Best (best) ways you've gotten back at someone.

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Holy crap, this is the HOLY GRAIL of advice! I love it.

Quoting Alba:


I agree. Becoming a doormat or scapegoat should not be an option, but then, whoever consciously opts for such a position?

But, I don't understand. Why is the "window of opportunity" 6 weeks (or less)? Is this a fact in a handbook or manual? I've never heard of it before.



I don't know. I think if I felt my life or well-being was threatened, I wouldn't wait around until I found a new job to report it. I would go to the police immediately. Finding a new job wouldn't necessarily solve the problem if someone was psycho enough to threaten your life or well being they would probably be so out of touch with reality that they wouldn't rest until they tracked you down. Once your dead, they can't make your life anymore miserable than that.

i do not have a vengeful mind. if someone makes me angry, then i just fume for a while and then i forget it because i can not stay angry for long.

but if someone is making my life difficult, and they are in my life everyday, then i may do things to cause them hardship.

i will say an example.
i had a teacher in year 7 who very much disliked me and she said my attitude was atrocious. every time i addressed her she used to say "how dare you talk to me like that you impudent little upstart". she was very strict, but she had class pets who she unfairly favored.
she was a history teacher. i did not like history at all, and just took it because i had to.
she was disgusted at my lack of interest in history and called me slow witted and an imbecile. i said to her that you did not need to be smart to know history. all you need is a memory. i said that i would only be interested in history at the end of time.
she disliked me intensely from then, and i did not like her at all.

i noticed she had a somewhat paranoid personality, and i also wondered if she had schizophrenia. so i started to chip away at her.

when i would go to class, i always sat right in front of her at the front of the class.
when she asked a question, i would put my hand up (if i knew the answer) and she would have to let me answer if i was the only one who put up their hand. so i stood up and answered, but i pulled serious faces at her while i was talking.
from the class's point of view (from behind where they could not see my face), i was talking in a sober and quiet way to her. from her point of view i had a serious psycho expression on my face as i spoke to her (baring my teeth and grimacing like a monster).
she used to stop me and say "how dare you speak to me in that way", and i instantly dropped the expression and turned slightly so the class could see my innocent expression, and then i would turn back to her and re-pull the same face and say in an innocent way "sorry miss?"
she would tell me to get out.
after many of these incidents, the class thought she was crazy and if another teacher asked the kids what i did wrong, they would say i seemed proper in every way, and they could not understand why she had a problem.

then i practiced ventriloquism in a way, where i would talk without moving my lips. so when i spoke to her with my back to the class was i would silently mouth the words first, then say them audibly without moving my lips. no one but her saw this and she screamed one day "why are you doing this to me you evil little boy?!?!?" and lost her composure in the classroom. the other kids were starting to believe she was insane.

then, on a cold morning when i was in the playground and had condensation coming from my breath, i thought it looked like i was smoking. so i got a white pencil from my bag and pretended to be secretively smoking when she was on patrol. she saw me and started running in my direction and i pretended i was stubbing the cigarette out and i threw the pencil into the bushes and she grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to the principals office.
she demanded that i had been smoking, but when the principal smelled my breath, it was clean, and he politely said to her that she must have been mistaken as it was a cold morning after all. i think he was losing confidence in her to a degree.

after i was let go, she said to me that she knew i was a "sick little jerk" and she was "on to me" and she would have me out of the school before i knew it. i thought "we will see".

then i wrote my best attempt at a 10 page essay that we had to do for a test, and i made sure that the last page contained only a few words.
i also wrote a dummy essay that was absolute nonsense, and i made sure page 9 of that dumb essay flowed correctly and seamlessly into the words on page 10 of the good essay.

so i submitted the 9 page nonsense essay with page 10 of the good essay for her to mark.
she wrote in red at the end of my essay on page 10 that it was rubbish and showed i have not been paying attention. she marked it 25%
then when i got the marked essay back, i discarded the 9 pages of the silly essay and replaced them with the 9 original pages from my good essay and then i complained about my mark to the principal.
he agreed it was a bit harsh.

and then another time, i wrote a scribbled note during class that was about a dream i had where a man was saying "i am going to kill you". (i made up the dream as a stage)
i made sure she saw me writing this covert note and i held the words "i will kill you" tightly between my thumb and forefinger. she demanded the note and started to pick it up but i was not going to let it go (staged) and she ripped it out of my hand. the words "i am going to kill you" were still in my hand, but she did not realize it and went to her desk and read the note. she decided it was nothing to bother about and screwed it up and threw it in her bin.

after class, i picked the note out of her bin. then a few days later, i dropped the piece of paper that stayed in my hand (with the words "i am going to kill you") near her desk.
i saw her notice it and then she picked it up and recognized my handwriting. she went ballistic and said "now i've got you!! !" and she ran out of the room.

i then put the note i got from her bin back in her bin and waited for the principal to return (as i knew he would) and he demanded an explanation. i said it was part of a note that "miss" took off me earlier. the rest is in her bin i think. i said she must have tore it up somehow and maybe she is confused.

he looked in there and found the note and jigsaw puzzled the shred she was complaining about with the rest of the note and it matched.

he asked her to go back with him to his office and i think they had words because she left the next monday.

i have no idea whether i was the reason, but i think her credibility was not well respected by him in the end.
i lasted at that school for another 3 months.

er..you are taking my use of the word "option" too literally, or otherwise misunderstanding.

The rest of your points are partially valid, but I wasn't talking about sociopaths. When I said "If you feel your life or well-being is threatened", it should have been clarified as not referring to any sociopath or whacko. "Threatened" was perhaps a poor choice of words.

As for 6 weeks, that is a reasonable maximum don't you think?--for tolerating severe or continual harrassment, abuse, doormating or scapegoating...especially if it is affecting work performance. And as for stalking....the police take those things very seriously. Get restraining order and file incident report if you have evidence.

Hey, Hartz.

Mutually assured destruction is not winning. And its not a good way to get ahead. If I were able to deal with the social aggression of manipulative abusers constructively, I would. Blowing up the playground when a sexual predator is engaging in personal abuse crimps the abuser's games. But it also kills the kids.

I'd much rather be able to defuse, avoid, shut down or block these sexual predators (male and female) before it gets to an open confrontation or failure stage. But that takes actual social skills I don't have.