Female Friends

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Female? Friends!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Seriously, no....just no. *facepalm*

I have no idea how that can happen

Third language? That's very impressive.


Never! Although, admittedly this may be due to my not speaking a second language.


While not all girls are like this, it does seem as though more are than are not (and by girls, I'm also referring to adult women). This often makes me wonder if it's something about me that 'brings out' this behavior, or if they treat each other like this. It often seems like they do treat each other like this, which makes me wonder how they manage to find, make and keep friends amongst each other...and also what the attraction is.

It's a pity really, because when girls are not being like this, they can be really great, understanding and compassionate friends. It's just with some, you never know which you'll get. Guys can be (very) unfriendly too, but in my experience typical males often to be more 'up front' about it....or perhaps they just are less skilled at hiding it.

All the girls I've ever met take a blunt observation as a personal insult. I find it frustrating when I'm amongst guys who call me "gay" for never having a girl friend at my age. The truth is I don't want one. The girls around here are better at manipulation than I am, and that's saying something. The only reason people date at this age anyway is because of the conclusion people reach after watching disney channel. They either become the girl who dates a guy for personal gain (popularity, status, money, ahem, sex...) or are experiencing a disney-induced case of love delirium. Genuine people form friendships that may blossom into "real" romance after years of knowing each other. That's my take on it, see it as you will.

She wasn't necessarily dissing you. I have a tendency to be on autopilot when I'm going somewhere specific that I've been to many times and my body knows the way to, and I can walk right past someone I've known for years and not notice them. I only register other humans as mobile objects-to-be-avoided, so that I don't run into anyone, when I'm in that state.

That's probably not what was happening if she was NT, but if she's another aspie (or just very distracted that day) it might be the case.

Women are by and large, pretty tough creatures.
If they think you're worth something to them, they'll be OK.
But if they think you have nothing to offer, they'll see you as a potential drain and treat you pretty mean.

It's not their fault, nature has programmed them that way.

They are the acquisitive sex, programmed to secure maximum resources for their children.

First rule of life : never cross a woman - if you do, you'll soon learn that they are not creatures to be tangled with.

Look at how they can be with each other.
No (straight) man is psychologically capable of that level of hostility or aggression (I'm talking about social/emotional hostility).

Men are the giving/providing sex.

Of course, I'm generalising here because there are plenty of absolutely adorable women.

But I don't find much joy in the company of women as friends/acquaintances.
I much prefer the relative comfort and safety of men.

I'm 33 now and it took me a long time to find someone with whom could handle my rather eccentric mind.

There were about ten, fifteen extremily difficult years in which I had little to no contact with anyone at all. That almost sent me over the edge. But I picked myself up, forced myself into a few years of studying at University and started working out in the gym.

The trick I found was to find a way to work with my neurological/cognitive disorder rather than try to fight against it and socialize the normal way. I started using sites like match.com and so on and was actually pretty successful in meeting quite a number of woman. I had a lot of experiences both good and bad till I got the whole dating thing down to a bit of an artform.

I thought I would be dating for years before I found someone I felt genuinally comfortable with.

Life moves in strange ways. One day I just found the right woman. She's brilliant at math, has powerful general day to day life survival skills and has a real nurturing caring side and actually enjoys the fact that she knows I don't socialize because that means she knows I'm never straying.

My life is a little more boring than it used to be. I used to roll with a group of underground DJ's and music collectors and I loved to dance the night away with my friends. I had one friend in particular whom I miss very much. But I gave up that life to spend my days with my wife.

I won't lie, finding a woman that can handle someone who isn't neurotypical is probably the hardest thing I ever tryed to do.

It was only by an incredible twist of good luck that the Universe dropped the perfect woman for me, right out of the blue.

got misogyny?

Got PC axe-grinding ?
Or just not very perceptive ?

I have eyes and ears.

I know several women who MORE than agree with my perceptions.

most women see me as rather odd which I find very hard to deal with.

when I see a woman walking to work in the wind and rain early in the morning I can't help asking myself if she would rather be sat in front of my fire in my house being looked after by me and not needing to work.

I don't think it's PC to see something wrong with statements like,
"No (straight) man is psychologically capable of that level of hostility or aggression (I'm talking about social/emotional hostility)."

You seem to be forgetting the entire history of the human race.
You probably never have had a man really out to get you - you'd never forget the twisted, entirely hateful look on his face if you had. Good for you that you've only ever been dissed by women, but don't pretend that the opposite does not happen. The people who have tormented and humiliated me throughout my life have been almost exclusively male. Dylan and Kleibold were tormented by males.
The people who have done the worst wide-scale damage across history have been almost exclusively male. Don't forget that just because you're in a cozy women-bashing, group-think, locker-room environment.

Women can absolutely be evil - I'm not saying that they're all great people. But to say that women are almost universally worse human beings than men is... naive? ignorant? self-serving, maybe?

I'm sorry men seem to find you so disagreeable, but I call it as I see it.

If being PC means giving up my right to freedom of expression, then I'm more than happy to be called un-PC.

I was making a COMPARISON between men and women - which of course, requires generalisation.

But you seem to have taken it personally and adopted a rather partisan stance.
One that I'm afraid to say, is not entirely unfamiliar in my experience of the female sex.

Sorry, but those are my perceptions borne of a lifetime's experience.

If it's vacuous platitudes you're after, you're talking to the wrong guy.

Women are what they are.
It's not my fault.
It's not yours.
It's just something that humanity has to deal with.

Women are what they are, and men are what they are.

You, quite frankly, are wrong about what that is in both cases.

Probably true.



The problem with this is that in my experience the vast majority of NT females (I've never met an AS girl IRL) don't take heterosexual male friends seriously - even when there are no selfish motives (such as wanting your help or a shoulder to cry on) you're someone OK to hang out with rather than seen as a proper (i.e. close) friend. This is probably one of the main reasons guys hate the friends zone so much: it's a bit like the dump.
Also, if you're a male, befriend a girl with no initial romantic intentions but then develop romantic feelings, she will likely see this as deceit (which I'm sure happens a lot, but there are some cases in which the guy genuinely was only interested in friendship at first



I feel the same way.

How childish.

I moved a lot when I was younger, so I kept having to (try to) make new friends. Most of the friends that I did make were female. And even now, most of my friends are female.

How ad hominem.

Rather than typing mealy-mouthed platitudes like 'I call it like I see it,' 'being polite means giving up free expression,'you're taking things personally,' and 'you're being partisan and I'm not,' why don't you respond to any of my actual points?

The bullies that drive other students to kill themselves or to go on killing rampages are invariably male.
The students who eventually decide to go on killing rampages are invariably male.
The perpetrators of war and rape are almost invariably male.
The leaders who encourage and run genocide are invariably male.