Not knowing your whole life VS Knowing at an early age +/-s

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Surely!

I think I understand what people are saying about "getting some hard experience", but I don't think getting hard experience is the opposite of "being coddled", which is what seems to be being implied. Someone can be "not coddled" without necessarily having to have a bad time of childhood. I would not wish the social aspects of my childhood on anyone (although in absolute terms they weren't that bad) and I certainly wouldn't expect it to make someone a "better person". Such social and coping skills as I have are despite being exposed to people being obnoxious, not thanks to them. The only things you really need to learn about the harshness of the world are, in my opinion: a) some people are nasty b) they don't need a reason and c) the world itself is utterly impartial. You don't need an, ah, drawn-out course in horribleness to teach you that.

Also like neshamaruach says I don't think that children diagnosed early at the present are being coddled, or at least not the ones I know. I work in a school where there's quite a lot of kids with SEN of one kind or another and though they're given a lot of support, they're not insulated from the world around them or from their peers. I don't get the impression that they're getting to 16 in a happy bubble. I appreciate I'm seeing the higher functioning end of things, though, but I see myself-as-I-was sometimes.

Pfft, well, anyway. I'm thirty-something and have been trying all my life to make sense of the disconnect between me and the people around me. Suddenly having something I can point at, something that covers everything "wrong" with me, something that is not unique to my own stupid head and that other people have coped with and are coping with, is pretty liberating. In a strange sort of reversal, it's making me feel a lot better about socialising and social interaction, like I finally have full license to attempt these things on my own terms, and not have to try "the ordinary way" and fail and feel bad about it every time.

Exactly.

As to being DX'd at an earlier age, yes I think I would have appreciated that. Even though there weren't drugs and treatments back then, at least I would have understood myself better.

The problem is you give a statement lumping "them" all together.

It's the Black Welfare Queen problem, where the truth is (or at least was in the US when an actual study was done, don't know about current numbers) that "typical" welfare recipient is a white rural pregnant females and was only on the dole around 3 years.

In short, it's a prejudice towards a situation that can, and likely does exist to some extent, isn't nearly as clear cut to happen as the picture you've built up in your mind.

Further, it is a potential outcome that is mitigable and often avoidable.

I sometimes think being coddled is under-rated. I was coddled until I was about 3-4years old, and it worked out well. I was confident and secure, exceptionally well-behaved, and quite easily bidden (although prone to excessive questioning).

I think there is a difference between coddling and spoiling, the latter is a problem, but the earlier works well for some people.

It is an extract of a motivational statement from Disney to his employees.

By accounts he was a dick, certainly to work for (and partner with), and had a far less than a flawless personality. He was quite a hard driving man and that can be a determent to treating other people "kindly"...come to think of it that's a topic around here, no? I wouldn't hold him up as an example of "model your life after this guy". It is kinda sad that he gets linked to the statement.

Last edited by DwightF on 08 Jan 2009, 6:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Exactly, and then there is the even less "red" word of support. It is an extremely poor way to make someone stronger by kicking them in the teeth over and over, and the strength they do come away with tends to be narled, bitter one that comes with a bitter, twisted view of the world.

It's sad to see that. To sense the years of pain endured.

Greentea, you claim to not be bitter but just have different experiences. Did it ever occur to you that your view of the world is coloured with bitterness because of that very experiences you talk about? Our experiences are part of what mould us. Chronic pain, defeat after defeat, getting figuratively kicked in the teeth over and over leaves it's scars. Often crippling ones.

<double post>

Ahh... that I was not aware of, thanks for the bit.

Same sort of thing with Henry Ford... he's held up as a "role model" by a lot of folks... there's that story about a reporter having called him an ignoramus and his having accepted the "challenge" and then after several minutes of interview and not being able to answer any of the reporter's questions he stood up and said "I may not know the answer to any of these questions you're asking, but in 5 minutes I can find someone who does". Same sort of deal -- the idea of being resourceful is good to remember, although ultimately the man himself was a dick who paid his employees very little and ignored their working conditions while he got rich on their backs.

Interesting what people are saying about Walt Disney and Henry Ford. In addition to being all-around jerks, they were also anti-semites. Both of them.

Odd thing is antisemetism is just as prevelant today as it has been before, just in a different form. Can't think of examples right now though... I try not to think about stuff like that.

No matter where you go there will always be Jew haters and n****r haters and Spic haters and Ginney haters and I've forgotten a lot of the titles. It never made much sense to me and thats the best part of being on the spectrum since you're not influenced by the insanity of regular people.

I have known I have AS my whole life (or atleast for the part of 13 years I can acutally remember). Up until I was about 9 or 10 I didn't realise that I was any different. It has only been in the past 3 or 4 years that I've acutally understood how having AS effects me compared to everyone else.

^ my personal story ^

Aspies lack the racist gene.

*cough*BS

If your only sin was to vehemently hate only 0.5% of the world population, provided you didn't go out and actively try to kill or harm them (the Dearborn Independent's official line was non-violence...though it's arguable that was partially superficial) then IMO that isn't exactly the worst thing a person could do. It isn't a good thing either, and not something that I've often seen come in isolation in a person's behavior.