being touched

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I don't like being touched unless I'm prepared for it. This is part of the reason I hate crowds. Someone always brushes up against me sooner or later, and it's like a jolt to my senses. I can feel the pressure against my arm even after the touch is over, sometimes even several minutes after it's over. I have to rub my arm to rid myself of the sense that something is still there, and then I'm left with the lingering sensation of the rubbing... which is almost as bad, but at least is a little bit of an improvement because it's something I've done myself.

I hate being touched. My mother tells me I was "cuddly" until about five, but I can't tolerate touch now. My mother could just come up and hug me and I'll completely freak out. It's unfortunate, I suppose. However, from the absolute very beginning, I could never stand someone touching my head. My mother calls it sensitive scalp, but getting my head touched in anyway is immensely distressing.

I hit both ends of the scale quite extremely.


It depends whether the other person has been granted the "Contact License" or not.... i.e. the permission to make skin-contact on the condition that I'm aware of it beforehand.


People without the contact license, it is an absolute no-no for. Heck, even through clothing it bugs me. I have to put up with people on the bus who sprawl sometimes, and I avoid sitting next to anyone who takes up too much space. If they push their luck then I get increasingly aggressive and tense, usually sticking my elbows out (I'm very boney, so my elbows are SHARP) and digging them into peoples' sides in return if they don't quit it.
People unlicensed reaching out to me will tend either to be dodged or deflected reflexively. I can just about tolerate handshakes IF I do it with the back of my hand (I can turn my hand inside-out, due to being double-jointed) so as to make them at least as uncomfortable and awkward as it makes me. Any other hand-reachy is totally off-limits though. I will parry or swerve out of the way of oncoming hands and go instantly on the defensive.



With the contact license though... granted only to a few VERY select people (not including family any more, oddly enough). I am the TOTAL opposite. I well tend to go into feline attention-seeker mode at the drop of the hat... hug them spontaneously, nuzzle them, jump in their lap and go to sleep... even quite randomly engage in tickling them. And for that matter I'm mostly ok with them doing anything similar to me, provided I'm not concentrating on something and KNOW they're there. Heck, sometimes I'll meow at them just to get affection (and I really do mean meow), and I've even been known to do it in public.
That said... every time someone has tried touching me like that when I'm NOT aware of it... Well, my ex-wife tried to hug me from behind a few times (I'd have figured once would be enough to learn the lesson) when I didn't know she was there.... and my elbows both shot back like a bear-trap closing on her ribcage and gave her a couple of nasty bruises.
She was annoyed at me, but I felt that, being entirely reflexive on my part, she had nobody to blame but herself.




One other random thing though.
There was another Aspergian guy I used to meet at GameSoc... and I found I could manipulate him into doing things by poking him until he agreed to it. I'm sure he resented me for it, but I knew JUST how to annoy him to get what I wanted. Nobody else understood it.

.

I don't like people touching me unless it's someone that I feel a romantic connection. Otherwise I am not into hugging or any other kind of physical contact. To me it's just weird and uncomfortable, which I suppose makes me seem very cold. But really I'm not, I like to cuddle and snuggle and things like that, I just choose very select people to receive these things

I don't hate being touched, but I still have aspergers

I love hugs, but I don't like to be touched, lightly.

I am very sensitive to touch. I hate it. I have a big, growing 8-yr-old dd that wants to climb on me all the time, every day. It's an assault on my senses. She doesn't care. I tell her to stay out of my bubble. She can lay her head on my arm, that's OK with me, but climbing on me is horrible.

My chihuahua understands.

I hate to be touch most of the time, by most people. Like many of you children are an acception for me/ most of the time. I like touching at certain times only in certain ways. When I was a child tickling was on the bad touch list for me. I especially hate tickling and seem to be extra sensative to it, as I am many other things.

today a friend came up behind me and did the "grab the shoulder" technique on me to get my attention and i fell over paralize for 3 seconds because if i dont see it coming
i have panic attacks

My nephew doesn't like to be hugged. If you try to hug him he becomes rigid or pulls away .

He is 14 years old. Thinking back to when he was younger I believe he was this same way.

My sister would have to tell him to give me a hug before we left his house.

It is discouraging because, he is someone who you only gave positive reinforcement to.

Unconditional love always. More discouraging because, you give so much of yourself and one

day he is 14 and doesn't acknowledge you.

For example , I called him up on the phone to ask him if he saw the ball come down last night on

New Years Eve 2008. He says whaaaaaaaaat , nooooooooooooo . Then you say well what are

your plans for today? i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Then you say where is your mom. he

says she went to the storeeeeee . So in other words, you cannot have a conversation with him.

He is like this not only on the phone but , in general this is how he is.


I recall princess diana saying that she was never hugged when she was a child and therefore, she would
hugg her children all the time. aahhhhhhhh . I really can relate to that and i think the same. I then
got a nephew and wanted to also, hugg him.

I also think that I don't recall my sister hugging him much. I don't know if she could have contributed to his
disposition. I think there is a possibility there. ................

Usually i say "i hate being touched>" but on closer inspection it is a bit more complex than that. each time i am touched however, i get a terrible dread in my stomach but for the sake of social conformity in my adulthood, for many years I supressed this - even though I felt like screaming with RAGE when someone would touch me without invitation. ugh.

I can handle touch from my son. i love his cuddles. i do not know why it does not affect me in the same way touch from others does. and i am EXCEEDINGLY grateful for this.

One of the biggest issues in the demise of my relationship has been my inability to allow tactile communication UNLESS it is orderly, controlled and i have warning. THis makes for a very strange relationship. FOr years my ex who i still live with - he is great and the father of my son - would come up behind me and try to touch me affectionately. My reaction was to turn around and scream - literally scream - or hit him. it is awful. but true. i would seize up and have a mini meltdown. ifet so awful about it for many years. now opf course it all makes sense, like so much else.

i can give hugs.
i also like firm pressure - to the extent people find it weird.

other times, i cannot stand ANYONE not only touching me but too near me.

Like other SID stuff i exhibit, it does fluctuate a bit, although not as much as my sense of smell or visual and auditory processing problems.

I now warn people in my household. whad i say in th emorning - "oh please - itis a REALLY BAD DAY today - they know that showering me with any touch or wanting physical contact from me is akin to torture. i kid you not.)

I dislike touch and closeness. I don't mind being close to people I know well and like, that's probably the best indicator of how I feel about someone. people I don't know or like I will literally run away from if they come too close.

as much as I have a problem with being on the receiving end of touching, I'm actually quite an eager toucher myself. but I think that comes from the habit of exploring textures and sensory seeking.

I don't always like it, but I've learned to tolerate it even though I may not feel comfortable with it.

I enjoy hugs, but I don't care to be touched in other ways.