Can one have both AS and NT traits?

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It was because of how the other kids, especially some of the teachers treated me for having the AS label when I was very young. They treated me like sub-human dirt basically and thought I was "diseased". Back then, they thought that I needed "fixing" and had "no hope at all of being successful".

I'm sorry, but that's why whenever I ever hear the words "Asperger's Syndrome" it feels like I'm being kicked in the stomach hard.

When the AS label was removed, I was treated much better and people respected me more.

That's a bit confusing, Amber. So, you are saying they misdiagnosed you? I don't think you can blame the label. It's the teachers. They weren't treating you as an individual. They were stereotyping you.

This was a long time ago, over 10 years ago actually, so things may have changed since then.
The AS label was phrased very negatively. Basically take most aspects of my personality, make them negative and you have the AS label. A list of things I was impaired in or "couldn't" do. All negatives, no positives at all. I found that hurtful.

Yes they were stereotyping me. I see that now. But back then it was tricky to determine what was really going on. When you're the only person you know of that has a mysterious "illness" that no one will tell you about properly or even explain and you're a small child, it's very easy to believe that there is something wrong with you because you have no other point of reference.

To this day I have no idea whether they misdiagnosed me or not. I am confused about my real identity because people seemed to have been hiding things from me over the years. So yes it is very confusing! Some people still think I'm AS, others don't. My dx (actually an informal assessment) seems to be in contention. Some doctors believe that I've "grown-out" of my symptoms. My family just think that I'm me and don't like me to have the AS label, because having it would mean stigma from other people which would thus limit my chances in life. Actually, they have a point.

I still have real social issues though and these were probably aggravated by my mistreatment all those years ago.

Hey, based on the responses quite a few people have both traits (rather than dominantlyAS or NT).

Okay never been accused of being a jerk so that would be an easy rule to comply with!

I know exactly what you mean, sometimes I am observing conversations happening as if I am not even present in the social setting. Then I jump in with some random, whatever happened to me in my life or that week - I always smile and laugh (not forced just naturally, I think this is cultural and how I was brought up) and people let me into the conversation - or a new thread starts which includes me - it is like doing a comedy show, but subtly. I have an AS friend (he is predominantly AS) who used to do this and it used to go wrong but he now knows how to read people better and what not to say - oh he doesn't do the comedy act.


Come on, I never thought I had AS perception (okay partly because until recently didn't know what AS was). I think it is cool, how people are so different, a bit of both and then essentially the same (please don't point out the flaw in my logic - I can see it as I type! )



Like it! Cool observation!

Thanks Spokane_Girl, nice to be able to relate to a similar experience.


I am so sorry, I was not meaning to pry into painful past. The things is I don't judge people and hate labelling people and sometimes I forget how cruel the world can be. People see anything is different as negative rather than exciting and an opportunity to learn new things. Am I making sense? I love hanging out with people who are different from me, be it personality, culture ..you learn so much! It is great! Sorry, I am hyper-active and get accused of being optimist all the time. The point you make is very valid. Well hopefully world will become gradually more educated on AS.

That doesn't sound like a fun time, AmberEyes
I got this idea while reading what you typed. Maybe, what happened, was you got the AS dx and after your parents saw how it was affecting you, they decided to de-emphasize your diagnosis. They also saw how your teachers were affecting you and had conferences with them in private so they would change how they interacted with you and it worked! Maybe they don't like to talk about it with you nowadays because they know how you feel about it?
They want to respect your wishes.

I'm trying to find ways in which this test is biased...
I can't interpret your results. My parents deny anything I say about myself, or doctors say, or whatever. ("I don't see that in you")

I guess my results could be biased from my panic disorder.

Wow, that's amazing and totally cool! You are, like, 100 % Aspie!! !! Congratulations, man!! !!

I fell I have a 'foot in both worlds'

That's the most 'aspie'ish I can portray myself without being dishonest!

Your Aspie score: 116 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

I'm still socially retarted even with 90 NT points.

Yes you can. Everyone's autism is different. For instance, I do okay with eye contact and recognising basic body language, but I'm hyper sensitive to sound and I HATE change and I stim.

I don't really want to hi-jack this thread, but I have a few questions.

Oh yes my parents had conferences with the teachers alright, but both sides disagreed on many things.

My parents made the point that I was never told any of the "targets" I was supposed to "achieve" or told explicitly that I had to "socialise" so it was unfair that the teachers were marking me down for socialising when they hadn't told me explicitly to do so. My parents did have a point.

Ive tended to do much better in environments where the expectations and ethos was strong and clear. One school I went to (after the AS label was removed) even had a "Non-Bullying Code" to sign and told kids explicitly what bullying was. Preventing bullying and helping others out was clearly defined in our school diaries and hammered into us honestly in assemblies with stories told by charismatic characters. Hence I knew what to do and expect. The whole ethos was a kind of "All for one and one for all" or "Help others succeed and you will succeed" thing, which I liked. It was all so honest and genuine too, which was brilliant. There was also a clearly defined support network.

My Primary School only really played lip-service to this ethos and all sorts of unreported bullying happened every day in the background. There was no clear ethos at all.

What worked? What are you trying to say here?

Are you trying to say that people lied about my dx being removed and lied that I'd "got better" so that I'd behave better? Very sneaky if that's true, but perhaps that's only one part of the story? The thing is I never got "better" at all. I was still the same person, I still made the same mistakes every now and then.

One of my parents doesn't believe AS exists at all and was just a ploy for the school to make money, there other one probably does, so the situation is tricky. Of course they know that my past upsets me: that's why we never talk about it, try to forget about it and move on as if there wasn't really a problem and as if nothing had happened.

This thing is, now something is holding me back socially and we don't know what to do about it.

So do I.

I wish other people would too.
Surely people get bored with hanging around the same group of people all the time?

I would like to be as optimistic as you too (I used to be, but I've become a bit cynical over the years: I'm trying to change this).

I hope the world and myself get more educated about AS too.

It is complicated.

The school you found that had the "no bullying" policy and clear expectations sounds like a good place. I wish I could have gone to one like that.

During gradeschool, I was terrified of changing schools. Throughout my childhood I had this unexplained panic or fear of the unknown. That's one of the reasons I did not want to be held back and kept in the same grade the next school year. My situation was atypical in more ways than one. Let me briefly explain:

My dob is a day after the last day a student is allowed to enroll in kindergarten. My mom talked the place I attended Kindergarten (it was a kindergarten center and not a conventional k thru 6 gradeschool) into taking me regardless. My mom later questioned if she should have waited a year and vaguely lamented the decision not to wait. Because of this, she rationalized, I was immature compared to the kids in my class and this is why I was doing so terribly. This was my reason for failing, both socially and academically, according to her.

I still remember the conference but not really the grade and I can also recall my reactions : confusion, indignation and complete mortification. I didn't think I deserved to be held back since I was the one trying my best to make friends only to be treated horribly and back stabbed. I associated being held back a grade with flunking classes and failing. To me it was a punishment, and a redundancy, not a stepping stone in the right direction.

To add insult to injury, I couldn't fathom having to do the exact same assignments over again for an entire schoolyear, either. There were some activities I liked doing over and over. Boring school work was definitely not one!

Why should I be the one going through this when I haven't done anything? kept ruminating in my head. I knew they didn't think I was too bright (they were completely wrong about that!) but did they seriously think I would fall for this ruse of theirs? No chance! Suddenly, I realized for the first time: We were not all on the same side. They were not in favor of me learning. They were in favor of me having a complete and utter nervous breakdown and wouldn't be satisfied until I did.
I wasn't about to let it happen and it didn't. So much for another lousy chapter in my tumultuous book of school.

I didn't realize your parents lied to you about having AS. I thought they stopped bringing it up around you and bothering you with constant talk of it. If they did lie to you, it might have not really been a lie. You typed one of your parents didn't believe that AS is real. Maybe that parent had an argument with the other one and they agreed to dismiss the diagnosis? They probably thought it was in your best interest.
Do you still have problems socializing? Me too.

Yes I realise I was very lucky to go to that High School. Things may have been very different if I'd gone somewhere else. Here are a few reasons why I think that I was able to succeed at that school. The School was/had:

-Small 1000 students max.

-Clear, well written rules of conduct written/said in prominent places (diaries, hallways, assemblies)

-Strong ethos of respect with a charismatic and honest Head Teacher at the helm.

-The Special Ed department was called "Learning Support". No one was aware of others labels. The kids in the department helped organise materials and were given positions of responsibility. Some of these kids went on to achieve some very high academic grades.

-A well defined support network of teachers and staff.

-A "No bullying code". We accepted that bullying did happen and followed clear proceedures on how to deal with it. Everyone had to sign the pledge. If you didn't sign the pledge, you basically spiritually weren't part of the school.

-A fun, friendly, easy going atmosphere. Teachers were friends with the students and viewed as part of their friendship network.

-Challenging activities to stretch all students regardless of academic ability

-School uniform so everyone felt like they belonged to the school

-Years were never re-sat. You had to move up a year with your peers regardless of ability.

-Everyone was supposed to be in it together and on the same side.

-Strong Arts, humanities and Music department. Cultural awareness built into the curriculum with lots of guest speakers/theatre/fieldtrips.

-Strong Maths and Science departments.

The school wasn't perfect though (I had the odd bad day and difficulties), but came pretty close at times.
Private places to retreat, unique solo study projects would have been nice for me, but I appreciate that the school probably didn't have the budget for these things.




I'm not sure if my parents did mean to "lie" as such. Perhaps they were just as confused at the time and were asking questions like:
"How can our daughter, who takes after us, be doing so badly in primary school?"

Sometimes it is partly the school environment that is an issue.

I'm very sorry to hear about your childhood experiences. It sounds like you were trying your best, but others weren't prepared to acknowledge that or listen. It sounds like you were very unlucky with the Kindergarten start date, so I don't believe that that part of it was your fault.

Sometimes, unfortunately, the school and the parents are not on the same side or have the same views.
I really feel for the situations you described. it doesn't sound like the other kids were prepared to make the effort to get to know you or be friendly.

Some schools want kids to fit in and compliant. Teachers believe that well behaved, socialised kids are easier to teach and are generally happier. With larger class sizes and an "open plan" classroom of course being sociable is seen as an asset. The problem with "fitting-in" is that often one's individuality has to be sacrificed. Some kids are just different.

Oh yes my parents argued. But then again wouldn't you argue too if you honestly couldn't see anything wrong with your daughter because you shared lots of personality traits with your daughter?

As a parent, it must be tough to see one's personality traits and strengths written down as a set of "impairments" to be "corrected". It must be awful. They must have had arguments about me. I certainly heard arguments.

I don't have so many problems socialising with very close friends and family. I have noticed that they always tend to initiate the conversation for me though. After they've initiated and I feel comfortable with them, I'm usually alright.

I'm afraid I can't seem to be able to chat to strangers, especially more than one at a time at social gatherings. Hence cocktail parties would be a nightmare for me.

Your Aspie score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 57 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

I think you are socially very apt, polite and friendly! Well that is my opinion anyway!