What they see when they look at us

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b9, I've often had exactly this same thing happen.

How people see me... I don't know. I think I surprise them several times when we first meet. My general appearance/dress/etc. probably says 'somewhat ret*d', so they address me as such. I surprise them by responding in a perfectly articulate and intelligent way, so they tentatively begin to speak to me like a normal person. Then they get a little further into the conversation, and are surprised once again as they begin to realize I'm not responding properly to certain cues, am talking about 'weird' things, and that possibly they were right in the first place. I think I come across as very confusing to people.

I'm NT and I certainly don't think I am better than anyone with AS. I genuinely like people with AS.

BRILLIANT!

B9, that happens to me too. Very interesting what you say about them not feeling "in company" in our company.

And Hovis, I think it's the same dynamics with me too.

i was just diagnosed with AS last June so i'm still adapting but....

i told one of my most trusted friends that i have AS(he's NT). it took me, like, an hour to explain what AS is and a ton of other stuff about me. from then on every time he had someone else to hang out with, that's who he was with. the first day of school i went up to talk to him & to see if we had any classes together. one of his other friends pointed me out on my way over. my friend took me off to the side & told me that we couldn't hang out together anymore. his exact words were "listen (my name), you can't be my friend anymore. so you know what it looks like to the guys? i'm hanging out with a frigging ret*d." he just walked off & didn't even look back.

to answer the questions:
yes, a lot of NT's look down at us
yes, some of them see themselves as better
no, we are not supposed to come to terms with being less because we are not less, we are just different
and yes, they are missing something they miss when they judge us...they are missing the knowlage of what it is like to have AS or autism or ADHD or whatever it is we all have

though, if you look at it all the way i do, everyone has some kind of "disability...." have you ever heard of pet peeves? example: people chewing with their mouth open...its disgusting!

and RudolfsDad, thanks for being one of the "normal" people who accepts us

OMG musicislife. That's awful If I had the power the abolish the word "ret*d" I would do it in a heartbeat. I know it still exists as a medical term, but the general public needs to do away with it. It's horrid.

Sometimes it takes awhile for people to come around. Whether you're an aspie, or a parent/sibling/friend of an aspie, you really discover who your true friends are. The ones who want to learn more to have a better grasp of what you're dealing with or who are just cool with whatever it is you've got goin on.

People look at me as an amusing sort of guy, something not quite right about him, but he's pleasant enough, and boy can he fix printers...

I really think that except for those who've had some education or training on AS, most people don't have any idea what AS actually is. Especially older folks like me.

Sad, but true...

This is one instance where I feel that getting diagnosed late(age31) in life was a good thing. I didn't have to deal with the discrimination that would've came in high school, had they known I had AS. Instead, I was labeled as an eccentric genius, and expected to be weird. That was fine with me because at least I was respected. Sure, I wanted to be popular and social, but, knowing that I was more intelligent than 99% of them, was a fair trade-off. It gave me some peace of mind.

(REMINDER: That was only the positive half of the story.)


Looking back, I realize that it could have been much worse. School kids can be cruel, and had they known I had AS, they most likely would've ridiculed me and made my life hell. I'm glad they didn't know, and I'm glad that I'm old enough to where it doesn't matter that I have AS. I'm not a participant of that social game anymore. Now, I'm just seen as me.

Social skills is the most important skill in society. We lack in that area, so people look down on us.

It is that simple.

Generalising NTs is stupid, they are all different people. Some will look down on us and such and some won't, it depends on the person.

Bear in mind that NTs don't understand us, though, even the ones who try to won't fully succeed, and that works both ways because we can't understand NTs properly, either.

If you run into an NT who actually does perceive you as an inferior species/specimen for whatever crazy, irrational reason they can muster, be the bigger man/woman and don't let them hurt you. Mental exercises can help you in this struggle to become impervious to it... I recommend - Eastern philosophies, such as Taoism and meditation

Note: I typed that in bold because it's really really helping me out. If you like, use it to your advantages too, and become tranquil within yourself.

No, I'm not saying this is the only way, but by gum - it's helping me out tenfold. It might help others too.