AS and being androgynous

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Not if I can avoid it.

Although I didn't realize until a couple of years ago, I've had "gender issues" my whole life. I am a male, a very sensitive one who enjoys feeling close to people emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I've had alternate periods of hanging out with strictly males and strictly females. I find then many men are hard to talk to when it comes to personal things. Men are great at joking around and at talking about interests such as sports and politics, but many of my male friends still leave me feeling distant, unless they are close friends of several years, and there have only been 3-5 of those throughout my entire life excluding family, and I have since moved on from all but two of them.

On the other hand, I can be very aggressive at times, and I love sports. Always have. I'm also fairly crude and unkempt, which I give myself permission to be because I am a man, even though I hate that men are associated with slobbery. I really despise the idea that men are supposed to be aggressive, mean, egotistical... especially sexually, but otherwise as well, even though I admit to having those inclinations sometimes. I've always been so jealous of feminine beauty. Most people would describe me as more of a "pretty boy," so at least I have that going for me, but I will never be as attractive as a beautiful woman, which saddens me. Maybe it's just hormones messing with my head... maybe it's society. Our society worships the female for beauty and sophistication and the male for power and intelligence. I'm just greedy and I want it all. I am also very sad whenever I think about the fact that I will never physically bear a child, which is fairly often. I hope I get over it one day, but I think I will always feel a bit cheated as a man. I'm sure there are plenty of women who see men playing football or studying computers (not that women CAN'T do these things, but you know) whose feelings mirror mine. Such is life. Sex is such a mind-****... I guess that's kind of the point. If you believe in dualism, we were separated so that we could never be whole without uniting with the opposite gender. It sucks not to be whole.

The pursuit of wholeness is the pursuit of God, whatever name you choose to call Him by.

*wrests the pulpit* Not PPR. Bad.

Butch, it was interesting to read your post... I've always been one fascinated by beauty, although not in emulating in the vestige of self. I know my features are distinct, but otherwise unremarkable - a thankful balance to my stature that allows me to sometimes blend into the background and observe. Over the years, I have experience pangs of sadness that it is something to only be known through observation, but it also most precious kept in that regard. My personality walks both sides of the lines, with some admittedly feminine mannerisms and expressions coming out of a predominantly masculine shell. I appreciate it, though... there are some aspects in a relationship that are more easily understood by sharing those thoughts and concerns.


M.

I'm glad you found my post interesting and thanks for sharing your thoughts.

the pop scene and Thailand is full with androgynous looking boys bands

I can only speak for myself, but I am an androgynous aspie.

David Bowie and Mick Jagger were in the sixties (they even went to bed with each other), but that's a long time ago
dunno if they were aspies

Last edited by Loborojo on 28 Sep 2008, 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'll admit that I've often been mistakened for a woman as, somehow my low voice quality must appear to most persons as being female but, in a physical sense I'm male.Oh Well, I do try to speak as clearly and coherently as possible but, I'm not going to go out of my way to make someone happy so, if I sound like a foghorn so be it..

I am.

I have occasionally been taken for a guy, but oddly enough only when I have been very depressed, but generally I am not. However my internal mental state is such that when I read the sentence on WP a lttle over a year ago "I feel like a gay guy in a woman's body" I knew I had found kindred spirits!!

I realised only very recently that an awful lot of what most women "do", ( the heels, the make-up, the tight clothing, the jewellery, the giggles and gossip), which seems so alien and difficult to me, comes easily to them. I have often felt more at ease in the company of men than with a group of women. But my closest one-to-one friends have been women, many/most with similar issues!

I do not like most trad women's clothing. I like to dress in androgynous clothing, not even just jeans and T-shirts, but stuff which hides that my body has a sex. Loose baggy/wide/floaty trousers and shirts.

And I am attracted to both sexes, mostly in a platonic fashion, but with equal "passion". As if someone I am drawn to could be either sex; it's not important.

.

I... don't... know...

I look pretty feminine, with ridiculously fast growing facial hair. As for psychologically, I dunno... I have some pretty strong feminine traits, but there are male traits too.

And kathoey.

indeed Kathoey. Did you know that this year in many government schools they have now provided toilets for Kathoeys at school to prevent harassment from bot girls or boys when using them The percentage of Kathoeys in school is high, I had a kathoey boy in my class, he was only 11 and very bright and smart. The girls liked him and in fact none of the other boys discriminated him.

Something the world could learn from!

Indeed. Around other testosterone-fuelled berks teens here tend to be stuck on an as-straight-as-possible model, but can tolerate homosexuality when it's there, right in front of them. Most confusing.

I'm tolerant of homosexuality and homosexuals, though I admit it is a challenge at times.

Behaviorially, I'm fairly androgynous. However, physically I'm pretty feminine even with my new very short haircut. I'm bisexual, so I feel like how I gender neutral I seem mentally kinda fits, though I dislike the whole someone in the relationship is always gendered stereotype.

Last edited by Ryn on 28 Sep 2008, 6:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.