Cruel(lest) ways you've been rejected?

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well i think we should be proud for not giving into the urge to go on a killing spree...

however...a hypothetical problem is...if i saw a group of teenagers bullying another teenager, or rejecting them in some nasty way, i don't think i would be able to control myself, the emotion would be too great, and i might end up beating the sh** out of several teenage girls...which wouldn't do my career any good...i guess i'd just have to find a way, i'm learning breathing exercises and grounding at the moment, it's good

I don't have violent urges, never had them. I'm a strong believer in the power of feeding people a spoonful of their own medicine, teaching them a lesson. It rarely happens that life puts me in a position that I can do it without wasting time/energy seeking revenge or harming anything in my life, but sometimes life does give me the opportunity to give these people who rejected me so cruelly as good as they gave me. I get such an opportunity with one person a year on average, which is much more than I ever expected.

I've never really been rejected that much, I don't hang out with people I know could be jerks. Though I remember being younger and being at a sleep over with two friends and my brother. My mom said two people would sleep up stairs and two downstairs, and the two friends I had invited wanted to share a room well me and my brother slept somewhere else.

But my mother tells me when I was little when she used to get me to invite lots of peers to my birthday parties, which I did. That I used to be like, give me the presents and go home, I wasn't trying to be impolite I guess. Anyway later on I remember telling these 2 friends of mine after they said thanks for the invite (after my mom called them to come over, after she asked me if I wanted them to come, and I did), I had to give the bad come back of "I didn't invite you". Yeah I was so lousy at understanding if I hurt someones feelings. It was true that one friend had begun to get on my nerves, and the other friend was getting flirty with my crush at the time. But I certainly didn't mean what I said to be hurtful.

Call me a wuss but I believe in defending myself if needed, but turning the other cheek as much as possible. I guess it makes me out to be doormat material but I think that hurting others in the way they hurt you makes you just as bad as they are. (Not meaning to insult anyone here.. just saying that's how I feel about revenge myself.) I also have a tendency to stand up for someone who is being unfairly attacked and I don't feel that an earlier attack against yourself is justification for a later attack instigated by you. I also don't feel that 'standing up for yourself' needs to include an attack.

But thats just my opinion. I've been a doormat more times than I can count, so what do I know?

Probably group work in high school, boy I hated those moments.

Boy does this peel the scab off a barely healed wound.

I was a member of a committee in college, and we were an extremely tight knit group (I thought) and I did everything with this same group of about 12-15 friends for over two years. The kind of 'leader' of the group was my very best friend, and I spent all the time I wasn't spending with everyone else hanging out with her. She was younger than everybody else and we took her under our wing. She was fat and quiet and nerdy and even more clueless than me when we met, and I befriended her almost out of pity. Over the years she lost weight and came out of her shell and I guess figured out she was hot. Guys in our group of friends started fighting over her a bit, and things started to get a little complicated for everybody, but seemed to be going ok.

Eventually we all lived in the same apartment complex. We went on trips together. We went out almost every night of the week to movies or bars or restaurants. We threw huge theme parties and I was always in charge of making the banners. One guy in the group I was in love with and we spent a lot of time together and had been intimate on occasion, which was hard enough for me to navigate without everything else going on. She also didn't have a car, and I drove her everywhere, anytime, and I never asked any questions or for gas money because loyalty and going out of my way for someone is a large part of how I define friendship. I assumed they'd always do the same for me if I needed it.

In the "Friendocalypse of 06" I woke up one morning and my best-friend from the past two years had blocked me on AIM and unfriended me on Facebook, and everyone else had decided not to talk to me. I was no longer invited out, and no one ever contacted me to give me an explanation. There hadn't been any fights, any awkward outings I could think of, and no one ever complained to me unless they wanted to gossip about someone else. I was 100% shut out and it devastated me to the point I thought seriously about suicide. Her influence spread wide, and people I never met were laughing at me and avoiding me up until I left the town last fall. She worked in an academic department and even talked s**t about me to professors I had or would later have. I also didn't get several jobs because people had "heard" about me and were warned off, even after giving a good interview and having been told I'd get the position.

She moved to Washington D.C. with most members of "the group" and last I heard was living with the guy I had been in love with.

A little after it happened, a waitress at a restaurant I always went to with them stopped by my table to make sure I wasn't still hanging out with her and doing her favors. Apparently they had continued to go there and had loud conversations making fun of me and saying awful things to the point even the waitstaff could hear and talked about me. It had really disturbed the waitress, who was always nice to me, and she wanted to give me a heads up in case I didn't know and told me she didn't believe anything they were saying about me.

Other things I've found out include being the leader of a committee that I loved and devoted my life to, then I was nominated by this best friend for re-election, and I ended up losing (much to my shock at the time) so badly I only had one vote - I assumed she was my only vote, when actually she spoke out against me while I was in the hall. Since she was also a respected leader and everyone knew we were tight friends, they figured she must be telling the truth.

I still don't know what so few people "refused to believe" while everyone else "believed". And I probably don't ever want to, it might send me over the edge.

Sorry that was kind of long and disjointed. I really can't talk about it well, its so upsetting.

And I've experienced a lot of what you guys have said, too, at other times with both this group and with other former groups of friends.

I only have 3 friends now. They're all men.

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Wow, Hayleylovesyou, that is so awful. I'm sorry that ever happened to you.

The biggest rejection campaign that I can recall at the moment was back when I was in high school. The sad thing is that I never really caught on to how badly these "fiends" were treating me, and I let it happen repeatedly. Out of nowhere, my two "friends" would just not acknowledge my existence. We would be out at a football game, or hanging out around town, and I'd see them whispering together, then the next thing I would know, they'd pretend that I wasn't there. If I'd try to talk to them they'd just pretend they couldn't hear me. I'd usually end up going off by myself for awhile. The next time I'd see them they'd act like the whole thing didn't happen, and that I was making it up, or exaggerating. I finally got them to admit that they did collaborate together to ignore me sometimes, but they couldn't tell me why they did it. Just that it seemed "like something fun to do." Toward the end of 9th grade I had a nervous breakdown, and refused to ever go back to school again. I had to be home schooled.

hayleylovesyou: that story is chilling. It reminds me of the stories where people encounter sociopaths who turn everyone they know against them.


I've just remembered another occasion of rejection at university. I knew a group of students through another person, and they arranged for everyone to meet one evening on campus for my birthday. Not many of the group turned up and those who did ignored me. I also got sensory overload from the music and ended up curled into a ball with my head down for ages. My friend asked a couple of times if I wanted to leave, but I was unable to move and stayed in the same position for a couple of hours. Once the music stopped, I could move enough to make it to the bathroom.

After emerging from freshening up in the bathroom, I found the group waiting outside the door and I sensed a very unpleasant atmosphere, getting several fearful-looking glances my way. My friend then started to berate me for holding everyone up "deliberately" and was seething at me for being an embarrassment that evening.

As everyone emerged onto the darkened streets, they started walking well ahead of me and my friend. When my friend had another go at me, I became overloaded again and a few tears emerged. As a result, the friend walked on ahead in disgust. As I continued walking alone, I could see the others beginning to move out of sight. Being on the streets at night, alone and in overload, was not a safe situation, but I eventually registered relief they were no longer around me. However, the friend eventually decided to rejoin me, and made things much worse, even dangerous--which I won't go into, because it's not on the topic of rejection--but among other things, it involved them dragging me across the street, once they'd made my overload so bad that I kept collapsing on the floor. In general, I've found it's much better for me to be alone and not have friends.

I've simply put up a mental line, no one passes that no matter who they are, the only exeption is my dog. (After reading this I need to hug him for a while.)

And of course used all those hurtfull experinces to boost my defences. I think I'm very close to becoming complety self-isolated, it's a very nice feeling. Most things bounce of the first line of defence now.

And a little golden light in all the darkness, one of the people I count as my friends scored 150 on the Aspie-test, it was a very nice suprise. It might explain why I allways liked him. ^^