Worst experience you've had due to your aspieness?

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah, I'm similarly undiagnosed so I can't give you any advice one way or another about what that incident might mean, but I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been in this exact situation. At least once a day for the past fifteen years or so is the closest I can estimate... It's particularly unpleasant when you suddenly realize you've gone well beyond the "point of no return", where just about anything you do (say bye, just walk away, or stand there silently until they're done) is not going to work to ease the horrible situation. I used to just walk away, but now I'm trying saying "oh, I'm late, see you later!", as it seems the most polite way to interrupt and walk away quickly. Except for the fact that I don't wear a watch, and have accidentally said that in situations where no clock was visible... Oh well...

My worst situations from AS-like traits have been repeated failures of friendships for reasons that I can never quite figure out, and frustration at my own incredibly immature reaction in a lot of situations. I more or less throw tantrums and can even get a little physical (although not nearly as badly as I did when I was younger). My mother says I am just "strong-willed, with an even stronger temper", but it really bothers me that when this happens I can barely control myself, and I end up either lashing out at people or huddled up under a blanket rocking back and forth...

I came up with a great tactic that works in these situations. It's considered acceptable to use with any people you "sort of" know, such as coworkers, classmates, etc. When you realize you're overstaying in the conversation, say this: "Sorry to leave so abruptly, but I gotta go. See you all [time frame]", where [time frame] is the next time you expect to see them. Then walk away without hesitating. This way, you leave the conversation that you aren't a part of, and at the same time, you leave in a way that keeps you on the clean side of the NT unwritten social rules.

Oh, thank you! I will try to remember to use that next time (next time is inevitable).

Problems with the opposite sex.

I'm sorry you go through this as well, but I'm glad I'm not alone. It definitely is the worst, and I never get out before it gets to that "point of no return"... But that's good advice, I'll try and give it a shot. I don't wear a watch either; I often play with my cell phone to look busy in social situations. I think it's okay though if you say that regardless of there being a visible timepiece around because people are expected to have some sense of time (though I don't).

1. I don't understand when I'm rude and when I supposedly am my mom calls me a b***h.

2. My suspension from College learning of AS last year has opened my view on my behavior so much!! !

There's one good trait I love! Clumsiness I trip over hoses and family laugh which I do too I myself think it's funny.

I can alienate friends and classmates without even realizing it.
And when I try to be sincere, I sound callow!

Bad experiences with men.

Starting up a conversation with people I barely know, or even approaching them.

Being an idiot and needing to be taught how to protect myself from serious consequences. Letting people know that I wanted to commit suicide was the biggest mistake ever. I ended up in the hospital and put myself at risk for explusion from my college. They didnt expel me. My parents needed to come get me and I needed to be evaluated by a psych. The psych told me that I was too literal with people and I didnt detect that my old psych was doing an risk assessment on me. My old psych didnt know I was aspie, was getting exasperated with me, and didnt understand me, talked a bunch of BS about her success in helping people. I ended up staying with my aunt until I could return home, (I go to college out of state), my aunt and my cousin came almost down to the point where they were blaming my depression on myself. My parents put me under question tremendously making me have to explain to them things Ive been trying to keep from them for a long time, I later had my friend snap at me out of misunderstanding of my condition. Most people would recogmended that I return home, transfer tempoarily to a local college, then maybe wait till my junior year to go out of state again. Well I wasnt gonna let that happen. I returned back for second semester trying to prove that I could handle being in college on my own, out of state.

The worst experience?

I've had some rather severe bullying but there is one experience that stands out.

***This gets a bit graphic in nature.If you need to scroll past,I won't be offended***

When I was 6, this group of older boys chased me around the block with knives claiming they were cannibals. Mind you this was around the time when the Jeffery Dahmer case hit the news like a bag of spaghetti hits the pavement. What's worse is that their mom actually encouraged this behavior (my mother and older brother remember her waving a butcher knife from her doorway) and the school administration didn't do anything to discourage the bullying they did have proof for. All I remember is screaming for help, feeling afraid, and the wheel of my bike turning slowly where I threw it down as I ran into the house.

Pretty much all of them are the worst, at least until I stopped going out into the world pretty much then life became better.

Bullying and rejection have always been issues, along with being misunderstood and having no support and being very much alone when push comes to shove. But the worst experience was dealing with health 'professionals' whose bigotry toward and ignorance of AS, lack of ethics, willingness to disregard the law, and complete arrogance have quite literally destroyed my life and dignity.

Greentea wrote:
SMARTIE wrote:
I need someone to just be there for me and not expect too much in return(

Don't we all, dear

Its nice to know its not just me who thinks like that.
Im guessing even NT's may think the same from time to time

Agreed. Shame most relationships don't work like that, people can be so needy! P.S. I like the screename SMARTIE, I've often wondered that. At least idiots have their place in society

All of elementary school...

and

A few years ago, I had a really invasive, stubborn, humiliating and painful bout of obsession with a person, and it was so bad that I nearly wrecked my life over it. Every day was a struggle, and I felt like I had no control over my feelings.
I don't know whether the reason it was so bad was due to my aspieness, but it did seem abnormal.

Lets try to narrow down the list a bit...

- I am quite good at remembering small details and I see my past like a home movie. However I have no memory of the majority of my school life. I know the facts, but I dont remember them as having happened to me. Primary school is virtually non existant, and high school is a vague blur of misery and boredom.

- Having co workers and employers slowly turn from a nice caring human to a conniving scheming piranah. Having this happen in six jobs in a row, usually within two to six months. Knowing you are becoming more paranoid with each job.

- I was part of a lapidary club and appeared to be gettin on well with the people. I thought I had finally found a place where I could be myself and be surrounded by people who cared more about what I could do than who I am. Then one day it came completely out of the blue that there had been a few complaints from people who thought I was bossy and thought I was stepping out of my authority. while I have experienced betrayal, this is by far the strongest sense of that I have in my memory. That was the last day I attended the lapidary club. Even now when I get the standard mail from the club the mental wound is still raw enough that I dont even bother to open the mail before throwing it in the bin.

I can relate to that Space, infact I can't even get that far with relationships. Not being able to make the initial steps of meeting and talking to people has been the most consistantly painful thing in my life.