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GeneralDisarray
Tufted Titmouse
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05 Oct 2008, 11:20 pm

mac266 wrote:
I talk to peoples' foreheads a lot; it gives the appearance of eye contact and makes most people happy. Others see right through it, though.


I do the same.


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Aurore
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05 Oct 2008, 11:21 pm

I think for me it's been pretty constant, though I didn't have much of an impairment in this area to begin with. Too much eye contact definitely makes me uncomfortable but it isn't difficult for me to look into my fiance's eyes, family members' eyes (well, the ones I'm close with), or generally the eyes of people I trust. That part feels natural.


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06 Oct 2008, 2:37 am

I learned to look at people's faces or their bodies. My mother gave me that advice.

I don't like to look in their eyes. But sadly I couldn't fool my shrink but she said if I was looking at her face, she wouldn't be able to tell.

I can give good eye contact when feeling comfortable. It's like automatic and something inside me works off and on for eye contact.



Amik
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06 Oct 2008, 9:36 am

My eye contact has not really improved. I used to not even look at people's face, but now I watch their mouth because I need to lip read along with listening. That makes most people think I'm making eye contact even though I'm not.

I only make real eye contact when I'm really comfortable with someone, which doesn't happen with many people.



ToughDiamond
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06 Oct 2008, 10:12 am

I have no idea how to time "normal" eye contact. But I can easily do a threat stare if somebody angers me, that's much easier because there's no need to worry about it going on too long 8) There have been times when some bully or other has thought I'm a convenient scapegoat, only to find I'm not the ideal subject, so they've backed off. I think the threat stare has a lot to do with that, it's the last thing they're expecting from somebody who seems afraid to face them. Apparently staring is a competitive way of resolving a conflict - some animals do the same thing - the first one to avert their gaze loses the contest. Looking away is a signal of submission.

As for the friendly eye contact, I just keep forgetting to bother, and don't feel confident that I'd be able to look away quickly enough. It seems very invasive. Close partners I've had more success with - I think that's because it's hard for it to be taken as too intimate. But I still forget.

It's supposed to be good advice to break eye contact if you're in a heated argument with somebody you don't actually want to declare war on.



Loli-kun
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24 Dec 2009, 12:00 am

Yaxkukmo wrote:
I have actually overcome my aversion to making eye contact. Here's how I did it: I started wearing makeup and mixing and matching men's and women's clothing, i.e., basically I started cross dressing. What this did is it forced me to make eye contact with people because I had 'chosen' to make myself the visual focal point in any room I might be in. After doing this for about six months I found that eye contact did not elicit a threat response in me and I found myself smiling when NT's would catch my gaze and turn away as if the were AS. Not saying this will work for every guy out there, but it helped me. I still wear makeup and trans-clothing even though I am not gay nor fem. I just figure that if I am forever on the outside I might as well do what NT's can't: buck the norm.

Hmm... wow yeah after reading this I noticed that when I'm crossdressing my eye contact is much better. Though I am extremely Feminine lol!


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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
(Excerpt From "Alone" By E.A. Poe)