After trying to change, I know now people with AS can't

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i'm just throwing some arguments out to make us all think....talking about that (not understanding a frequency thing)....well...people learn to play musical instruments...and can then subconciously play them without thinking much of the time (with the added miracle of muscle memory)....perhaps social skills are just a really complex instrument, the more you practice, the more ingrained and natural it becomes, perhaps rerouting brain passageways as they go...so that you can replace much of what has been lost due to the AS...(but still being able to keep the somewhat beneficial analytical skills that many of us have) x

Practise social skills to re-grow """"lost"""" parts of the brain ???? ! !! ! Who said they were """"lost""" and what makes you think they can be "recovered"??? Can you re-grow a pizzeria from an ice cream shop?

i'm pretty sure that the Neurotypical social centre of the brain does not exist in my case, and is filled up with something else, probably, musical stuff like perfect pitch, being able to play "by ear" etc....therefore i had to fill up another part of my brain with social skills, awareness, learning things little by little, like you would learn an instrument...and in the process, i did some pretty big rewiring...sorry to use the word "lost" i should have said "unused" or "placed differently"...so i think at the moment i've probably got some kind of hybrid brain, like a PC that can run both windows and linux ^.^ of course, there's a crap load of depression i have to get rid of, but thatll go if i work hard enough...

all i was trying to say to the original poster was don't give up, you can work on the social stuff if you really want to, and will feel less lonely in life. even if you're only "emulating" NT, when you do it often enough, it becomes quite natural.x

No, you can't rewire your own brain, nor anyone else's.

No, emulating NTs doesn't fool NTs, they still don't like us for reasons that go well beyond social skills, however impeccable those are.

No, you don't live happily ever after when you live your life trying to act like someone you're not and failing miserably (yes, you fail miserably; because nobody can keep a farse forever).

No, you can't ask people on here to shut up their frustration at failing to act NT just because some others here don't want to hear that AS CANNOT BE REVERSED.

right ok, i'll just let you wallow in the hopelessness of it all...i wasn't saying try to become like a reality tv viewing airhead...but it's possible to get over lots of the AS traits (my score goes down every year) and you can meet some nice friendly people and have a happy life.x

AS shouldn't be an excuse not to change. I've kept my values and some problems are here to stay, but I've been able to learn some social skills and work at getting comfortable in situations that would otherwise bother me. So far, things I've accomplished that I didn't think possible are:

-Started going to school away from home.
-Started driving.
-Started dating.

You have to work hard at it though.

yeah blasty, i don't know about you, but i think the hard work pays off and is worth it in the end.x

You bet. I simply got fed up with being the way I was. I didn't enjoy it. So I finally forced myself outside of my comfort zone to start learning how to function in this society. I still have a long road ahead.

Much easier said than done, but well worth it.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt75461.html

excuse me as I'm younger (17) so I have a question: Have you tried looking for females who are like you or odd in general, and more understanding?

there is that 'geek love' ad on the forum and site.



Hmm; odd. I think I did better than I was younger, but then again I dunno. I guess it depend on environment; did odd at college today, but do good alone in crowds downtown..

I like that song.

I've only been diagnosed with AS in the last 4 years or so. When I first found out I had it, I was relived. It explained many of the things I was wondering about. Why reltionships never work out, lack of friends, ect..

Since then I've made people that i want to be friends with about my AS. How I take things literary, and I need people to be honest with me, say what they mean, because I have a hard time reading people, ect..
Most people have tryed to do that. But just about every women I was interested in has sent me mixed signals after I ask them to be straght with me.

I've also tryed to work on myself, be more open to try and read social cues, ect.. But I still can't get it no matter how hard I try. My AS always gets in the way of me having a decent relationship.

Someone else in this thread posted that I may be burned out, frustrated and bitter. I am Sick of this.

But I don't blame my AS for my trouble. Its that way I am I accept it.

I blame God for giving me AS and preventing me from being happy.

To me there is no greater evidence for the none existence of God than the misery of A.S. and other handicaps.

Yep if God made us all perfect, why the hell would he give us AS?

I have been able to get past the social situation as well just by working at it, it is hard but once you have done it it kind of gets easier, and yes you can keep a mask on for a long time. And with me i have many masks that suit the situation, and i can keep them on for quite awhile.

Blaming an invisble man in the guy who sits on a cloud all day isn't really going to get you anywhere, if there is a god he has gone to do some other projects because he is bored with us humans. You may be frustrated but if you keep on doing it you will get somewhere, i did and i'm sure many others on here did as well.

I've read a lot about trying to be more social, taken classes in school about trying to communicate, I thought it all would help. I don't want to be totally negative, I can only say that I am just searching for myself, but myself does not involve being able to deal with a lot of social things. I have a good friend, a couple distant friends, I hardly talk to my family at all, except for my mom. All the others are too much for me 'the popular types' I call them, or as some would say 'very Nt'. I understand I am going to be alone and have accepted it. I have no idea how to meet someone and marry them. I have always wished for that but I don't think it's going to happen, but I still wish. I hate wishing but I do it anyway. I must say though that I try to get along, but I don't try to pretend to be someone else. There are some posters here who say their girlfriend and friends don't understand who they really are and that is more sad than just having a couple friends, like me!

Hi Ken

I think at our age its hard to find someone be you AS or NT or whatever.....However I did manage to find my husband 7 years ago and with three kids in tow. It is possible to find someone you can relate to....dont give up.