If Aspies know their interests put people off....

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My interests are more important to me than having friends is.

I’ve learned to curb it down among strangers and friends. I don’t hide it, but I don’t go on and on about it


With family I still end to ramble on and on. It is sort of like… swallowing, for like of better terms. If I tell myself not to swallow... and keep thinking to myself... “don’t swallow… don’t swallow… don’t swallow” The more I want to swallow. The more overwhelming the urge gets until finally.... I JUST HAVE TO SWALLOW!


It is like that with my subject. The more I tell myself not to think/talk about it, the stronger the urge gets to talk about.

My family doesn't like that I mainly discuss videogames my dad has said don't I have other interests than videogames. I also tend to repeat myself which upset my family while I wish I had a social life at times I'm beggining to understand Asperger's and look at negative social aspects (drinking partying etc.) and the fact that most students are stressed by College while I loved it.

I don't understand this either. I completely understand what it's like to have an obsession, want to talk about it all the time, and have no one interested in listening to you. I also understand what it's like to shut up about it so that others will find you more socially acceptable. But when you enter into an adult relationship with someone, there's a really good chance you're going to have to compromise - whether you're AS or not. That's part of the nature of being in a relationship.

There seem to be a few members here who refuse to compromise their behavior regardless of the situation. Hey, that's fine - that's your choice. But if your choice leads to being alone, and you're unhappy about that - maybe you need to rethink your strategy.

Most of my obsessions I keep to myself, unless someone else inadvertently brings it up, then I do tend to hijack the conversation and babble nonstop. I try to rein it in when I see their eyes start to glaze over, but it takes effort to shut up and let someone else speak for awhile. I'm always so afraid I'll leave out something really fascinating and forget to mention it later.

Some I'll discuss if someone shows an interest, but I have to constantly remind myself I probably know more about this subject than they care to hear. So I try to keep in mind that if I inundate them with too much information, it will only make them associate my presence forever after with BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...(like right now).

Other obsessions though, are of at least some interest to others and for many years I made several very good friends because we shared the same obsessions (though there's only one of those who might have also been on the spectrum). We were all walking rock encyclopedias and could yak forever about music, musicians, album cover art, song lyrics etc...

I can't help it if I am excited about them.

But I try to tone it down when I sense that I look like a freak.

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You're talking about something that really turns you on, you see their eyes start to glaze over, and...you...start...to...talk...FASTER!! !! If I can just FINISH THE THOUGHT, THEY WILL UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SO COOL!

I'm almost 40 and I'm only now starting to get that one under control. How about you? Does this sound familiar?

M

Hee hee. That was totally awesome description and indeed that is how it goes. You try to get it out FASTER as if that will change it!

Another way is when you are talking about how awesome something is....like the real Hannibal -and no he is not a serial killer, and oh oh oh THe battle Trasimene: He was blinded and wounded TWICE by the time he had completed Trasimene and Cannae and and and oh oh....17 years he kept this up with a mercinary army, foreign land, and and and.....In-CRED-IBLE!

(dull looks, crickets chirping)

AND once in a while, I get the "REALLY?" look and then they say, "Well, where can I read about it?"

Sometimes the enthusistic joy actually makes people interested!

That's a darn good day.

Very familiar. I get that way too when someone talks sports.

Then I seek people who won't be put off by my special interests and tell the ones who are put off to basically go procreate with themselves.

It really isn't fair. If NTs talk endlessly about sports, politics, TV shows, even something as trivial as fashion, it's still considered acceptable, even though it's actually much more boring to talk about what everyone else talks about... like a bunch of ducks quacking at each other.

When I used to have special interests, I subconsciously knew that I shouldn't keep talking about them to others, but I still did because I felt like I might burst if I didn't. It's as though my special interests were an itch, and me talking about them was "scratching" the itch.

I'm glad I don't have special interests any more.

What sort of "special interests" did you have, Joe?

I used to be so into the weather-----that I would call the weather offices of cities all across North America----and even some in Europe. I just had to know the temperature in Phoenix, as well as in New York LOL

This lead to a $600 phone bill in late 1971---which would be about $3,000 today. Fortunately, the phone company waived the charges.

I don’t much anymore and these days do not have to. That is what web forums etc are for.

From ages 13-16 I was totally obsessed with this couple who lived in the next street from me (God knows why these people fascinated me, as they were just 2 random people to begin with). I had a crush on the guy, and wanted to be just like his wife; confident, outgoing and old enough to be married to a 'sexy' guy (as I thought he was back then). It probably sounds like a normal crush from a teenage girl, but I used to go on and on and on about him to my friends at school, and to my family, and I wouldn't talk, or even think, about anything else. To me, the obsession was more important than my school work. I found out everything about this couple, which made me look like a stalker, and I even found out his phone number and tried to phone him. My friends backed away from me because of how badly I was obsessed. It affected everything.
Thankfully the obsession died out when I was 17, and got replaced by bus-drivers . But I didn't go on about it so much to friends, so that was OK.

Now I'm obsessed with Grange Hill, a British long-running drama series about a school, although I don't really talk about it to anyone. I just write stories about it, using the same characters from the series but making up different plots.

Is it a boarding school, or a "public" school in the British sense?

As for me, I go through "stages." Right not, I am reprising my obsession for listening to old rock-n-roll songs before rock-n-roll became popular. I like to listen to old airchecks of rock-n-roll before it became really popular. After it became really popular, I just lose interest.