How do you feel when someone denies you have Asperger's?

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Paolo - Your words resonate deeply with me. I have been profoundly hurt in this manner. I am almost mute and a HFA. I understand......endless. Thank you Paolo.

I dont have AS, my 9 year old son does. (hope you don't mind my posting tho)

I get angry when I'm told by his current school. Well if he does have AS (even tho they have been sat down and told by my sons doc's that yes he does have AS) He is so high functioning and coping so well you wouldn't even no it.

I get angry when I tell them he is telling me he is unhappy and struggling with the work, and only plays his way. And his current school tell me well he copes fine here maybe its something going on at home. Der he is safe at home so can express his exhaustion from trying to fit in all day.

I get angry that they are so close mind. I'm tired of being told by his school that he is barely on the spectrum, they have had other kids on the spectrum and they were nothing like my son.
First rule to learn= if you have seen one autistic person, you have seen one autistic person, they are all different!

sorry for venting, I'm a very angry and frustrated mum when it comes to my sons current school and lack of support from them.

Why do you feel hurt? I didn't mean to hurt anybody.I am rarely helpful, but at the same time incapable to hurt at least intentionally. Or so I believe.

I feel exactly like u this morning i was talkin 2 me sister about my AS n she says im lying but i don't lie n it really pisses me off.

I would like to wear a badge. If somebody asks me "what does it mean?" I could be elusive or say a little bit just to introduce the subject, and if the person sounds receptive I might go on explaining a little more. At the end of this (but there never would be such end) I would yell: "help, help please if you can".

A badge like the logo of the NAS, but very small.

Oh no, Paolo, you did not hurt me at all - quite the opposite (sorry for the misinterpretation). I meant that I understood, deeply, your words, which you so eloquently wrote. I feel precisely the same as you. I have read some of your posts and I have always admired you. You're very wise and just know how hard being AS in a NT world can be. True, I/we are not designed for the neurotypical world. Thank you Paolo.

It doesn't matter to me what other people think. I've not been questioned on it anyway, except that I've been told I'm unusually talkative. I talk online only because I can't see your faces. If you were standing in front of me in real life, I'd avoid you and probably never say a word to you. Plus, as soon as you saw me, you'd know I have AS. Online chat and texting is easier for me -- I've been chatting since the Prodigy service days, back in '93. There's none of the snap judgment of my appearance that happens to me in real life. What makes me angry is when the media starts stereotyping people with AS or other ASD condition and portrays them as being 'disabled.' I'm not disabled (at least not right now). I'm sure some people with ASDs are classified disabled, but in my view most of the rest can function as well as anyone else in society, if they set their minds to it.

Since I haven't been formally diagnosed, it's just a word. I have more or less passed for normal all these years anyway. I know what fits and what doesn't. People believe what they want to believe anyway.

Frustration may be the correct word for what I experience when someone tries to argue with me about something I have revealed about myself. I get annoyed by their faulty logic - how could they have a strong opinion on such personal information when they barely know me? Do they always think like this?

I also wish they could respect the risk I took by revealing personal information. It seems to be rare that people actually respect statements made in confidence. This is why the longer I live, the more reluctant I am to trust anyone.

I suffered enough to deserve my diagnosis!

So when people deny my Asperger's, they deny my suffering. It makes me angry and sad, but mostly angry. Also, Asperger's explains my life, it fits.

I just had a person on Youtube suggest that I don't have Asperger's, in this case she suggested that I'm just an INTJ/INTP. A Mayer's-Brigg's personality. I'm am an INTJ, and I told her that many Aspies are also INTJ/INTP. She still didn't accept my AS. I struggling to be polite to her.

Suffering and identity have always ran right throught that which is the human condition and always will. Aspeger's is a popular theory these years - it exists within the boundaries of science and in relation to something that at large hasn't really been made sense of.
Let's acknowledge the meaningfulness of suffering and identity in itself.

Having random people say we don't have Asperger's doesn't change who we are.

Why not wear one of those silicone bracelets with a word or a few words written on it? I've ordered one that says "AspieMinx," since my boyfriend nicknames me Minx. These things could be good conversation starters if you want them to be. At the least, you could have a nice memento.

When people deny my AS, I get angry because my self-understanding, struggles, and hard work at thriving - normally things that are praised - are being punished by my being misunderstood. I'm getting over my issues over being misunderstood, so it shouldn't bother me too much any more pretty soon. Having the official diagnosis should help with that.

Oh, by the way, NTs lie to each other all the times. Being alone in the crowd I am an experienced eavesdropper (even if I don't work for any espionnage agency or private eye). I assure you: especially couples, but also all kinds of people, lie to each other all the time.

I would concur.

I get annoyed when various "professionals" from a psychology background think they understand aspergers, yet are notorious for missing social/interpersonal signals.

I was amused when I was told about a meeting between three people. The radiologist (background in SPECT scans), a behavioral neurologist and a "psychologist" (not clinical - but a supposed "expert") The result, no consensus on anything. The psychologist thought the radiologist was narcissistic. The radiologist thought the neurologist wasn't interested, and the psychologist was disrespectful to the radiologist. The neurologist thought the radiologist had aspergers. Both the neurologist and the radiologist actually knew something from the neurological standpoint. The psychologist was the one who claimed to be an expert (yeah, right!).

One of my friends (not present) who actually has significant experience with autism and aspergers, and adopted an autistic girl of her own(at 6, now almost 8 now), also says children on the autistic spectrum are all different, so figure out what they like to do and stick with it. She routinely plays chess with her daughter, or her daughter plays with other kids, because its fun for her.

One thing that really annoys me is when people assume that computer people have Aspergers, but are themselves notorious for poor interpersonal skills.

LinuxGuy

Well my parents didn't believe I had aspergers. I got frustrated/angry cuz I kept trying to explain to them why I got it down to the details. And it took alot out of me to even come up to them and tell them that I had a problem.

I never had any kind of real relationship with my mother even though I lived with her until I was 15. I told her last year that I had Asperger's and she just replied by saying "That's ridiculous, you were perfectly normal growing up."
I don't want to get into all the ways in which I was not normal, but let's just say, I was definitely not anywhere near normal.

That really angers me, especially if I think of all of the hardship I could have avoided as a teenager had she been a little less blind.

Then, there are other people who just tell me that I am the way I am because my mother was such a bad parent. That's just mildly annoying.

Finally, it gets extremely frustrating when my boyfriend refuses to see that a specific thing I do or say is Aspie-related. He doesn't deny the broader diagnosis but can bug me for weeks about something I am telling him that I will never get.