Why do we get lost in our own worlds so often?

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I had one person describe as "in my own world" which I thought was amusing. I often wonder why people don't notice. I'm constantly thinking about thing and imagining, and the outside world is an annoying and subpar distraction. My best friend is my own mind. No one I've spoken with has ever interested me as much as the thoughts and ideas in my mind.

Unfortunately, sometimes the need to imagine becomes so overwhelming that I'm distracted and can't really make myself do what I need to do. That's the only time it's frustrating.

Well, I read this whole thread, and I don't fully understand what you(collectively) are talking about:

1. Hyperfocus(that some seem to talk about)
2. Zoning out(still others)
3. Almost like a lucid dream, but during the day, when awake.

At least, to a degree, I had all of those. At least 3 times I had friends say that they saw me, etc... and I didn't see them(I knew that, at each time, I was hyperfocused.). I KNOW that is the case. My mother told me once, after the fact, that Christina Applegate(the actress) was in front of me in a line at the airport. I never noticed. Of course, maybe my mother was totally wrong, and a lot of actors and actresses(ESPECIALLY actresses) dress down. With zoning out, I guess that is why I was diagnosed ADHD. As for the lucid dreams, of a sort, they USUALLY start out because I want them to or because of unresolved problems/concerns, but they can grow their own life.

Do you people mean something else?

2ukenkerl, I can't speak for everyone but what I am talking about is a general detachement from the real world. It maybe hyperfocus at times or it may be zoning out .. ect.. but I just in general have a hard time paying attention to real life. I forget to do common things that a regular person can do by habit. I can be listening to someone talk without hearing a word of what they said. I can step over a mess in the hallway without ever seeing it...

I was just thinking of starting a thread on this very topic to see how much everyone else seems to space out, because I know that I sure have a tendency to do so.

I have several different levels of what looks to other people as being lost in my own world. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. The first level isn't spacing out at all, but looks like it to others. It's where I'm so fascinated with something that I'm locked into it. Usually a pattern that I see, or some small detail that others won't even notice. When I'm hyperfocused on something like this I'm still aware of what's going on around me, I'm just not attending to anything else at that moment. The second level, is where I'm thinking about something so intently that I'm not paying a bit of attention to anything going on around me. The third is something else entirely. This level is one in which I have checked out, and am nowhere to be found. This one isn't purposeful, or even something that I know is happening. This kind of spacing out has almost gotten me fired before,as my bosses think that I'm intentionally ignoring them. When in this level I'm not thinking, feeling, or doing anything.

I used to get scolded a lot for being not paying attention to what was going on around me. As a lady, my father thought that I was for sure going to get hurt, because of this obliviousness that I always seemed to be in. I can understand now why he was concerned. I can only pay attention to one thing at a time, and usually it's not the thing that most people would put up there on a scale of important things that need to be noticed. I won't usually notice what people around me are doing for instance, I'll only pay attention to what I'm doing or thinking.

^^ very interesting serenity. I wouldn't really say that any of those levels desribe me. Well, I mean your desription of 'level two' is me whenever I am doing anything.. I can only focus on one thing at a time. And I would never really say that I am ever at your 'level three' where I will not even hear anyone speak (unless of course I am focusing on something else). I would say that my common mind state is something different entirely. I'm here, I can see you, I can talk to you. But I'm not entirely here. I don't feel like I'm part of the real world.. its elusive.

So yes I can have hyperfocus and I can space out. But even just at any given time I am usually in a fog of detachement and it is very exhausting (and impossible, even) for me to pay attention to everything going on around me, or things I'm supposed to be remembering to do.



Does that make me sound like a spazz?

Well, I have hyperfocused. I describe that as setting your mind to a task and filtering out even some OBVIOUS stuff, like the time I was driving, and failed to notice a friend waving, etc... You may not even EAT or DRINK! I have Zoned out also. I describe that as basically staring, but not concentrating on your normal senses. What you would normally see, even perhaps a hand waved in front of you, may not be seen or may be ignored. Some want to claim that it is a kind of sleep even though you are conscious, but time might fly by very fast.

As for the "listening" without hearing, I USED to be able to get information from 2 audible sources, but people ALWAYS insisted that I listen only to them. My mother spoke about inane thing ENDLESSLY! I think I learned to have to concentrate on each word. So I guess I have CAPD in ALL ways.

BTW women apparently often blame this on a problem inherent in males. I believe that is a total MYTH! I HAVE noticed that a lot of women are like my mother though, and toby keith wrote a song about it! Maybe THEY encourage the problem. Of course, men can talk a lot about sports, etc.... so I am not about to say they are innocent.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYrlzEUuBIM[/youtube]

I don't care why it happens but I would like it to not happen at work.
I am generally fine with losing myself in my thoughts because when I talk about it out loud I make people laugh, I would come up with an example but I can't remember any.

I guess I am lucky, because zoning out is about the only thing that could hit a limit I can't defend, and I am aware of when it starts, and CAN get out of it. The hyperfocus is something I don't do at work so much because I end up giving people too much. If I DO do it though, I can defend it. The virtual reality type deal usually happens away from work, but I could probably explain that also. Besides, if someone mistreats me, or lies, it is AMAZING what I can recall/figure out through a kind of virtual life. I even try to run through virtual scenarios to see how they might react to a certain approach. Still, usually, I don't seem out of it. It is only when a kind of hyperfocus picks up that it looks bad.

Incredible stuff being written here. Thank you everyone.

Why do we get lost in our own worlds so often. This is what happens in my brain.


I think I am trying to understand everything at once.

It is not so narrow a focus, I believe, as that away from the interactions with others, in my head and off into the universe, I am cross connecting as many associations as possible, into the new perspective I am creating with currently being spoken of material.

Each perspective has to be linked with surrounding understanding.

If something is not understood, then that perspective goes in to the realm of confused none connective responses. Meaning that, until I learn to understand a lesson, or reasoning behind and that makes up a perspective, i can not make the proper associative connections.

All of this is going on when I am listening, if the concept that is present, like a odd response, is small enough, then I stay fully active in the conversation, so that I can learn why that response occurred, so that I can understand and move on.

If the concept is huge, my focus moves further and further from conscious interactions, as I try to learn, conceive, or categorize, the situation, for the betterment of my over all awareness into what is happening around me.

I am just a really lost woman, trying to find her way home, through as many associative links as I can possibly put together. Sadly, i fear, I may never make a large enough associative net of perspectives, to make up for the warped lens at the fore of my brain.

So we leave as we need, for the proper understanding to occur, as in the larger meaning of our own personal lives and existence.

That is what happen to me.

Agree with a great thread. Simply put, I feel more safe, loved, less lonely, and more successful in my world.

It doesn't bother my work, as long as the work is interesting. With interesting work, I space-out much less, and can produce amazing work in little time (a positive AS trait?). It's the tedious and boring tasks where I tend to space-out which then leads to procrastination. I suppose we should preoccupy ourselves with interesting occupations, and if the activities include human contact, it may help lead more fulfilling lives.

^^well put Alisscious, although somewhat cryptically I think I see what you mean and yeah, that's definitely the sort of situation I often find myself in.

unfortunately when I think that I'm starting to have and understanding but want to ask further questions I find that everyone else have already moved on with the conversation...

Basically for me things just work out better in my own mind than they do in reality. If something happens and I'm dissapointed by it I can 're-write history' in my mind to make me feel better.
I often think about future events too, which someone once pointed out is an aspie coping mechanism. One example is seeing my self in the future being successful, instead of sitting on the couch doing nothing.
I also have a never ending story in my mind that I usually focus on when alone and even at times while in the company of other people.
And if bored in a conversation I can just zone out.
I do like my mind better because I can decide what happens, unlike what happens in most real life situations.

i am not "lost" in my own world. i know where i am going in my thoughts.

but i have not the mental thrust to reach the escape velocity of my own gravity a lot of the time.

it is too much of a chore for me to focus on a persons dialogue most of the time.
it is like trying to read something 3" in front of my eyes.
it is a strain to keep focus, and i let my eyes go into a relaxed blur as soon as i can if i have to read close up print.

it is the same or worse with my mind when i have to focus on someone else's dialogue. i will just let go of the topic suddenly and blur my mind off to easier thoughts that occur in my own world. they see it as seriously rude.

my attention snaps away from someones story like an elastic band snaps. it is instantaneous and i go into my own zone and ponder my own pursuits.

but it is others who see that as "zoning out" because for me it is "zoning in" to my true intended focus.

Too funny Anna. Cryptic is the perfect word. It is simply the best way I have to really explain my thought to though process. Thank you though.

Yeah, I agree, they have moved on. Also though. I find that I sometimes get so involved in figuring something out, that I go a million different places, and then forget what started me trying to understand in the first place.

In that case, sometime later, be it minutes or years, the topic will resurface in my mind, as an understood idea. Then I remember the conversation that started the quest, and I go, ooohhhhh, That is what they meant, or that is what that meant.

I actually like this method, because I usually end up making far more deep connections, when it takes a long time for me to connect more perspectives to an idea, rather than forming the smaller pods of thought on the spot. Yet it takes the smaller thought pods, to connect into a greater web of understanding.

Oh, I know, I am writing what I see in my head. I see this brilliant movie that has 4-d depth and interconnectiveness, it can be hard to describe a beautiful storm, high above the not yet touched, peaceful valley hill, which has a soft willow growing next to a creek. Hard to explain, because, most of it I am just discovering in the terms of words.

WP is the first place I have ever been able to write about my world.

And yes, this all pertains to getting lost in my own world. HA! I am still on topic. *neener neener*

*giggles and waves to everyone*

I think it's our way of escaping from the world and avoiding stress. It happens to me and going into my own world helps me.