For those Aspies least affected by social prob, what r they?

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Shiggily
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12 Dec 2008, 8:31 pm

Callista wrote:
A lot of the time, Aspies with good social skills will have as a main problem the exhaustion that comes from thinking very hard in order to socialize. Even when they socialize well, they have to try very hard to do it, and it takes up a lot more of their effort than most people; and there is a persistent feeling of acting a part or pretending to be somebody else.

But remember that your level of skill at socializing is fairly unrelated to the amount of distress from social problems. By all accounts, my social skills are quite horrible (I don't know how bad they are because I actually don't have enough insight to know!), and I have little or no social contact most weeks; but I also have very little actual distress associated with my isolation. On the other hand, people who are clumsy, sensitive extroverts will have the social skills I have by the time they are half my age, but probably a great deal more distress. Social phobia will vastly increase an Aspie's trouble with social situations, whatever his actual level of skill.


I can socialize but many times the act of doing so will cause me significant stress to the point that I either get a horrific headache or I leave right in the middle to be alone.



Richard99
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13 Dec 2008, 1:42 pm

I think that we tend to have comfort zones - places or situations in which we feel safe. As long as are inside our comfort zones we are ok, but we can't live our whole lives inside our comfort zones.

For example, my job - even though it is difficult - is a comfort zone because my condition doesn't get in the way of my doing it. I can spend pretty much the whole of every day in comfort zones as long as I don't try to socialise much or do anything outside my usual routines. The challenge for the higher functioning Aspie is to challenge the comfort zones and do something you wouldn't normally do, and maybe become a little stronger in the process.



Mysty
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13 Dec 2008, 1:53 pm

Richard99 wrote:
I think that we tend to have comfort zones - places or situations in which we feel safe. As long as are inside our comfort zones we are ok, but we can't live our whole lives inside our comfort zones.

For example, my job - even though it is difficult - is a comfort zone because my condition doesn't get in the way of my doing it. I can spend pretty much the whole of every day in comfort zones as long as I don't try to socialise much or do anything outside my usual routines. The challenge for the higher functioning Aspie is to challenge the comfort zones and do something you wouldn't normally do, and maybe become a little stronger in the process.


Interesting thought.

And sometimes by challenging one's comfort zone one finds a new comfort zone. As in, trying something new is stepping out of ones comfort zone, but sometimes, in doing so, one finds a new situations where one is comfortable being oneself. Speaking from experience. :)