Does anyone get sad about never being normal sometimes?

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My wish is less "I want to be normal!" than "I want people to understand that not everyone's brain works the same way!"

I am having some major stress-inducing issues at work right now wherein one of my bosses keeps "assuming" I know things and then getting disappointed when I don't do them. He's also told me I'm "too detail-oriented" and that I should "look at the big picture". I know I'm detail oriented! That's one of the things I've been trying to tell people for a long time! I can't force myself to see the "big picture" -- I'm just not that kind of thinker. I know that there are plenty of tasks that are good for detail-oriented people but I don't seem to often get assigned to them. I'm also having issues with the fact that I work best via text but people keep insisting that I call meetings, and they don't answer my e-mails, and they get annoyed when I keep telling them to slow down so I can take notes.

I know I'm not "defective" or "freakish" -- I just have a different cognitive style. I just wish I could explain it to my bosses. I'm not sure how, or whether it would be in my best interest. It's getting to the point where I think I need to have a DX and to talk to my employers about it otherwise risk serious career damage. I just want people to understand that I am not "difficult" on purpose and that life would be much better for me AND them if they just let me use email and IM more than face to face, etc.

Yes...whenever I think of how hard I have to work to be anywhere near the level of "socially acceptable", and that no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to function normally, I wish I was normal. Although this is a point of much thought for me lately...I'm not sure if I'm glad to be who I am, or if I would rather be normal.

I'm fine with AS, it's all the comorbid stuff that's depressing.

Sometimes, I think if I was society's definition of "normal", my talents and intelligence would be rewarded and just maybe I could get a job paying a decent wage. Even with a college degree, potential employees would rather look at my shy and weird demeanor than my credentials which means they hire the more socially outgoing person with less smarts than the quieter candidate with all qualifications for the job.

It's because there's this misconception NTs have about us not being able to do as good a job as "normal" people and that we might clash with the office climate. I say bull shiite! I've been looking for work about a year and this whole thing is getting old, fast. If I had the capital to start my own business, believe me, I'll bet I'd have better success because people would actually have to focus on my product's quality and not superficial crap.

Anyway, as far as having friends, I get so frazzled by social contact I can't be around people that much as even family members can drain my energy so I've never really wanted friends that much, although a wonderful boyfriend would be nice. I'm like Mr. Bean, content sitting at the park alone eating sandwiches and feeding squarrels, geese and other wildlife.

I didn't even see myself as "abnormal" until everyone in my 6th grade class made it their #1 mission to inform me about my "low-life", "geek" status.....oh say, about every five minutes during the whole school year and beyond in junior high. By high school graduation, I was so scarred by not knowing exactly what I was doing wrong and why people disliked me that my anxiety became debilitating and I also developed depression.

I've been working this past year on loving myself for who I truly am rather than persuing some NT ideal of the perfect social life with husband, 2.5 kids and a dog in suburbia. I've accepted that I'm a new millenium "flower child" who just wants to enjoy life, even if it doesn't include people at times.

If I lose my sense of wonder, my love of animals and babies, my love of toys, stuffed animals, games, books, laying on a blanket in the park, spirituality, making fun of Bush , sandals over high heels, comfortable clothing not necessarily in the "lastest" style,

Or my abhorrance of parties, formal events, superficial people, night clubs, Paris Hilton, expensive name brand clothing, teenagers(I'm sorry, but they're just plain evil.), injustice, bullying, discrimination, violence, hatred, greed, the way society is set up for the benefit of a narrow demographic, poverty and that people are dying of hunger even as Americans waste tons of food, I would turn into a person I hated for selling out.

Yes... Sometimes I wish I was socially better.

When you read into Buddhism, you realise all their social games don't mean anything anyway. Countless times I've seen people do things that are obviously cliched and prone to a certain outcome... but they do it anyway. It just bugs me when people have a problem with me when I never intended to insult them.

Sometimes I wish that I was normal.I was very angry when I found out I had AS/HFA.But I'm over that and I've accepted my differences.....

>_> I think this has been done before, oh well.

Normal is a waste of time and mind usage. Normal would be throwing away all logic and just believing or doing things that make absolutely no sense at all. Like taking out half-empty garbage that smells fine and has no reason to be taken out. Yes, I know; logical rebellion probably isn't very wise.

I don't wish I were normal as such... But I do look at 'normal' people and wish I could do what they do (ie: socialise easily and freely).

Everytime my sister went out partying I got a momentary pang of envy, wishing I could go with her, and be able to enjoy myself, but I know if I did go I'd end up leaving anyway...

So I don't wish I were normal, just some wish I weren't inhibited socially.

GA

That's how I think sometimes at work when I think how much time and money is wasted on inefficient office systems – not to mention office politics. I'm too young and inexperienced yet anyway to do such thing. I also know that the lack of social skills and client contacts will really make such venture very difficult. You can’t win either way really.

I'm gradually learning to value my differences, mainly due to this site. It still depresses me a little, but I'm learning to cope. As far as being social, its a struggle. Copious amounts of alcohol can help sometimes, but its hard finding how to fit into social circles when you can't pour all the time. The best way to do it, I've found, even if you get a few bad looks is to be honest. Don't call it aspie, but let people know straight off you are shy. Honesty is the best policy in some situations, as long as your not compeletly honest and freak people out.

I blame all my weirdness on being gifted. It's worked for 42 years, why stop now. And it's more "socially acceptable" than admitting to AS or Autism. Sorry, but that's my chosen way to deal with this.

A couple of thoughts.

Alcohol and AS when you don't know you have AS is a disaster because it takes down your inhibitions.

But when you know you have it and so can counteract it, why not loosen up with a few drinks like a normal person?

Reminds me of when I first 'ran away from home' and started my adult life. The friend who helped me do it (who didn't know about AS, nor did I at the time) told me something about having to 'manufacture a past'. That's cool as long as you know the truth. Don't let 90% of people into your confidence (something I certainly don't have to tell the English here - it's built into the culture there!).

No. I would lose too much and gain too little.

I feel bogged down with the AS related stuff that I deal with, and once a month, I have a good cry about it. I'm working on not letting things like that get to me, and it's a challenge. One day, I won't get frusterated about my differences, anymore. I usually celebrate my differences, but when it's almost that time of the month, my Personality seems to sneak a change on me.

[quote="nirrti"]
I've been working this past year on loving myself for who I truly am rather than persuing some NT ideal of the perfect social life with husband, 2.5 kids and a dog in suburbia. I've accepted that I'm a new millenium "flower child" who just wants to enjoy life, even if it doesn't include people at times.

[quote]

I feel the same way you do. Why does society place so much emphasis on getting married? Half of them end in divorce. Suburbs are so borring. I'd rather live in an apartment in the middle of a downtown inner city, a small town, or even better a resort town out west like Jackson Hole, WY.