (about age 3) is getting in trouble.

What I've done (with varying degrees of success), is to imagine the same thing happening to someone else, objectifying it if you will. How bad would it be if someone else did it (thought it, or whatever)

Another thing is (and how trite this sounds) is to forgive yourself. Frankly (don't mean to sound mean) but some of this stuff that happened, you (and I) are the only ones who even remember it!



Another thing is to just look at it as a lesson learned (yeah, I @#$'d up, but I know I won't do that again).

It doesn't always work; I have some things I still get morose about. But with time, they fade in intensity. Don't know if this helps, but hope it did

I must admit I thought I was the only one who did this. I replay everything in my head over and over again. I don't know how to shut it off. And yes people always tell me don't think about it but its not simple. Sometimes the memories are so vivid they make me cry or make me as anger as the first time it happen. It can be frustrating to deal with and it sometimes ruin my whole day. I wish I knew how to turn it off.

You have to ask your mind to do something else entirely. Fighting off the bad thoughts actually does work.

Decide for yourself what to think about and how you want to go about thinking about it.

As Siuan mentioned, this could be a symptom of PTSD and not just OCD. I had something similar for a while - I called the memories 'ghosts' because it was like being haunted. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to polute someone else's mind with the same parasitic thoughts that were driving me nuts. The only thing that finally helped (this was at the point where I was thinking about the unwanted memories probably 70-80% of the time) was finding someone who had similar experiences to talk to, because my talking to them wouldn't damage them any worse than they already were damaged.

Talking was like opening the door to my head and letting the ghosts fly out. It might not help everyone, or help in every situation, but it was sanity-saving for me. Now I can look back on the memories when I need to, but not be controlled by them.

Unlike some others, I do not think what you are going through has a psychological explanation. I get the same way when I am in a meltdown. Basically random selections from the worst memories of the past will come to the fore to torment me. In many instances it is impossible to find any environmental triggers for such events. They come and they go it seems entirely on their own volition. It could be that the part of the brain which stores and processes such memories (probably the more 'primitive' areas) periodically malfunctions and instead of keeping them in deep storage, forces the aspie/autie to relive the experience. It is similar to schizophrenia; except that voices are not heard, it is the gut wrenching memories that intrude. The term that has been coined is "running mind"; or at least this is my definition of running mind.

Getting good quality sleep is perhaps the best way to stop the mind from going through these endless loops. When I sleep well the running mind problem does not occur or if it happens the effects are mild and within conscious control. There is a thread I started on melatonin which you can find by doing a search. I have found that taking 1-2 mg of melatonin pushes me in REM sleep consistently and that helps to forestall the problem. Calisthenics have also helped and meditation may also be useful.

I have the same problem. Talking about it makes it worse because it amplifies the memory. Writing about it is not as bad as talking but is still counter-productive. Distracting myself doesn't work. Interspersing the memory with random humour doesn't work. Imagining what I wish had happened makes me feel worse about what did happen and agonise about what a total loser I am for not thinking of it at the time. Any alternative solutions would be appreciated - these memories sometimes completely hijack my life.

This is my problem at the moment... and it's just a build up of everything.

Thanks millions for the thread, Mw99. This is very useful.

Thank you Remnant, I think I’ll try that. I’ve also tried Issa’s idea before and found it's not bad. Thanks also to BlueMax’s ingenious idea: