Inappropriate Laughing, anyone else with this problem?
Why laugh when someone else is in pain??
That's probably the only way he sees such; a distorted perspective of emotions and sensory inputs can manifest in a number of ways; what's to say that laughing doesn't equate to sad in another's mind, a mind that's totally different to that which is normal?
Who'd think that wearing certain clothes could be agony? The same for emotions, feelings. He'll change as he grows as he realizes the "correct" way to respond.
I feel like laughing when people are hurt, but I know it's inappropriate; if it's due to their own error, I usually cannot contain it however.
Thank you. I can't ask him why he laughs because he can't verbalise his answer, like he doesn't know why himself.
At his age, I'm sure it just is to him, how he is is all he knows to do; like any kid. Explaining it to someone with an entirely different way of viewing the world is totally out of one's mind at that age.
To him, what he does is "normal"; to others, not so normal. When you see us, those who're "different" in this light, it's easy to understand why we do certain things. This can be applied to everyone in reality.
I don't think the "why" can be answered in certain facets of autism; I can say why I don't like eye contact, why I don't like wearing shirts; some, like why I cannot socialize with everyone but two people, I can only explain the "why" by saying that I don't know how to (it's beside the point that I don't want to).
I think it is to do with the way the brain is wired up. For me, I learned what was appropriate and how to view things, but I used other channels than the usual ones. I have something completely different i use when empathising with people- I try and picture myself in the same position and then that way I find the connection with them.
But before I try and imagine myself in the same position I find it hard to realise how they are feeling. Especially if I havent had the experience they have had.
I think that NTs dont need to imagine themselves in the same position like I do- something in their mind automatically fires up.
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Taking a break.
But before I try and imagine myself in the same position I find it hard to realise how they are feeling. Especially if I havent had the experience they have had.
I think that NTs dont need to imagine themselves in the same position like I do- something in their mind automatically fires up.
I'm also getting better at putting myself in someone else's shoes. For me there is a difference in doing that if someone comes to you with a problem and when they are upset because of something I have unintentionally said or done. Still trying to figure out how to save the situation without going into clumsy explanations that they anyway never seem to understand.
Fiz
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I sometimes laugh at inappropriate times, and even at things I don't necessarily find funny normally. It's horrible because, once it happens, when people stare, that makes me laugh more and so I make more of a dick of myself.
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The only person in the world that can truly make you happy is yourself.
Maybe not problems with inapropriate laughing but with such smiling for sure. It used to happen to me that people half in jest accused me of "morbid and sinister" imagination or plans (I'm famous among my acquintances for expressing the most eccentric thoughts openly) when I suddenly started to smile when nothing could justify my facial gesture.
I laugh for emotions other than finding something funny. This is only considered "inappropriate" because the particular culture I'm in teaches people to avoid laughing at many times that would otherwise be normal for people to laugh: When afraid or confronted with a tragedy, for instance. There is some leeway afforded for people to laugh at funerals or while "in shock", but I have a lower threshold of doing that sort of thing than most people do, and therefore I have been grossly misinterpreted at times as actually finding amusement in horrible things, when it's actually my expression of horror, not my expression of amusement. I am not a monster but I have sometimes been treated like one by people who didn't realize what my expressions meant, and it is horrible to be unable to explain oneself to people who think that your facial expression "said it all" when your facial expression meant something very different than joy or happiness or humor.
I don't think it is an accident though that even humor deals mostly with things that people really find extremely unpleasant: I think it came out of that smiling or laughing response to fear and tragedy. There's a reason people talk about laughing to keep from crying, and "nervous laughter", too. And there's a reason that in all other apes, smiling and laughter often mean very different things than just "funny". And same in humans too, we just learn to suppress some of them based on what culture we're in, and at that point only really extreme circumstances can break us out of our conditioning. And then some people have more trouble with applying that conditioning than others, and some autistic people are no exception.
What I hated the most was that in mental institutions, staff hated anyone who laughed or smiled when bad things were happening. We were singled out for extra abuse. Yet "inappropriate" (i.e. socially deemed inappropriate, even though entirely appropriate for the human species) laughter is considered common in both autistic people and people with psychoses of various sorts. I was diagnosed at the time with both autism and psychosis, yet they treated me like dirt for having this reaction. Especially smiling uncontrollably when punished or abused, or when fighting back against abuse. They acted like I was a monster, and I saw them do it to other totally innocent people as well whose only crime was having a neurology that didn't allow them to suppress "socially inappropriate" displays of emotion. This is quite possibly one of the reasons I was one of the two or three people singled out for the worst abuse at one place -- I remember one of the others who was abused as badly had "inappropriate laughter" too, she smiled when terrified as well. We understood each other but the staff didn't understand us, or I guess in some cases didn't want to (because there was one really sadistic woman there who liked hurting people, and I'm sure she saw just the opportunity to make us despised).
So the whole concept of "inappropriate" laughter brings back a lot of really bad memories of being misjudged in horrible ways and getting some pretty severe penalties for it. And even writing about it has in the past gotten me treated like a monster even when I have said outright that I am smiling in response to terror or dismay, not in response to happiness, and that people who do this are unfairly penalized. I think people who know that and then willingly take advantage of it are awful. Fortunately I also know a lot of autistic people who do it too, as well as other people who are not neurologically typical in other ways and are unable to always force their bodies to take on the socially "appropriate" body language. What disturbs me the most about this particular taboo on laughing though, is that it's a taboo against a very deeply-ingrained human behavior pattern that is probably normal when not suppressed and harms nobody if everyone understands that there is a far wider context for laughter than just when something is funny.
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richardbenson
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Why laugh when someone else is in pain??
I'd say he can't interpret your expressions of pain properly, or is unable to determine the appropriate reaction, and just laughs about the situation.
Or he's upset and shows it by laughing. I once laughed when my hampster was dying in my hands and I swear there was nothing happy at all in that laugh, it was pure horror and grief. I'd reached in to cuddle her and she was cold but moving, and... it was just awful.
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"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
I laugh when other people don't and it happens out of different reasons than amusement.
I get fits of uncontrollable laughter when I'm in sudden and huge amounts of pain. I just growl and laugh. I also can hardly control my urge to giggle and laugh when I watch a film in which someone is murdered in a horrible way, when there is an awful surgery shown on TV or when someone is hurting himself rather bad/bleeding a lot. I find it utterly terrifying and laugh.
I feel like laughing when I'm very mad, but I can control that and keep a straight face, although my body is shacking with random laughter. I try hard not to do it, because it enrages other people even more.
Guess one can say: when something awful, bad, squirmy or otherwise just bad and sad happens (t me or someone else) I always grin like mad. I don't do it intentionally, it just my first reaction, a fat loony grin. It makes people think I'm at least a lunatic if not worse.
I laugh when I'm nervous. At the wedding to my second husband I got into hysterical laughter just when we were supposed to be saying our vows. I was so nervous that I couldn't control it and it was hard to get any words out let alone the right ones.
I sometimes have fits of giggles in the middle of the night when the rest of the household are asleep. It happens when I am thinking of something funny that happened that day and the more I tried to laugh quietly or refrain from laughter the more I get the giggles (like a nervous reaction). Certain things make me laugh uncontrollably (such as farts). I have no idea why, but I have no control over my giggles about farts or anything toilet humour. My youngest son has HFA, he's 3, and my hubbie and I went on the EarlyBird NAS course last year (every session was extremely difficult for me as I don't cope in social situations so I was already nervous), but one evening there was an educational psychologist doing a talk, we were discussing toilet training, and she said that for some reason people can only tolerate the smell of their own child's poo and not someone else's child's poo. I don't know why but it struck me as funny that 6 couples in their 20s 30s and 40s and a respectable psychologist were talking about the smell of poo... so I got the giggles and really made a fool of myself. I couldn't stop laughing no matter how much I tried (relaxation, breathing etc).
And when people trip over, whilst I make a real effort to be discreet I do laugh because I find it funny even though I know most people don't.
My 3 year old son who has HFA also has an excellent sense of humour and he too gets the giggles inappropriately. He sees the funny side of any disasters when we're out and about. If someone sneezes in Tesco that gets him giggling (and copying the sneeze). If someone trips up he laughs...
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