How do I learn to verbally intimidate people?

Post Reply New Topic

Worst advice ever. That's what I did in high school and my ignoring my bullies only made things worse. If you don't give them what they want, they will keep upping the ante until you snap.

I met someone like that in high school, only I am not sure what I did (or didn't do) to upset him. Perhaps he was paranoid and read my silence and remote manner as a sign of contempt and defiance.

It took me far too long to work out that this was what my husband was doing to me, but once I understood that he was projecting onto me, I learned a lot about him and his insecurities and fears.

I wouldn't recommend verbal intimidation, mainly because it can get you seriously hurt, but I understand feeling like you need to defend yourself. If you just want to bully the person so they'll shut up or to stun them focus on something about them that they are very ashamed of and don't let it go. Everyone has something like this. For example if someone is pretty attractive except that they have a huge awkard looking nose, focus on that. "Wha? I'm sorry I was distracting by that f***ing nose!" Throwing some f-bombs in always adds a little oomph to what your saying. If you really just want to scare them or shock them get right in their face and throw a bunch of f-bombs in your sentence. Again, I wouldn't recommend intimidating people like this, and I'm not responsible if you get the crap beat out of you. :P

I'd just get other people to laugh at them. Repeating their name in a disappointing tone. Using their words against them. Confusing them with non-sequiteurs. Treating them as 'simple minded'.
Stuff like that.

No. I don't want to rely on ad-hominems. The idea is to intimidate the other person, in an intelligent manner.

I'm sorry to hear that. But it worked for me. It helps if you have friends or good acquaintances that come to your defense when you're being bullied, and I guess I was fortunate to have that a lot in middle school and high school. But still, if you're strong enough inside to keep ignoring them no matter what they do, eventually most bullies will figure out you're not worth their time. I guess if you do feel the need to talk to them, then maybe learning some good ways of verbal intimidation might be a good idea. But the last thing you want to do is "give them what you want" like you said, because if you do that, you've proven to them that you are weak and a good target for bullying. So they'll only be worse the next time you see them

Find some obscure flaw, and gigantisize it. You'll get into a war of words, and the first few times you'll lose. But it's like anything else:With time you'll get better.

You can do something like that but remember, if you have a flaw the person will most likely pounce on that in retaliation, if not right away, perhaps later, after they have thought of it. I've tried many of the tactics mentioned here myself. One thing I've noticed: if I make fun of someone's flaw they pounce on one of mine and when I look for another one of theirs and then point that out they just find another one of mine. It goes on and on because we never run out of flaws. This is what you can do: If you get in a situation where it's you and the other guy continuously pointing out each other's flaws getting more viscious each time and it's starting to upset you or piss you off, just start laughing like a maniac. Laugh loudly. Laugh profoundly. Laugh hysterically. Laugh for as long as you can and watch to see what the other guy's next move will be.

That's why I use truth as my weapon. Because that's the one thing that most people can't match, so it won't escalate. It ends right there and then.

I agree with this response, and can relate to it quite a bit. Although, I might be slightly ahead with the verbal part.

i think the 1st reply pretty much said it all. its not about what you say or how you say it, or glueing together impressive combinations of clever insults.

of course, you have to do better than a lonely "... oh yeah??"

its a lot more in your presence than in the choise of words.
for example, a simple glance in return, can be tons more intimidating than some aggressive rant of insults.

i wonder tho, whats this need you have to verbally intimidate people?

I don't know how I can beat up allmost anyone verbaly, it just comes to me when I need it.
It's allmost allways about makeing the other one look stupid becouse of what he said, if they learn that you'll take whatever they say and use it to make them look stupid, they won't come after you.

Of course you should allways have a backup plan.

If they are trying to make a mean joke about you/towards you, the best thing you can do is play stupid and ask them to explain what's so funny, then let them explain the joke to death (you still pretend that you don't get it).
It will never come up again.


So you didn't fight, others did it for you. You didn't "win" becouse you ignored them.
"eventually most bullies will figure out you're not worth their time"
This is allmost right, the correct is:
"You must show them that you are not worth the effort."

in my experience, some bullies are happy as long as they have a safe outlet, to pour their insecurities on.
so, in some cases, neither ignoring nor reacting to them will make any difference. in this case, an attitude change, outwards, towards other people may be more helpful. they see you interact openly with people around you, they will be more reluctant to mob against someone who has friends, than someone who wanders around allone.

it often depends where the bully is "coming from".

a factor that unites most bullies, is their own insecurity. the bullied one can use that to his/her advantage

That strategy sounds like it could work. Problem is, with my social skills, that's not really an option.

i know, in my case, i was lucky. circumstances around me changed, and i got the chance to view myself, and my school, and my classmates etc, from a more neutral point of view. i dunno about you, or how you come off to people, but with me,
in time i changed my whole outwardly persona, i used to hunch, but i learned to walk almost exaggeratedly straight, it felt like i was bending backwards, but it genuinely boosted my confidence.
most importantly: when talked to, instead of reacting in a surprised or insecure way, i answer as if they interrupted my dinner, very abruptly and directly "YES?" "OKAY!", mumbling is self-confidence-death, blurting things out in a almost psychotically direct manner may not be the best thing to do, but it sure as hell beats mumbling ;]
so... i dont think i changed much more than that, my bodily posture, and the tone of my voice, and of course, i stare directly into peoples face. again, its awkward, but it beats looking down.
for voice/eyecontact practice: use your local grocery store clerks ;]

/rant