Post the most insulting/ condescending/ patronizing thing...

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MONKEY
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08 Mar 2012, 6:16 pm

Me and my friend at school went on strike for being patronised by teachers (we skived off a lesson) when a teacher found us we joked about being the "spazmos" and crazy people of the school and she said, "nah, you're just extra special!"
I could have punched her right there and then.


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Fnord
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08 Mar 2012, 6:21 pm

"You can't have AS because you don't play with fire, torture helpless animals, or wet the bed." -- My former GP.



rabbitears
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08 Mar 2012, 6:28 pm

MONKEY wrote:
Me and my friend at school went on strike for being patronised by teachers (we skived off a lesson) when a teacher found us we joked about being the "spazmos" and crazy people of the school and she said, "nah, you're just extra special!"
I could have punched her right there and then.


I think I would have. Even if she was a 90 year old woman with osteoporosis and arthritic knees.


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rabbitears
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08 Mar 2012, 6:30 pm

I would post my brother but it's quite hard to do that.

He says things like "all autistic people do this and are like this and need to be treated like this, and he once said that someone couldn't have been autistic "because autistic people don't like loud noises", as this guy listened to lots of loud music.

And when that autistic dancer boy appeared on Britain's Got Talent a few months ago, I said they shouldn't have made such a big deal out of the fact he has autism, just to get sympathy votes, and it wasn't fair on him as they should have judged him by his talent alone, my brother was like "Why not? That boy obviously lives to just dance. He can only be happy when he dances as he has nothing else." And then he just came out with a load of cliché BS like he usually does and prejudged and stereotyped everyone with an ASD.

He thinks he knows everything about autism because he has read some things in books (he works with people with learning disabilities etc and some of them are severely autistic) but he doesn't see it right in front of him. :roll:

And he just generally talks down at me and treats me like a ret*d, even when he's being nice to me, he treats me like I have the mental age of a poisoned foetus. I've given up with him now after an argument last month. I don't need him and don't miss him.


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Coyotesheaven
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09 Mar 2017, 12:50 am

Oh god. So many examples from my life.

Most examples revolve around me receiving treatment as an incompetent child would. You know how parents talk to infants, with the inflection at the end of every sentence, the slow pronunciation of words, the use of a 'cuteness' lexicon, and referring to them with cutie and hun and sweetie and the like? That's how 75% or more of people communicate to me.

Not to mention I am a fascination to people, sometimes even a fixation, in terms of how I perform and go about the world. Maybe it's because of the fact that I look young, act socially different, yet seem to be so intelligent; they treat me as if I were prodigy material and am heroic to them in some way.
People also act adored around me and seem to only want to converse with me because I look innocent (and therefore possibly dumb). Perhaps I represent someone they can supposedly trust as an outlet for venting frustration or bad actions on their part, or confide within me their secrets, because I won't understand (hell as yea I will and I will end them with those shared secrets).
This has occurred with to many college professors, other students, and even close friends.

Whatever it is, I have seen over half of my friendships really become a situation of mild exploitation on part of my differences in this manner, and I don't see true friendship in them anymore. It is beyond awful when one's human being-ness becomes a fetish for someone else.



Tawaki
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09 Mar 2017, 12:22 pm

Told to me (NT spouse) about ASD husband

GP 1: Your husband is the strangest person I have ever met. Mind you, this doctor worked at the state forensic psychiatric hospital that handled criminally insane prisoners. Fabulous!

GP 2: You'd lose 80 pounds of stress weight if you would divorce him.

Pediatrician: Who's your kid's real father? She's too well adjusted to he his.

ER doctor 1: What's he on? The drug urine test came back clean. We are doing a blood screen because his affect is totally off. He looks high.

Neurologist: He's too old to have Aspergers. He just has OCD and narcissism.

Numerous people: Why does he always look stoned? Why does he stumble around? Why doesn't he smile? Why doesn't he shut up? Why does he run away like a kicked dog when you don't agree with him 100%? (My husband panics and it's to avoid a king size meltdown down). Why are you still married to him? Martyr complex much?

They NEVER say anything to HIM. I'm the one who has to hear all their complaints. They just ignore him and move on.



League_Girl
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09 Mar 2017, 12:58 pm

"You're the one who put this label on yourself" my mom to me a last year about my AS diagnoses even though I never even self diagnosed and I was diagnosed with it without my consent because I was 12. Maybe she means me trying to be normal is what gave me this label. That sounds better.


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crystaltermination
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09 Mar 2017, 1:14 pm

A woman at my old art psychotherapy group and her reaction when I summoned the courage to tell them I'd been diagnosed with ASD. She seemed annoyed and said some very childish and stupid things about how 'I couldn't have it'. I felt like I must have inadvertently walked into some 'who has the most issues' contest. I suppose I should have told her I didn't give a crap about her wounded, drug-addled ego.


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naturalplastic
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09 Mar 2017, 1:15 pm

Ana54 wrote:
...a PROFESSIONAL has said to you!

When I was diangosed the shrink that diagnoed me said something to the effect of, "I, for example, know when someone else wants to talk or doesn't want you to keep going on and on. You, on the other hand, don't." Only he said it in a more innocent way, not like he really meant to insult me, but he still seemed to think he was better than me at that lol. the real reasson I did that is because while I knew when people got bored or didn't like it, I just kept talking anyway because I needed to get it all out; I needed feedback about all of it, which was a part of me, really bad, because I was understimulated. Does that make sense? :)


What that therapist (or whatever they were) meant was that neurotypicals in general (the therapist being a member of the class of people labeled "neurotypical") have an instinct for knowing when to shut up about a subject before the person/people they are addressing get bored/alienated.

In contrast you (being autistic) lack that instinct. And that IS a common trait of autistics (being monologists). The person meant "you as opposed to most people". Not "you as opposed to me [as an individual]".

I suppose you are right to be pissed off at the way the person said it. But not so much at what they said. The person didnt make it clear that they were diagnosing you, and not "being holier than thou". Lol!



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09 Mar 2017, 4:09 pm

Tawaki wrote:
Told to me (NT spouse) about ASD husband

Neurologist: He's too old to have Aspergers. He just has OCD and narcissism.


I've never had anyone suggest that I'm OCD or narcissistic, but I have seen professionals - who should know better - look at me with suspicion when I reveal that I'm on the spectrum. Our society has really conditioned people to think that autism is a childhood ailment, to the extent that adults are excluded from any consideration. That, and the fact that I'm verbally proficient and usually maintain good eye contact, apparently make me a liar in their limited view.


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naturalplastic
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09 Mar 2017, 4:17 pm

Tawaki wrote:
Told to me (NT spouse) about ASD husband

GP 1: Your husband is the strangest person I have ever met. Mind you, this doctor worked at the state forensic psychiatric hospital that handled criminally insane prisoners. Fabulous!

GP 2: You'd lose 80 pounds of stress weight if you would divorce him.

Pediatrician: Who's your kid's real father? She's too well adjusted to he his.

ER doctor 1: What's he on? The drug urine test came back clean. We are doing a blood screen because his affect is totally off. He looks high.

Neurologist: He's too old to have Aspergers. He just has OCD and narcissism.

Numerous people: Why does he always look stoned? Why does he stumble around? Why doesn't he smile? Why doesn't he shut up? Why does he run away like a kicked dog when you don't agree with him 100%? (My husband panics and it's to avoid a king size meltdown down). Why are you still married to him? Martyr complex much?

They NEVER say anything to HIM. I'm the one who has to hear all their complaints. They just ignore him and move on.


Damn!

Each of those deserves a prize.



Benjamin the Donkey
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09 Mar 2017, 6:55 pm

So many astonishing stories of professional incompetence here.

The worst I've heard was when we took in our son for AS diagnosis and I mentioned that I was one too. The doctor glanced at me and said, "Yes, clearly."


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Last edited by Benjamin the Donkey on 09 Mar 2017, 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

248RPA
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09 Mar 2017, 7:42 pm

I was a rather uncoordinated 3 year old, and my teacher said to me:
"You're so slow. I should call you Turtle from now on."
"You're even slower than a turtle. I should call you Snail from now on."
"You're even slower than a snail. I don't even know what to call you anymore."

I didn't think much of it at the time because I didn't know better. Now that I look back, I realise it's not normal teacher behaviour.


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burnt_orange
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09 Mar 2017, 8:00 pm

How about sexist?

I was taking welbutrin for depression and I told the psychiatrist that I couldn't orgasm and I wanted to switch to something else. (Note that I had previously told him that I was not having sex with anyone.) So he asks me if maybe it's my partner...?

I had to wonder, if a dude said he couldn't orgasm, would you take him at his word or ask if it was his partner? But, because women don't masturbate they can't know this about themselves?

I didn't remind him that I wasn't having sex with anyone. I just said no. And switched drugs.



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09 Mar 2017, 8:23 pm

I seen a psychologist for depression and anxiety when I was about 20. I told him I had trouble making friends and would describe events. He never brought up ASD. Instead, he tried to turn me to god. After hearing his recommendations I abruptly quit seeing this wacko. 1. I'm atheist. 2. I came to him for serious help.

When I was pregnant and went to the ER the nurse seen a mark on my arm and thought I was shooting up. Turns out it was a freckle. I was just really anti social and depressed at the time so she was suspicious. I hate all health care workers. They all look at me strangely and suspiciously. I hate having to prove myself through drug tests. I don't do drugs.



johnnyh
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10 Mar 2017, 5:15 am

"Plenty of people with aspergers (not he did not use "Autism") are talented! You are just depressed right now"

He said it in a way that invalidated my struggle and pain from my disorder. Ideas like these spread like wildfire. If you keep convincing people you are your illness, that it is a part of your vital character, they won't have sympathy.


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