not convinced I have Asperger's

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Interesting. I'm another fence sitter as far as not knowing whether I have some sort of condition or just grew up different and have socialization issues.

I get this same feeling about other people and their moods. I get extremely uncomfortable around others if they are arguing or in a bad mood, to the point that I need to get away from the situation as soon as possible. Even if I know it's got nothing to do with me. I really try to figure this out because other people seem to be able to remove themselves from the situation so easily while it throws me into an internal panic.

Who knows, maybe I'm just bad with conflict. But it'd be interesting if it was something most people here struggle with.

Like others have said, it's a spectrum. For some people it can be hard to tell if it's AS, almost AS (PDD-NOS, which is a stupid term), BAP (Broader Autistic Phenotype, which is generally sub-clinical), or just socially shy and awkward. Both the DSM and Gillberg criteria are at least somewhat subjective, so it can be difficult. All (or almost all) people on the spectrum share a tendency to be obsessive, but that doesn't necessarily mean being interested in the same narrow topic for years on end. Most people on this site seem to have a range of interests, which in my experiences can become stronger sometimes or put aside at other times. Here's a list from the book "Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger System" which my current therapist gave to me:

Myths about AS:
-People with AS are always aloof and uninterested in others.
-People with AS have no relationships.
-People with AS do not make any eye contact.
-People with AS lack empathy for others.
-People with AS are intellectual geniuses.

There are explanations for each point, but I don't have the time/energy to type all of it. Hope that helps.

look that empathy thing is a load of crap, i certanly feel empathy and yet i certanly have aspergers

Wel i gess im very 'blunt' because i dont believe in not telling the truth, it just feels fake for me. but then again people with AS are seperate individials in their own way and DO have their differences too, we are NOT clones!! !
xx

Maybe I am wrong here, but I think that the true test of whether or not someone has AS is in the exhibiting of physical (not mental/emotional) traits. By this I mean such things as: stimming, difficulty in coordinating hands and feet (at times), general stiffness in body movements, tall stature (debated), etc.
All people have moments of shyness, of coming across as either callous or overly empathetic, of avoiding conflict, etc. So, I think that we need to identify specific "physical" traits that don't lie! Otherwise, we can all claim to be somewhere "in the spectrum."

well then get the f**k off here and go on a nt forum

I dont know about the physical thing either. My ex-boyfriend I believe was an aspie, he was obsessed with where everything in his room went and he sang the same song lines over and over again and was obsessed with saving money and time and every minute of his day was scheduled.

I used to wonder why he sang his repetitive songs all the time. I now think it was echolalia.

He has a cheerful persona that he used and avoids conflict. Because of this he generally got along with people well on a day-to-day basis.

But he is fit and strong and he did lots of yoga, running, walking and he had a labouring job. An incredibly physical person.

I dont think the AS spectrum is as simple as it looks and I think it contains a number of people who get missed because they dont appear autistic.

Well, that came out of nowhere.

That makes a lot of sense.

I totally agree. I learned about AS because a friend of mine and his wife were getting a divorce. My friend was fit, scheduled his time to be productive, had a professional job, and outwardly looked like a perfect husband. He had no obvious AS physical traits, but I think he had some subtle ones (example: when he tried to smile for a photograph it usually came across as forced and artificial).

However, what people outside the immediate family didn't know was that he obsessively controlled his wife, had to have complete order in the house, and had special interests that went beyond the level of hobby. When he and his wife went to counseling, the psychotherapist said that my friend might have Asperger. He and his family did not what to hear that, at all. There was nothing wrong with him. He got divorced and I am still friends with his ex-wife but not with him. Because I didn't reject her friendship, I was wrong. When his ex-wife's mother told me what the characteristics of AS are, a dark, dizzying light exploded in my mind and I immediately said to myself, "That is my family and me." That started a quest (and I can say obsession) to learn as much as I could about AS. I'm scheduled to be evaluated this year.

If you were to meet me, you might very well say that I couldn't possibly have AS because I have eye contact, have give-and-take in a conversation, I smile, I can be very pleasant to be around. I incessantly adapt and compensate, but in the back of my mind I'm still the little boy in the back yard who had difficulty making friends and didn't use his imagination to play but was content to be alone and examine the beautiful patterns in the blades of grass, flowers, leaves, bark, insects, concrete, paint on our porch posts, bricks, sand, gravel . . . .

Last edited by Zonder on 27 Feb 2008, 6:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nope.
In fact, I've been told I care too much about people.

Care isn't empathy.

There's a million physical signs professionals use to pickup Asperger's in people; anyone can say they exhibit these symptoms, that doesn't mean they display them.

When it says "severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction" and with "non-verbal communication problems", these will be displayed when you talk to the professionals, they will be displayed to everyone.

Sure, I can interact well with my mother, but I make sporadic eye contact, and I've known her my whole life; I don't make any to a professional.

And "all-absorbing narrow interest" is needed for AS if one is to be diagnosed by certain institutions (Professor Attwood for example).

People with personality disorders often display these same "physical" traits.

Good luck actually FINDING one in a lot of areas though. I went to somebody, and he decided I was "depressed". Never mind that the reasons he gave aren't correct, and that that doesn't explain any of my problems if I was.

Frankly I'd have more faith in RDOS' test than probably most psychologists (unless you're lucky enough to have one who knows Aspergers, and doesn't just have one patient with it or read about it in some book).

Are you sure about that? I mean maybe not directly, and it's not the only reason for that, but it seems like most people with AS have trouble with those situations for lack of knowing what to do, having difficulty handling that many people, etc., etc.



You know, I do well now with this, but I think I had to learn it. I think I sort of run through mentally how someone might react to something ahead of time-try to preprocess it sort of. (Or occasionally just respond without thinking.)

I also really care about how people see me-or at least I'm emotionally affected by others making fun of me, etc., and I'm not sure if that's a very Aspie thing to care about....