AS books that brainwash.. have they brainwashed you?

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The DSM-IV and DSM-IV-TR are not the best diagnostic instruments out there. The ones currently considered the most accurate are the ADOS (Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule) and the ADI-R (Autism Diagnostic Interview, Revised). And those are the ones often used by researchers, because they are more detailed and precise.

And, again, those tell you how to spot who's autistic, they don't really tell you what autism is, just what it looks like outwardly.

Never heard of those, thanks. I assume it uses the same standards, just in a different format. Going through the DSM-IV-TR, point by point with a professional who knows your history is obviously accurate; I assume they don't differ much compared to this.

It appears to be applied in practice, much like how the DSM-IV-TR is supposed to be.

anbuend, you know, I've been trying to put thought into my own thoughts/feeling when I display the external symptoms of autism, I really have none other than "nothing" and pain.

I.e., I refrain from talking to people in a social setting due to the simple fact that I cannot do it; there's a void in my mind. I search my mind for words, and I sometimes talk to people within my mind (I did this a lot when I was younger), but nothing can break through the walls that are within (nor can I really find anything to talk about). I cannot explain the overwhelming mental discomfort I feel in the presence of people either, said discomfort manifests in external symptoms; it hurts when I look at people, it hurts when I hear people; so I remove myself from them. If I stand in their presence, I then rock, shake, flap, pick, punch stuff, hit my head on stuff and whatnot once I've removed myself from their presence. When in their presence I hide within myself, hide from them and the pain they cause me.

It's still more interesting to me to know why we do things (and the things we do having a reason doesn't have to mean we understand that reason, often it's taking place in areas of the brain other than conscious thought), rather than what we do. I already know what we do.