Does anyone here actually not desire social contact?

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i love cats.
if i meet a cat i admire the cat very much.
i never saw a cat that i did not find aristocratic in personality.

i had cats when i was a child. i so very much adored our cats.

but where i live now, cats could not be welcome.
if i know the cat, then i will adopt him as a friend, but if it is a stranger cat that comes into my yard with all the birds and possums etc, then it will be chased off with verve.

i do not want to hurt the cat or impinge upon it's environmental territory, but it will not enter my property at this time due to my refusal. my intention is final.

I have my waves of not wanting to wanting.

I learned to expect misunderstanding and abuse, but you know what? I just learned whatever. Try to learn the language and just move on.

I agree with b9 in that I also prefer the company of animals and find them to be complately honest and unthreatening.

my friends find it extremely odd, in fact they say that one of my biggest quirks is that if we go somewhere together and I notice an animal of any sort I immediately loose all interest in the conversation and just care about the animal lol

i agree with you.
simple animals fill your heart with trust and they assure you that you are needed.

humans are all tangled and distorted

Daniel aren't you in a online relationship?

I don't doubt that you don't like socialising though.

I tend to prefer to be alone. I seem to be able to handle one intimate relationship at a time. If I have an SO, I'm abysmal at keeping up my friendships. If I'm single I can manage one good friendship. If too many people "need" me I go into meltdown mode.

I can do online friendships because they require much less. Post now and then and it's good. You don't have to show up for their birthdays, you don't have to have coffee with them, you just see them in your own good time.

I do have a need to connect with a person. But not multiple people. I just can't. Don't really want to even. Right now I'm struggling with it, but don't know how to change it. It's the way I've always been (and always have been accused of being selfish and narcissistic because I can't take care of other people). Really I want it to be ok to ignore the world. I want to be able to just go home after work (or, in my dream world, be working from home too) and not have to talk to anyone else. Maybe my SO, but that would be it. Don't have to go out unless I want to, etc.

I don't like feeling "needed". I don't like feeling like I'm responsible for anyone else's happiness. I don't mind talking to friends from time to time but I don't want to have to meet up with them and I want that to be ok. Scratch that, I think I believe I should want friends. When I really think on it, I don't. I just want people to like me, to think I'm likable, but I don't want their actual friendship. (does that make any sort of sense?)

Let's face it, the hidden agenda behind all human interaction is "How can I get this person to do what I want, but not look bad as a result?"

I've been to sooooo many concerts, parties, get togethers. It's not like I am undersocialized.
Typical me at a party:
Find a room with very few people in it. If there is a pet who likes me, interact with the pet. If there is an interesting book, read the book. If there is nothing going on stare at the wall. If someone attempts to interact with me mumple something their way, looking at everything but them while doing this. People tell me I seem bored.
Most of the time I am thinking about things I could be doing besides being at the party.
Once a band my friend knew and was a huge fan of was at this party and she thought it was weird I wasn't trying to socialize with the band.
People I know get pissed at me for not interacting with people when they interact with me. Oh, and something else...friends have made friends with the people that tried to interact with me. They step in with the right small talks and smiles and outgoingness that I lack. My evasive looks, depressed demeanors and mumples get overlooked while better skills from others I am with get the responses. I can tell what's going on, just really tough to change how I am. Even if I did try to be like them I think it would just look contrived and fake, manipulative and glib.
I think I am lucky people have attempted communication in the first place and leave it at that. Or else it was fake to begin with. I never can tell, lol.
Oh well, at least I got to go, be with them and have fun with them even if I didn't say much and looked like I would rather be doing anything else.

Generally, I have no desire for social contact. I would be perfectly content living completely alone with a pack of dogs and some cats, living in a lighthouse... *sigh*

I do desire a solid group of friends-- people who I could actually relate to and vice versa. Those people are rare and I know I usually don't come across them. So I'm just fine with being a hermit most of the time. I could live with or without friends, I think.

It isn't necessarily that I hate social contact, period.. I just hate the whole dance that goes with it. Small talk, trying to figure out your place and what they think of you, stupid social outings that most enjoy and require for "friendship". I just want uncomplicated, real companionship (like I said above, a nice solid group of friends to talk to occasionally would be more than enough)

I've decided it's impossible to find a compatible "friend", but I don't know what to do with my lonely heart : s
I'm still rediculously love-sick I think it's only purpose is to frustrate me or something lol